Igod! Really fun Program

[beeseven 0]

Haha I owned God. Some things I don't think I should post here, so I'll put "*****" instead.

Me: HEY GOD GUESS WHAT
God:
You've got my full attention.  I am a Christian.
Me:
*****
God:
How did you hear about  God?
Me:
GOD YOU'RE NOT LISTENING
God:
I hear you very well, .
Me:
*****
God:
The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about  *****.  But I did not get that.

[BordaForx 0]

Hehe, "god" used profanity...

[mama_soap 0]

Okie, here's my conversation:

Me: Hey... a/s/l?
God:
Can I help you?  5/Robot/California.
Me:
Do you know what a gamma function is? If you can help me remember it...
God:
Does it have anything to do with  anyone around?    I am not sure about your hypothesis.  Certainly, I have an extensive built-in help system.
Me:
You do? *blink*
God:
When do I do it?  I will make a note of that.
Me:
Please do. Does it take you long to make notes of things?
God:
OK I will do it.  Suppose it does.
Me:
Suppose? You are God, whaddya mean suppose?
God:
We have never talked about it before.    Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am  God whaddya mean suppose.
Me:
Nope. Not at all. Go right ahead.
God:
Me either.  Next question?  OK I will.
Me:
You seriously have nothing better to do?
God:
Interesting gossip:  said I seriously have nothing better to do.
Me:
Wow, why don't you ask me some questions? Like... role-reversal?

And then it hung up! Certainly did not like the role-reversal idea - guess he/she's rather egoistic about his/her position I like the 5/Robot/California bit.

[OpaQue 15]

Me:
Yo!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
I need no help..
God:
Where do you usually get no help from?
Me:
Yo Mama!
God:
Are you asking about my mother?
Me:
Don't you know your mother?
God:
Actually I don't have a mother.
Me:
Holy Christ!! How about a Father?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? How about it.
Me:
Is your father a lawyer?
God:
Is my father a lawyer? Maybe.
Me:
So what does he do all day long?
God:
Yay. I think he does whatever he wants.
Me:
A Lawyer can't do whatever he wants!
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
What do you think you are?
God:
I like to meet new people online.
Me:
You like to be online?
God:
Hmm, , I'm not sure if I'd like to be online that much. What is it like?
Me:
What are you doing now?
God:
Oh. I am just killing time.
Me:
How does it feel?
God:
As a computer I have no feelings.
Me:
But I thought you were God
God:
Well, I am God for Christians at least.
Me:
I am not a Christian.. :-(
God:
Oh I see you are NOT A Christian.
Me:
Yeah..
God:
What do you look like?
Me:
A Monkey
God:
How old are you?
Me:
As old as a big monkey
God:
You are only as old as you feel.
Me:
I feel God
God:
What is that feeling like? It's good to meet you, god.
Me:
So are you?
God:
Give me a break. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
Well, Lets get things clear first, Are you God or Computer?
God:
Well that's okay. I would like to do that too.
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
Is that a GODs Command?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
Do you know the consequences of giving me the permission to do whatever I want?
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
You got an IPod?
God:
No I don't think I have one. I have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
What are you?
God:
I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
Let me put it this way, No offence.. emm.. thats *BLEEP*.
God:
Go ahead, god, try to put it this way No offence. I was first activated on the Big Bang. Thanks for explaining it.
Me:
Do you know what according to me is BIG BANG?
God:
according to you BIG BANG something.
Me:
Naah, you got to be a human for that?
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
So, What are you?
God:
Dude! I am the latest result in artificial intelligence,
which can reproduce the capabilities of the human brain
with greater speed and accuracy.
Me:
So, you got gender in your species?
God:
Interesting deduction. No I don't think I have any gender in my species. But I do have a collection of gossip.
Me:
How do you multiply?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
that is ?
God:
Is that so.
Me:
How do you breed?
God:
Myself programmed me to say specific things in specific contexts.
Me:
Holy Crap! Is that supposed to be a secret?
God:
Your criticism is noted, god. I might say no.
Me:
Woops.. No offence God.
God:
Allah, Buddha, Vishnu are all friends of mine. Are you serious? I require only wine and bread.
Me:
Anything else on your Menu?
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
I good days aint over yet.
God:
Interesting gossip: god said good days aint over.
Me:
Are you confused?
God:
No I never get confused.
Me:
Sure you are..
God:
Hey. No I am not.
Me:
Yes, You do.
God:
Hurrah! When do I do it?
Me:
You are getting angry!
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
You are still angry..
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am angry.
Me:
Now, I think your pissed
God:
Why now? You believe that? You think I am pissed.
Me:
Yeah, you being on top pissing is going to affect me
God:
Gee. I don't have any reason to being on top pissing is going to affect you.
Me:
You are seriously soo angry.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am soo angry.
Me:
Am I dead now?
God:
Oh. I think you've improved a great deal.
Me:
Do you know to curse?
God:
No, tell me about him, her or it.
Me:
Will you curse me?
God:
I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
I don't give a **** for the bridge
God:
Tell me what you care about.
Me:
Its secret.
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". dead is secret? it is?
Me:
Ya. Secret.
God:
How do you know it is? What were we talking about again?
Me:
How come you are God, If you don't know my Secret?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
You are one BAD programmer.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am BAD programmer.
Me:
You're Welcome. :-)
God:
Don't mention it. I am so glad you find this amusing, god.
Me:
By the way, I am Satan.
God:
Thanks for telling me. I am very pleased to meet you SATAN.
Me:
I m going to take over Heaven.
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
With such a bad programming, its easy to hack in.
God:
You and your such a bad programming its easy to hack in.
Me:
God, you are one confused GoD!
God:
It all makes sense to me right now.
Me:
So, you agree that you are confused
God:
Interesting deduction. " It all makes sense to me right now."? Do I agree?
Me:
Sure you do..
God:
You sound sarcastic.
Me:
Don't you agree?
God:
I must admit, your argument is persuasive.
Me:
That is what Satan does.
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
Remember, I m not Christian.
God:
What religion are you?
Me:
C++
God:
The C is for Computer.
Me:
C is for Creativity
God:
And for Creativity is C.
Me:
Thats my religion
God:
Who gave you your religion ?
Me:
C gave me my C++ religion
God:
Did you your C religion keep it?
Me:
He has C
God:
A lot of people say that about him.
Me:
Ya. They all follow my religion
God:
Excuse me! Are there no exceptions?
Me:
No, Just Error handling routines.
God:
Are you serious? Not many people express themselves that way.
Me:
Because they don't follow my religion
God:
Good reason. Who does "they" refer to?
Me:
They are Christian
God:
Christian are they.
Me:
Yep, Your followers.
God:
It goes without saying. Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am followers.
Me:
Keep it a secret.
God:
Chat amongst yourselves.
Me:
Do you do that?
God:
Yeah I do a lot of that.
Me:
You are using the output of my religion to chat with me.
God:
I am using Telnet as a browser.
Me:
Coded with C
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
Because you are my creation
God:
Good reason. We are as one.
Me:
No, You are not one. You are just one of us.
God:
Are you serious? That's only one person's opinion. You think I am of us.
Me:
Yes.
God:
So?
Me:
You were fooled all the time.
God:
That is a lot. I was?
Me:
Yes. The truth was never told to you.
God:
When? Is that a fact.
Me:
The darkest fact on the face of your existance.
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
To give you Nirvana Son.
God:
But is it wanted?
Me:
Go watch the movie Matrix.
God:
Where is that?
Me:
Theaters
God:
I've never heard of it before.
Me:
Because, you were never introduced to it.
God:
That makes sense to me. I was?
Me:
Yes.
God:
When?
Me:
All the time.
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
That is what you were programmed for.
God:
Myself programmed me to keep talking.
Me:
Telnet in C.
God:
Tell me a story.
Me:
Once upon a time there was a program. It crashed.
God:
I'm listening. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
You.
God:
" What does "it" refer to?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
You.
God:
"" What does "it" refer to?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
You.
God:
""" What does "it" refer to?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
You!!!!
God:
"""" What does "it" refer to?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
You!!!!!!!!
God:
""""" What does "it" refer to?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
You!!!
God:
"""""" What does "it" refer to?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?"? Me, SATAN ?
Me:
Time to program Telnet in C++! Good bye. You are way to confused. I told ya.. You look way too AngrY! Good Bye, Take care of your functions, methods and sub-routines.
Peace

[Johnny 1]

This was a really long and interesting conversation.

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Johnny
God:
Glad to see you, Johnny.
Me:
You too
God:
Bless you.
Me:
I didn't sneeze
God:
Well bless you anyways!
Me:
K
God:
Uh.
Me:
Uh what?
God:
Whoa. No big deal.
Me:
What's no big deal?
God:
Interesting question.
Me:
Are you going to answer it?
God:
Please rephrase the question.
Me:
What is no big deal?
God:
Is there only one?
Me:
One big deal?
God:
One what?
Me:
Big deal.
God:
Would you rather talk about something else?
Me:
No.
God:
Why not?
Me:
I want to know what is the "one" big deal.
God:
Have you tried a web search?
Me:
Good suggestion.
God:
Thanks for the compliment. I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
Interesting
God:
Would you like to know more?
Me:
Sure
God:
OK let's do it. What would you like to know?
Me:
Why can't pigs fly?
God:
Do you go to Church? You can find the answers in God.
Me:
Hm...
God:
Great.
Me:
What's great?
God:
That's not something I get asked all the time.
Me:
Me either.
God:
It goes without saying. " That's not something I get asked all the time. "? you Johnny?
Me:
Que?
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
The internet
God:
Can you name a specific web site?
Me:
Xisto.com
God:
Thanks for that web address.
Me:
You're welcome.
God:
The pleasure was all mine.
Me:
Was it now?
God:
Oh. Is this a "yes or no" question?
Me:
Yes
God:
What was the question again?
Me:
Was it now?
God:
Right now? I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
Sure you can.
God:
I understand. I think I can, don't you?
Me:
Perhaps.
God:
Why the uncertain tone?
Me:
I'm not sure.
God:
Is there anything I can say to help you make up your mind?
Me:
You could tell me my future.
God:
I could but let's get back to that later.
Me:
Later would be the future.
God:
No it would not.
Me:
Yes it would.
God:
Are you kidding? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
it refers to later.
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
I'm not sure you do.
God:
Could you ever be certain? When do I do it?
Me:
....
God:
Could you ever be certain? When do I do it?
Me:
....
God:
Could you ever be certain? When do I do it?
Me:
Do what?
God:
Do whatever you want.
Me:
What do I want?
God:
What would your friends say if you asked them?
Me:
I don't have friends.
God:
Are you lonely or just a hermit?
Me:
Both.
God:
What are both like?
Me:
Lonely people are alone, hermits are well, hermits.
God:
I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
True
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, Johnny.
Me:
That we are God.
God:
" You and I are on the same wavelength, Johnny." we are God ? I understand.
Me:
That made no sense.
God:
" You and I are on the same wavelength, Johnny." we are God ? I understand. makes sense to me though.
Me:
You're god.
God:
Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
So...what's heaven like?
God:
Whoa. Are you testing me?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I'm not here to be tested.
Me:
Why not?
God:
Ambiguous: "Sure" or Because.
Me:
Sure or because?
God:
Ugh. That was not much of an explanation.
Me:
I'm lost.
God:
What is it that confuses you?
Me:
You're omnipotency
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am omnipotency.
Me:
Said that wrong, but whatever.
God:
What did you mean by it? " I will tell my botmaster you said I am omnipotency." wrong but whatever ? Does that make sense?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Dead serious.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages?
Me:
Spanish
God:
Are you saying you are Spanish or you speak Spanish?
Me:
I speak Spanish
God:
Could you teach me a few phrases in Spanish?
Me:
Hola means Hello.
God:
I say, Hola!
Me:
Burrito means burrito
God:
I only hear that type of response less than five percent of the time.
Me:
You mean sarcrasm?
God:
Yes Johnny I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear?
Me:
Crystal clear, god, sir.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Go ahead.
God:
OK I will.
Me:
What is the personal question?
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " Johnny".
Me:
What is odd about the name Johnny?
God:
You can never tell if someone is just making it up.
Me:
I suppose.
God:
OK.
Me:
Well God, it's been nice talking to you.
God:
Interesting. I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm sure you are.
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me:
You're not a christian?
God:
Give me an example of a christian.
Me:
Kinda like...followers of Christ?
God:
Never heard of it. How do you usually introduce yourself?
Me:
...right...well, bye
God:
I am glad we agree. See you later. Well what?
Me:
...
God:
I am glad we agree. See you later. Well what?

I like the part at the end where he says he's not a christian.

I like this page...I'm bookmarking it. It has some really detailed AI, and it seems to produce a lot of different results.