I Need Advice! please respond this is important

[Twilight-seraphim 0]

ok there's been alot of things goin' on between me and my friends or should i say one friend (source of the problem). I'm not puttin' any names so every1's name in this is fake (for personel reasons i'm not using the real names)the situation is this:Me and my friend Liz are both anime artists. well we arnt that good but the point is we both draw. well so does my other friend Laura. but anyways me, liz, laura, and racheal (other friend) have been going to the same little private school for all our lives. until this year, laura went to a different school but we still talk and get together w/ her. well at the beginning of this year i entered into an art show to make some money and sell my stuff. they let me in. then a week before the art show they called me and asked if they could interveiw me for the newspaper. i said ok cuz they were nice enought to let me sell my crap so what the hey ya kno! so they interviewed me and 3 days later they came to take some pics.in the article it said that i liked to draw my own characters and some that already exist and what not ect ect (it may seen point less but pay attention to this detail)so the day the paper came out was a school day. and people were comming up to me and stuff. so i was known as the anime artist of our little school. well little did i know that that day wrenched at liz's soul and made her extremely mad (o btw liz has a temper problem it might help to know this). but she never said anything about it she just smiled and went w/ the flow. as for racheal she didnt care cuz she doesnt draw or ne thing.well after that day liz just became more and more angry w/ me and i can tell because she would criticize me or make fun of me every chance she got. she even threw sticky tack in my hair and rosa (random classmate) had to scrape it out... that hurt like a *BLEEP*. but stupid naive me went along w/ it like one of her little jokes. in fact i went along with it for about 6 months.she never told me that it bothered her but i did kind of get the feeling that she really didnt like me... or in fact hated me. but it didnt dawn on me that she'd been talking behind my back to my friends. calling me an art theif because i supposibly "stole her style" if u ever saw our art u could see the difference w/ no problem it's like night and day. (i've had other people confrim that so it's not just me). i first learned that she'd been accusing me of that when i brought up the subject of my sister's friend stealing my character and passing it off as her own. Liz made a coughing/ ahem noise to laura and they both looked at me and snickered.again it was pointed out to me when a kid from my school was talking to liz while she was doodling. i overheard him mention me and she told him that i wasnt original and that she was the first to ever draw anime anyways. like that matters all anime dosnt belong to her anyways... that's likes saying CLAMP stole her art. (i'm not compairing myself to CLAMP i'm no where near their godly art skills).and thus it went on. i got a complement, she'd make fun of me or pull another prank. and i really didnt care i thot she'd get over it and everything would go back to normal.but it didnt.it just got worse. and i knew that they called me and art theif and stuff. the worst part was that they never had the guts to say it to my face. i'd accused sum1 of art theift b4 but at least i said it to his face, and it was all resolved a whole lot quicker.(but that story had a happy ending so dont worry)recently i told my friend Dan about this. he told me that amonth ago Liz told him the same thing and tried to convince him to help her. but he didnt belive her. he also told me tha laura hates everything that liz says about me and that she just wants it all to stop the only reason that she went along w/ it was because she fears liz and her anger problems. and racheal has nothing to do w/ it she just goes w/ the flow.and now hear i am. one day left of school and i'm never gonna see liz again cept when we all get together. but if this isnt resolved it'll just keep going on and on. but i dont wanna just leave it at that because i dont wanna just run away from my problem. but if i tell her how i feel she'll either yell at me so i cant finish or get even angrier and ruin all out plans w/ our other friends. but now that i kno the truth i can hardly even look at her w/out my stomach churning. i dont wanna say it's jealousy but if she really wanted that article then fine she can have it i dont care! i could still lived w/o the popularity heck i'd have alot less requests too! (btw this isnt the whole story. there is more incidents of pranks and mockery and such but i'n in a hurry)so what would you do if this happend to you? please respond i need help.thanx ( sorry for any misspellings im in a hurry)

[Tyssen 0]

If you're never gonna see her again or the people she associates with after school finishes I'd say just forget about it & her - life's too short to get hung up on stuff like that.

 

If you are still gonna see her and you don't want this to keep simmering then I'd just walk up to her and smack in the mouth - don't give her the chance to speak, just, WHAM, straight in the teeth. Make sure all her friends are around when you do it and as she's spitting out blood, tell her: "That's for spreading lies about me you...(insert expletive of your own choice)."

 

OK, maybe that's a bit extreme but people with 'anger problems' in my experience are just bullies. Bullying can be in various forms, not just physical. Her getting angry is one form, but also all the snickering & gossip is another form. The company I work for has produced 2 books on bullying and I can tell you now, she's got all the signs of being a first-rate bully.

 

The following is taken straight from one of those books:

If you have a friend who is bullying you, it?s best to cut this person off before

they do you too much damage. However, sometimes there might be a person

who is bullying you whom it will be difficult to cut off. Perhaps this girl is friends

with all your friends, or you see the person so often you know they?ll make your

life extremely difficult once you cut them off. You?ll know what the best course

to take is, and if you know you can?t cut a friend off completely for fear of retaliation,

just hold her at arm?s length. Disengage yourself from her slightly,

remain acquaintances with her, but try to become more closely acquainted

with other friends. This way you are not antagonizing her but you are stopping

her from affecting you so deeply.

 

So it appears there's no easy, quick fixes (unless you go for the smack in the mouth approach - sounds good, but not really approved of in sociology circles).

 

Notice from BuffaloHELP:

Since it was an excerpt from the sighted book, I have placed

tags.

Edited May 27, 2005 by BuffaloHELP (see edit history)

[quiksilver 0]

Who or what is CLAMP? (heh, I guess I am an art n00b?)If I were you I would completely ignore her and stop talking to her completely. Don't let her stand in the way of your success when you know damn well you didn't steal any style or ideas from her. She is obviously jealous I am surprised no one else see's it. As of now you should forget she's even there.

[Shoobi 0]

Aw you know.. I know how you feel.. And it does suck but there is only one thing to do if you want to maintain a friendship with her and I know it is not so easy but at least from my experience it has been so successful..You must confront her. Now I know your about to tell me.. 'shoobi! It is not so simple, she won't listen and will get mad' ... but here is what i suggest anway:just invite her to your house and if that doesn't work out, do it on the phone but prefferably in person.. and tell her [without raising your voice or being self rightious].. look liz, you are a good friend to me [insert how close you are or something like that] and I think there is a block in our friendship. And please dont be mad because the only reason i am confronting you is because I love you so much and I don't want a broken friendship with you. Please tell me what is going on for you and I promise i will listen patiently...if you tell her something along those lines.. calmly and with love.. She will have to tell you and if she still does not open up, i'm afraid you may have to share what you have heard"look, i have heard from some people that you think I stole you ideas." and talk to her about it. Maybe she felt like she was the first person to do manga and then it was you and you are getting all this popularity when it was her idea?.. well the truth is you don't really know what shes thinking unless you talk to her. And it will take some courage to confront her but i think if you do it you wont regret it .. One of my best friends and I are so so close and i think it is because we are so honest with eachother and we have never fought because we tell eachother everything straight away and resolve it so there is no bitterness because we wont stop until it is complete. Good luck with your friend and please PM me or something if you decide to take on my advice and tell me how it goes - Shoobi

[OhMyBosh 0]

Kick her *bottom*. I'm kidding, but why on Earth would she get jealous over you being in a paper. I'd be happy for you. Confront her, but this only works half the time.

[Twilight-seraphim 0]

If you're never gonna see her again or the people she associates with after school finishes I'd say just forget about it & her - life's too short to get hung up on stuff like that.

 

If you are still gonna see her and you don't want this to keep simmering then I'd just walk up to her and smack in the mouth - don't give her the chance to speak, just, WHAM, straight in the teeth. Make sure all her friends are around when you do it and as she's spitting out blood, tell her: "That's for spreading lies about me you...(insert expletive of your own choice)."

 

OK, maybe that's a bit extreme but people with 'anger problems' in my experience are just bullies. Bullying can be in various forms, not just physical. Her getting angry is one form, but also all the snickering & gossip is another form. The company I work for has produced 2 books on bullying and I can tell you now, she's got all the signs of being a first-rate bully.

 

The following is taken straight from one of those books:

 

If you have a friend who is bullying you, its best to cut this person off before

they do you too much damage. However, sometimes there might be a person

who is bullying you whom it will be difficult to cut off. Perhaps this girl is friends

with all your friends, or you see the person so often you know theyll make your

life extremely difficult once you cut them off. Youll know what the best course

to take is, and if you know you cant cut a friend off completely for fear of retaliation,

just hold her at arms length. Disengage yourself from her slightly,

remain acquaintances with her, but try to become more closely acquainted

with other friends. This way you are not antagonizing her but you are stopping

her from affecting you so deeply.

So it appears there's no easy, quick fixes (unless you go for the smack in the mouth approach - sounds good, but not really approved of in sociology circles).

144533[/snapback]

well i've been trying what u put from ur book thing but it doesnt work. i've acctually been trying that for a while now and Liz'd just jump right back into somthing if she feels like she's left out even in the slightest bit.

 

as for the slapping thing that would definatly not work cuz as i forgot to mention... she's bigger than me... alot and i'm kinda scrawny so... that'd only end up in a frre trip to the hospital... her punches hurt too

 

Notice from BuffaloHELP:

Modified reply quotes to reflect the correct sighting.

Edited May 27, 2005 by BuffaloHELP (see edit history)

[FuChelle 0]

I know how you feel. I had something similar happen to me in 6th grade. One of my friends got jealous of me because I got asked to teach the class for 1 art lesson and got all this attention from it. I don't really see what her problem was because she was never really good at or intrested in art anyway...but after that she started spreading around stories about me, she turned all my friends against me, she started copying my art style, and she even entered "her" work into competitions and won prizes off it then went around like 'look at me, I'm so good!'That went on for months until I got sick of it and just cut off all my friends completely and found new ones. In your case though, this may be a little hard if you want to stay fiends with your other friends.I think what I would do would be to try and talk to her like Shoobi said. Just confront her in a nice way that lets her know that there is a problem in your friendship, but you still like her and would like to work it out and continue to be friends.If that doesn't work, I think try and keep her at a distance but remain close with your other friends if you can. After seeing you with your other friends, she may come to her senses and come talk to you and want to be friends again...Although, if I were you I'd be asking myself if I really want to continue being friends with her. It sounds like she has become a real bully, and now that you've seen this side of her do you really think you could trust her and be good friends with her again?I know it's a really hard situation you're in. I hope you can work it all out soon.

[no9t9 0]

I would definately confront the person. This way, you everything will be out in the open. If you can't work things out, the next step is to cut this person out. If you have mutual friends this may be difficult. In life, you will lose some friends. It WILL happen for many different reasons. This is one of them. Having a fall out with one of your friends is not an uncommon thing. Again, try to work it out. If you try and it doesn't work, you will need to move on.

[SpartacusUSTASA 0]

You should talk with her. If she is a good friend then she would listen. If she still stays jealous and tries to make your image bad, then there is nothing you can do. She cannot change the way she feels, try telling her that you want to be friends with her and ask her why she is being very rude about the art thing. If she still doesn't change then there is nothing you can do. Maybe one day she will come to you.