Internet Dating :) Is it yours by internet?

[abidams 0]

I'm not sure the internet dating thing is for me at all. It's Christmas and I am all alone again, at age 36! In the last 2 years, I have met 4 girls online, chatted online for a while and eventually met them. It all ended the same way - high expectations, dashed hopes.I broke up with the last one about 2 weeks ago. I had thought this was going to be different. We got along so beautifully when we first met via a dating site. We started talking on the phone for hours daily. We both felt things were looking good.I won't bore you with too much details, I'll leap and tell you we met and I was a little disappointed. Three things: 1. she was overweight (she had told me she was big, but I foolishly thought she was overstating it. I never expected her to be that big). 2. Her personal hygiene was cool (gross) 3. She suffered from legendary insecurity.We tried to make it work, operating under the illusion that nothing in the world is perfect. We believed we could focus on the positives and ignore the obvious problems. It didn't work.We don't talk anymore. We parted ways about 2 weeks ago.So here I am wondering if... What a Christmas I'm gonna have...another lonely, lonely yuletide.

[anwiii 17]

i'm not going to do this post justice. maybe i will expand on it if i get any response from this post. to me, dating is dating no matter which means you choose to communicate. you can communicate on the phone, in person, webcam, typing, etc...i was in my early 30's and wasn't looking for anyone. in fact, i would rarely date at all. i knew in my soul that i had to be patient and i didn't want to date the same person several times just to satisfy my emptiness or lonliness. i LOVED the chat rooms though. mainly i was very sarcastic and witty and would just say some of the weirdest stuff just to liven the place up. i met some girls that i thought had potential but never really was fully in to it. something was missing.anyway, one day, i met someone how wrote something in several peoples emails. it was a cummonity environment and i recieved one of the select few emails sent. i was intrigued because this person sent something from their heart and explained why they were hurt. such a magical thinking person to write someone like that and stay positive after being hurt. we got to talking. was intrigued more by other things.eventually, i was thinking about this person every day and would be empty inside if i didn't have the chance to talk to her that day. we started talking on the phone, showing webcam, etc....and i was falling in love. i was falling in love by what was inside this person rather than the physical aspect. i told some people about how i was feeling and they all told me i was nuts. some who knew me very well even went so far to say that i have always been attracted to those who need help in their lives and it wasn't love i was feeling. well, they were right and wrong. only i could be my own judge in what i was really feeling.5 years later, we got married. now, relationships are tricky. marriages are tricky. most people don't hold relationships or marriages sacred as i do. divorce rates are too high and everyone is dating everyone under the sun. me, i didn't date much. and at the age of 38, i entered in to a life long commitment of marriage which i don't plan to break. my patience paid off in the long run. my morals and values paid off in the long run. my understanding of who i am paid off in the long run. my basic knowledge of life paid off in the long run. i was LONELY people, and i had the discipline to not lead others on because of it. i stood firm n my beliefs in who i was. i didn't dress to impress. i didn't go out of my way to be someone i wasn't. anyone who saw me as attractive on the inside or out would get me fully with no games and no misconceptions. internet dating is looked down upon because people don't understand love. they don't understand soul mates. they don't understand friendships. they think the internet isn't real life. these people live their lives in a hole that they can't escape from. these people limit themselves to the possibilities of real life.i want to add this though. internet dating is alot harder than in person dating. it's also more dangerous for women. i went through a lot while i was dating over the internet. i was tested in life. it was a huge test. i'm glad i passed it and i'm glad it's over because there were very sad and scarey times. life threatening sometimes. when someone lives 1800 miles away and there are scarey times, you want to be there for that person no matter what....and you can't because you are seperated by 1800 miles. in person relationships are easier, but people take advantage of that and don't hold relationship as sacred. they date to use people. they date to test the waters and lead people on. they get along sometimes and decide to get married before they realize it was a mistake. if you ask me, a lot of the follish people are holding the in person relationships who aren't open enough or strong enough to get close to someone online.online, you have two choices. since you can be whoever you want online, you can lie and decieve like a lot of people do. or you have the opportunity to open your heart. it's alot easier online to open your heart for some reason because it's not face to face and people get embarrased or think too much. sometimes it's easier to just type it, and walk away from the screen in embarrasment and then come back :)anyway, my wife and i have been married for almost a year now(we got married on january 1st, 2007). we have struggled, but we are making it. we are soul mates. we are so much alike and our differences compliment eachother. what i am weak in, she is strong in. what she is weak in, i am strong in. it's a perfect sceneario of compatibility. if i were to have limited myself to just an in person relationship, then i would have never gave the relationship with my wife a chance. so thank god i never took the advice of my mother, some of my friends, and some of the close minded people who have responded to this thread. thanks god i had a brain of my own that i used and became a better person for it.sorry. i love my mother and i respect other peoples opinions, my mother knows now she was wrong. hopefully some of the people who responded negatively opens up their minds to the limits of all possibilities that is REAL.i know i've rambled but hahaha i have to laugh knowing that some people called what i did as desperate. i have never been desperate my whole life. i was in fact the OPPOSITE of desperate since my problem wasn't getting people to date me i just knew what i wanted and needed and i waited and waited for it. i would have waited a lifetime if i had to. i will never sacrifice my principles on loneliness. so sorry to disappoint all those who think it's a desperate act to date on the internet hahahabtw- i do love to help people. funny that the people needing the most help are often found in the chat rooms. i needed help with my lonliness and that was satisfied by guiding people within their own unique situations. i still do. some of them are women. my wife gets jealous. doesn't if i am helping a man though. go figure. she still has trust issues but i'm patient

[musicmaza 0]

I would not be the one to enroll my name here,thats because I tried dating through internet but the outcome was nothing.We two developed good relationships,But after a while there was no response from the girl.After that I hate Internet dating.I think till you don't meet the right person and trust you shouldn't take a step forward.Thats all I have learnt from my past relations...........

[dcshaw.en 0]

Before I start here, I'd like to say that I'm not even going to read the other replies in this thread, because I fear that they will anger me. Because the topic of internet relationships cannot be discussed in public without stubborn people *BLEEP*ing about it.Anyway,I'd also like to say that, before reading this story and thinking it has a happy ending in the context of the plot... It doesn't. :)AnywayAs I was sayingA few years ago (Three... Almost to the day... I think I met her on like the 29th of December) I met this girl in the Internet. And yadda yadda yadda, I started to have feelings for her. Anyway, after a while (An internet relationship is a little more serious of a commitment than I'd rush into), after 6 months, the two of us got together. Via internet. Internet relationship.NowDue toThings that happenedMurphy's Law kind of things.In the first week we were together.Things got a little screwed up.Pretty much to the point that we fought every day.Every day.Consistently.We actually had it almost down to a schedule. We'd talk civilly for about an hour then I'd say something to piss her off and it'd go from there.Anyway, four months into this long term argument (As I like to call it)We broke up.Which was bad. Needless to say.This isn't quite the end yet though. Remember this whole thing started three years ago, and we got together at the end of July. So this means we broke up in November. We've only really made it a year into the story. There's time left still.AnywayIn January, on the third, actually.I was talking to her again, because, y'know, she was also pretty much my best friend and I wanted to keep her in my life.And, after talking to her for a while in January, we decided to make the 'always brilliant' idea of getting back together.And hey, it worked this time, more-so than the first time we were together ever came close to.We didn't fight anymore and worked past all the other *BLEEP* that plagued the relationship.Anyway, the next 7 months or so are just blank plot. And if anyone has actually read the post all the way to here, I commend you, I don't really expect my rambling to be well received.But after the next 7 months went by, we broke up again. Due to no dramatic event, we just weren't working anymore. No fighting or anything like that. It was a very peaceful breakup, as far as they go.Anyway, we're getting close to the end now. (I've never actually tried to summarize the whole relationship in a single forum post somewhere)I didn't speak to her again for almost a year after that. Just because I didn't want to get back into it after a couple months like the first one. But I'm speaking with her again now. In purely platonic ways, which makes me happy, because she's still one of my best friends.And since then, I've also started dating someone... Not via the internet now. Which is great (And a pleasant change).Anyway, that's the gist of it, I suppose.Overall, I don't disapprove of online relationships. They can work out, I've seen and heard of them working out before. And the experience I had with them was not negative. And the reasons for it not working out were hardly to due to the distance between us. So I don't put "Internet Relationships" in the negative category any more than I put "Real Life" relationships into the negative category; even though I've had FAR, FAR more bad experiences with girls close to me than the one across the ocean.

Edited December 24, 2007 by dcshaw.en (see edit history)

[paradicema 0]

yeah i believe some of which you are saying, i think that no one can be trusted over there net or at least very few pwoplw can be trusted, the internet and social networks scare me

[sm.thomas 0]

I'm sure there are women on the net. But don't expect to find your perfect partner on the other side of the screen. It might just end really badly. And all those success stories you read about on things like match.com or whatever. Well it's called advertising. I wonder how many times they can ask someone for a quote like that out of a thousand. Online dating seems like a lottery. A very scary and disturbing one.

yeah.. online dating is just like as game of chance. but it also depends on how you present your self during online dating.

Also, two of the most important things for communication are inflection and body language, and you just can't get those online.

but your profile can tell much more about you and your conversation is the most powerful element to present yourself. This way you may also get idea about the singles who are at the other side of the screen.

[slave 0]

dating over internet is just waste of time and you cant rely on people over internet cause most of them are fake and mostly they tell wrong about them, it's better to find a good real person in real life cause life is real it's not virtual show. i had bad experience over internet related to this so personally i think it's simply insane to find or dating on internet yeah there are few successful stories i've heard about it but i think it ratio is too low that you can can't try you luck over it. anyways. it's all up to you how you think.

[Ousk 0]

online dating... i don't know i think it could work if u just want to get some quick sex but that's about all you can get. my point is that if it's so hard to find someone for you in real life imagine how much the chance drop online where some a lot of them are scammers. and even without the scammers it's really hard to hit it of with someone on the net, and they're pictures might be misleading... (it happened to me, yeah i know..). better go to your local bar and star hitting on girls you like from 20 hits you'll get one , that is if your not the ugliest guy on the planet, and u can do 10 hits a day easy )

[r0b-dog 0]

Just had to say something, its such as interesting topic.

There are no women on the internet. Just men who are men, women who are men, and children who are FBI agents.

lol, I like that quote. just had to mention it.

I'd have to agree that "falling in love" over the internet is not the smartest thing to do. I saw a quote once that was something like Obviously this can't be taken literally, but wherever you go there's a good chance that whoever you're talking to isn't who you think it is.
Also, two of the most important things for communication are inflection and body language, and you just can't get those online. It's much easier to lie to someone, too. You just don't get a lot of the things over the internet that you get talking to someone in person.

thats why you meet up in real life, but thats always a risk,

the hell?
dont do internet dating. i mean on the NET? Okay, maybe whoever does that needs a LIFE. no offence.

1. you dont know the person, even if you SEE them in person... who knows what they'll do?
2. they MAY be faking it.
3. they can rape (women of course..) you OR steal anything of your belongings.
4. they might not be STRAIGHT. (bi, hetro, trans, lesbians...,*happy*..)

yeah sorry for that "improper" english.

I like all that!!! just what i was thinking, and half of them are true..

As for me, Internet Dating is safe. I do not wish to meet my online bf in the real world because I know he can rape me OR kill me. As long as you can handle yourself not to meet guys outside and meet him behind the screen, it is secure for girls. This is my rule and I can manage very well because I always date with guys who stay abroad. I have never given my real name, my real address, and my real mobile number.
Although I think internet dating is good in some way, I do not wish to marry online bf.
I totally agree with others. It won't go well. 100% for sure.

hmm, sounds interesting...

but as generation changed and times, changed i think internet dating is been a popular way of meetting people, just think of rsvp,myspace and social networks where you meet other people, but it has always been a risk of meeting other people as of murder or rape, but this depends mainly on trust, as you have to trust each other to meet up,

but overall i dont think its a bad idea, as its a way of socilising,

but why Internet dating, just through IM, through the comp.

[iGuest 3]

im in love via internet too!!Internet Dating

I am! really in love, met him 2 years ago, he if from the UK and I'm mexican, started dating 4 months ago and we are already planning our future together, I actually asked him if he would marry me and he said yes haha, of course we'll wait until we meet for that ^^  

-reply by abigail s.

[ASHISHRANJAN 0]

hi,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,i am ashish ranjani am sorry i canot say anything about it because i don't had such experience.but when ever i will get through it i will make you know about that