Unstable Emotional Life Is it me or maybe none understand me?

[sonorama 0]

Well, it seems pretty simple: I dont like long terms - Relationships. I am very in the 'casual' thing, you know, casual sex, or maybe a bit more than that but not the so called 'formal relationship'. Most of girls I have dated dont like the idea of getting involved with someone who just looks for casual sex. That might represent a proble for most girls in the world, but I guess you cant force a relationship, imagine you saying 'well, she's my girlfriend' when you just met her a night before on your bed.... I may be wrong but I believe I'm just a bit affraid of serious relationships... I dont like people beinmg possesive, and most of my exGFs were quite possesive...is it me or just not good understood by the rest?

[guangdian 0]

oh.sometimes man are not the same as woman.now what do you think the idea that girls like?

[clho5973 0]

I guess it's because you are still young. Let me guess. You are less than 30 years old. You can say " I dont like long term relationship." You are not matured enough to deal with problems that may occur in the long term relationship. I am a 35 years old woman and I can proudly tell you that I have a wonderful marriage. My husband say he loves me more and more. When I got married four years ago, I am not sure what kind of life I throw myself into. I am afraid of situations that might happen and I won't be able to control it. Yes, things may not go well as we wish for but we have to have the courage to turn things around. The most important thing is to meet the righ person but not the best person because the best one might not be suitable to you. Just remember"When true love comes to your door, you open your arms to embrace and treaure it."

[Joer 0]

Hey sonorama,

Your post is quite interesting for me. It reminds me of myself when I was young(er) je je Here are a couple of thoughts.

sometimes man are not the same as woman

This is definetly true. Some have even concluded that men and women are from different planets. And definetly girls and boys look for different things in their lives, not only in their expectations related to the opposite sex.

I guess it's because you are still young.

I definitely agree. The younger you are the fastest you want to get what you seek. And the less likely to really enjoy profound reflection on any matter, not only romantic stuff.

You are not matured enough to deal with problems that may occur in the long term relationship.

I don't think I agree with this completely, particularily if it is arithmetically inferred from your age. I mean, it's true that if you are mature you are better prepared to "deal with problems in a long term relationship." However, there are people that are quite mature at 18. And people that are quite immature at 50.

Besides, I can tell you that there are both mature and immature girls and boys both looking for long or short term relationships.

Now, no matter how experienced a person is, understanding the other sex is always difficult. Increasingly harder depending on how long lasting your terms are. That is: if you are only into getting some sex for a weekend, understanding the other sex is relatively easy and minimally important because only superficial understanding is required. If you want to have kids with someone it is much more difficult and extremely important, because you will be dealing with very profound and sometimes hidden factors. This is probably why most younger people prefer short term relationships.

it seems pretty simple

Well, no. It does not seem simple. It IS as simple as that. You may be mature enough but you are simply not interested whatsoever. That is it.

I may be wrong

IMHO you do not have reason to feel uncomfortable with this. You are not wrong or right. You are only trying to be yourself and I think this is more important than having sex or not, or a long term relationship or not.

If one day you feel like having a long term relationship, it is not going to be because you are a boy or a girl. Nor because you are either mature or immature. It is going to be because you ARE the right person for that particular girl that makes you feel you want that kind of relationship. If you are prepared or not is matter of a different discussion.

Joe
Mexico

[rvovk 0]

Well, take your time. Everything in life is quite relative. Not all girls are possesive nor all guys are from Mars. What I am trying to say it is that you must find your match. Like clho5973 has said, when true love will come you will know that this is it. Until you won't feel fullfilled with your partners you will be searching for better match.Dealing with partnership and then children in your life isn't easy task, it is nice and delightful if you have right partner besides you. In other case if you haven't found your match and you have kids with her, then you might have problems in your life. So it is important to have loving and respectful relationship.About being mature, when you will feel for having relationship (longterm one), then you have choosen to be this way, hopefully, there is no garantuee for sucess in you relationship.My relationship lasted for almost five years, hoped for being with her forever, but she decided to leave. That the circle in life, things happens. It was great anyway to have beatiful 5 years with her. Still thinking of her after half year.It is time now for new one

[sonorama 0]

Wow!! Thank you guys, it is way cool of you to say all these words. I definitely think it is question of time, but I am not quite sure if it has to do something with age. For example, when I was younger (BTW, I am 28) I used to love to get involved with girls pretty much older than I was, and I also loved to have long.term relationships.Now it seems like it all has gone, my desire for those long term relations is definitely all gone. I dunno if it has to do with age, but sometimes I feel quite alone, and it makes me feel like starting a serious relationship at times, but then suddenly I regret about those thoughts and it stars over and over again :DWell, I guess I will have to deal with this situation a bit more. I might have forgot to mention that I am manic depressive, so that is probably one of the causes of these sudden reactions.Thank you guys again, I'll keep in mind all of your words :DCheers!

[The_Angel 0]

For example, when I was younger (BTW, I am 28) I used to love to get involved with girls pretty much older than I was, and I also loved to have long.term relationships.

 

Now it seems like it all has gone, my desire for those long term relations is definitely all gone.

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I think it happens because you might have had some deceptions in the past and now you try not to get involved to avoid suffering. Sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions here.