He Drives Me Crazy Arhhh

[Jesse 0]

Well I have been going out with a guy called Ricky for about 9 months now and we had a loving and caring relationship, yes if your wondering I am gay and I am NOT ashamed to admit that. Cause I dont see there being any difference between my sexual preference and yours.Well anyway, I just had my birthday recently and Ricky pleaded with me to get a nose ring and he was paying for it as part of my birthday gift. Well I was really relucant, but I done it anyway. Cause sometimes when you love someone so much you do things just because you want to make them happy.So a few days later he started going off his brain because I got it done. I tried to explain to him the only reason it got done was because of him and he didnt care.We are now having a break in our relationship over a stupid nose ring. I told him that I would take it out and he said and I quote: "If you take it out then it means you have never loved me"Like what am I surpost to do in a situation like this except to call for time out. Like no matter what you do in a relationship - nothing is ever good enough. Well that is what I am finding anyway.I am hoping that one day I will meet someone that wont be like him. Cause he can and does something get a little violence. But he is my first real love, so I cant just turn my back on him. Even though I really want to, I just cant do it.Well I hope things will work out in the end cause I do really love him. But if it doesnt then I am going to be so heart broken it isn't funny and I will not know what to do with myself and my life if I dont have Ricky in it.

[shadowdemon 0]

interesting he is such a man. Talk to him and sit him down and talk to him. God im such like a theripist (a real bad one)

[OCAC 0]

Sorry, stop me if I am wrong. He suggested you should get a nose ring, and he went half on it? Now he is complaining? Get away from him as quick as you can. He is manipulating you and abusing the trust you put in him. Especially if this your first "proper" relationship and you are more vulnerable, you also have to protect you. If he does not value you, he is not worth touching you. And aggression is NO base for a relationship. NEVER. He beats you or is aggressive and you are out of the door - as much as you think you love him and as much as he makes you feel good in those other times and it does feel so good. GET AWAY. Have respect for yourself. If he beats you, he does not have any love or respect for you. Never. You are worth more. You will find a better man, whom you can trust and the mutual enjoyments will be better as well. Trust me.Good luck and lots of strength, because you will need it. But you also have it in you. Admitting here is the first step in the right direction. Don't get sucked by him into dependencies that are not making you stronger - he exploits you, plays with you. But you can step away. If you have doubts like this step away. there are 2 billion man out there. about 15% are gay that makes 30,000,000. and that are just those that admit they are gay (-:

[Jesse 0]

Yeah I know you are right. And I spoke with him this morning. I told him I asked some people I knew for advice and I cant actually say what he said on here. I think I would get myself banned or something.But I told him that our relationship was over and it would never be there again. The trust I had in him has gone. The love is still there though.Dont get me wrong. It did hurt doing this. It hurt so much that I cried for 3 hours after I done it. And I am still extremly upset now. I am wondering now if I done the right thing or not.He keeps trying to call me on my mobile (cell phone) and I keep rejecting his phone calls. I think if I talk to him again I might just change my mind. Which really is something that I can not do.But I am afraid that he will turn up at home and cause all sorts of problems. I am so unsure. But its too late to turn back now. :'(

[sandbox 0]

I'd say you did the right thing. It took a lot of strength to do it, so good for you.I had to get out of an abusive relationship recently too. Sometimes the abusiveness really sneaks up on you and these people are so good at manipulating you and feeding your guilt, especially if you truly care about them. Just think how much harder it would have been to leave the situation if you had waited for it to get worse--the longer you wait the less self-respect and grip on reality you have. Sooner or later it's off to Jerry Springer with you. But not for you my friend. No Jerry Springer for you. That's (probably) a good thing. p.s., I really hope he doesn't show up at your home, but if he does stay strong. You did the right thing.

[Sprnknwn 0]

You did what you had to do. That relationship wouldn?t have led you anywhere. That nose ring story says it all. Your ex-boyfriend was a possesive person and he would have made whatever he wanted with you. That?s not good. I know that love is really blind and when you fall in love with someone you tend to justify everything that he does, although it hurts you. I'm glad you listened advices from people in the forum, most of people in your situation don?t pay atention to other people because they are usually so subordinated to his mate... you acted properly. Congratulations, you?ll feel sad, angry, insecure for a few days but I?m sure you?ll find someone soon with a better heart that will give it to you.

[OCAC 0]

Of course love hurts. You loved that man after all. And you should be pleased that you have it in you to love. That is a very good characteristic. Being able to love makes us human makes us lovable and understanding and caring and good company. Treasure you feelings. But respect yourself as well. In an abusive relationship the abuser lives on your love and because you love him he has you in your pocket.Luckily you didn't get pregnant (-:

[Jesse 0]

Well its done and over with 100% now. He did turn up at my door step. And I refused to let him side. So he broke a window and came in. The good thing was my neighbour who lives right next door and new what was going on called the Police. He was taken away and arrest. There is now an order in place saying that he cant come within 200 metres of me. Oh my god ... what have I done? I didnt want things to go this far ... I just wanted to be treated right. But I know that the right thing was done. But hell why does love have to be so darn well complicated?

[sandbox 0]

okay. Again, right on! I'm so glad you're neighbor was looking out for you, but it sounds like you handled him showing up at your door perfectly. The restraining order is a good thing to have, even though I know you don't want to have to use it. It's clear from his behavior that you may need it. You might want to switch your cell phone number too, but depending on the situation that might not help.

[OCAC 0]

I am glad for you it is over with! Smashing windows and restraining orders - you had a lucky escape.

 

But hell why does love have to be so darn well complicated?

185936[/snapback]

Ahhh the errors of youth...

 

btw I made a calculation error in my earlier post. 15% of 2 well now there are really more like 2.5 billion men anyway is 375,000,000 that is three hundred and seventyfive million men that are gay.

 

I bet you wil be lucky again! Enjoy your freedom savely!

[Jesse 0]

Thank you everyone for your advice and help during this time. I know that I am only new here, but I bet I can make some good friends here also. See you all around the boards

[kaylanicole 0]

he's manipulating you and you definitely do not need that! you went through the pain of getting a nose ring (ouch!) because he wanted you and then all of a sudden he doesnt like it?! well, you just go up to him and take out that nose ring and tell him that you loved him and would do anything for him, but not anymore! you don't need him and he doesnt deserve you! then storm off dramatically. he should be the one ashamed and sad, not you. he lost a wonderful loving person so let him be the one wanting you back