CuM2cmU

cool cool. keep writing. i'm in the mood for more poetry.

run boy run BOY: hey, you new?GIRL: yeahBOY: cool. what's your name?GIRL: berlindaBOY: what a retarded name BEEP BOY: cool. what's your name?GIRL: silverBOY: that's such a beautiful name! so where are you from?GIRL: HervilleBOY: oh that school full of lezbos?BEEPBOY: that's such a beautiful name! so where are you from?GIRL: hervilleBOY: cool. so how do you like this school so far?GIRL: it's okay I guess. there are so many hot guys, I'm so horny right now.BEEP BOY: cool. so how do you like this school so far?GIRL: it's okay I guess. there are so many hot girls, I'm so horny right now. BEEPBOY: cool. so how do you like this school so far?GIRL: it's okay I guess. BOY: hehe. so chemistry class is a *BLEEP*, ain't it?GIRL: excuse me, I believe that the unification of the Newtonian physics with the quantum physics is the most important step to be taken by the humankind. and this chemistry class is a huge stepping stone for me to achieve such a history altering achievement. so if you don't like chemistry, please *BLEEP* off. BEEPBOY: cool. so how do you like this school so far?GIRL: it's okay I guess. BOY: hehe. so this chemistry class is a *BLEEP*, but the teacher is great.GIRL: it seems like so. BOY: so what kind of music do you listen to?GIRL: emm...nirvana, NIN, bush, radiohead, you?BOY: oh, handel and bach BEEPBOY: garth brooks BEEP BOY: backstreet boys BEEP GIRL: emm...nirvana, NIN, bush, radiohead, you?BOY: I like the same bands!GIRL: that's awesome!BOY: so did you see that new movie with spice girls?BEEP BOY: so did you see that new movie with charles heston?BEEPBOY: so did you see that new movie with Edward Norton?GIRL: no, I haven't yet, but it seems to be really good.BOY: yea, it received great reviews. GIRL: are there any good theaters that we can both go to and sit in the way back to suck each other's faces?BEEP BOY: yea, it received great reviews. I know a good theater that we can both go to and sit in the way back to suck each other's faces. wanna go?BEEPBOY: yea, it received great reviews. hey, I'm just curious, are you free this Saturday night?GIRL: no, I have a gynecologist appointment BEEPBOY: yea, it received great reviews. hey, I'm just curious, are you free this Saturday night?GIRL: yea, actually. BOY: i know a good theater that we can both go to and sit in the way back to suck each other's faces. wanna go?GIRL: sounds great! and afterwards, we can go over to your place to engage in wild and unprotected hot, wet sex. but then I will be pregnant with your kid, and through ultrasonic testing, we'll discover that our child will only have 6 fingers and 7 toes then regret our decision for the rest of our lives. and we'll be so miserable and depressed that we'll end up killing the baby, then shooting our brains out with a 12 gauge shotgun. so I don't think it's a great idea to go to the theater. BOY: I agree. BEEPBOY: yea, it received great reviews. hey, I'm just curious, are you free this Saturday night?GIRL: yea, actually. BOY: I know a good theater around here, if you aren't too busy, would you like to go see the movie with me this Saturday night?GIRL: sounds great! and afterwards, we can go over to your place to have the most romantic candle light dinner. then we can make love to each other that we will never forget for the rest of our lives. we'll fall deeply in love with each other, than in 5 years we'll get married. we'll have two children. one boy and one girl. they'll grow up to be a novel laureate and a Hollywood actress. they'll be millionaires and they'll support us for the rest of our lives. we'll be happy forever with each other, and on that faithful last day of our lives, we'll fall asleep forever in each other's arms while I whisper your name. so what time do you want to go?BOY: *BLEEP*, i just remember that my brother is getting circumcised on saturday night. BEEPBOY: yea, it received great reviews. hey, I'm just curious, are you free this Saturday night?GIRL: yea, actually. BOY: if you aren't too busy, would you like to go see the movie with me this Saturday night?GIRL: hey, that sounds great. what time?BOY: does 7 sound fineGIRL: yepBOY: oh by the way (sticking the hand out), name's Bruce.

perfection there you are, with a pen in your hand. drawing, creating fantasy on that white paper. slouching on the wooden chair, within my arm's length, you, i dare not touch. you, perfection, lips, only a coffee breath away, are surrounded by the quintessential aura. mesmerized by the movement of your hands, i let the barking noises of the hippies drown. afraid to look into your eyes, i only steal a glimpse. a chicken without a head, i am; running around aimlessly, diving into madness, i am lost without you. a dream, i dream; this is all a dream. as you stand up in hunger, i wake up, confused, maybe sad. but i try to smile. indelible it's beautiful but cold; like you. there's the sunlight, shining onto me, though no longer smiling on me. do not weep for me - for i am nothing. collapsing onto your inescapable smile, i am forever motionless; maybe dead or trapped inside your indelible eyes. cry for me - for i am yours. stranger it will be all a dream - you and i. next time our eyes meet, we'll be strangers; oblivious to the past's happiness and pain (as if we never held hands; as if we never kissed; as if we never lived). our next kiss will be the first kiss again. being perfect strangers, we'll be free. alone he told me not to listen to dashboard when sad; not really depressed but i still shouldn't listen to them. just because. sitting in the middle of the campus, watching everyone walk by as if i don't exist, i am comfortable. even with chris carabba blasting through my puny laptop speakers, i fail to receive even a glimpse. for today, it's okay. everything's okay. just for one day, just for today, i'm not here. running maybe upset maybe sad maybe tad mad maybe lost maybe i just don't want to be here amongst the annoying ignorant minds surrounding me smothering me killing me or maybe i'm just in a passing phase but i do not yet know how long it will last as i can't even figure out where i am where i am standing where i am breathing where i am dying where my eyes are wet with the unnecessary tears shed with no real meaning but all i can do is sulk here as there is nothing i really want to do or say or live or read or write or run to in this cold and humid and sticky and most unpleasant winter night where the sweat full of chemicals mix with the tears to give its vomit inducing taste. airport bum my life: crouching on the bar stool, sipping a coke through a chewed straw, puffing a cigarette; simple. as i push the last drag down my lungs, my coke is still here; should i smoke another? why not. this is my life; life as it should be; life as it is. who's this asian teenager with a prepped leather jacket and white button down shirt, crossing his legs on the table as if he's the only one that matters. that's me. that's my life slide-showing in front of your eyes. in this moment of perfection, life ending minute by minute, i am invincible: life away from the past; life before the future; life as now and forever. i've chosen mine; choose yours.

i don't care about the acidic taste in my mouth i want a girl who's too sad to give a *BLEEP*: conor oberst sang through my speakers. with the blurry stars shining on my dry face, i, again, am alone. tonight, i vomit acid from my empty stomach only to realize i'm not as empty as i feel. i pull out a cigarette to rid this vinegar taste from my mouth; its molecules seep too deep into my pores. now, i comfortably collapse onto the cold concrete. as i vomit again, my lunch chokes my lungs; i can't breath but i am too relaxed to care. with a half-burnt cigarette next to me, my lungs implode. i'm too happy now. or too sad.

the false security of our sand castleam i different or unique? she never answered me; then again she was always quiet. there was something about this girl; in silence, she seduced everyone. maybe that's why i'm here. she just kicked me; she?s not too happy that i took all the blanket. with monday morning breath, i lean over and kiss her anyway. she makes this weird grunting noise and turns away. it's 6:39am; better get ready for school. get your *bottom* up. she doesn?t move. we?re gonna be late. another grunting noise and she stretches. i roll off the bed and pick up the condom while making sure nothing leaks out of it. somehow, we are both in the car by 7:15am. i try to put brick by ben folds five on, but too *BLEEP*ing depressing, she says. well what do you want / dunno / you pick one then / nirvana / isn?t that too heavy for 7 in the morning? / no. as usual, she wins. smells like teen spirit; *BLEEP* that, it smells like *bottom* in my car: maybe i should quit smoking. we don?t say a word: maybe we are immersed in music or maybe we just have nothing to say. then she breaks the comfortable silence: your parents coming back next monday? / yea / so we have the house to ourselves again this weekend? / well i might throw a party. i think my parents finally realized they are going through a mid-life crisis. suddenly, out of the blue, my parents flew to the bahamas for two weeks, leaving my little brother at my uncle?s house. freedom: this is the taste. snow-covered roads usually annoy me, but today, they?re almost soothing. with the snow reflecting the sunlight, i have to squint my eyes; damn the man, danny, who stepped on my oakleys. silly boy/ what? / your eyes look funny / well you try to look at the snow and drive / suck it up / how old are we / you have a funny face / we match. i don?t remember the last time we had a real conversation. today, her hazel eyes are blue with the sweater; she looks cuter than usual. with my red button-down shirt i bought from goodwill, we strangely match in a contrasting way. my silver necklace ? the birthday present from her for $19.95 - provides a nice touch against my black t-shirt underneath. why are you looking at me like that / i think i?m falling in love with you. that one definitely took her by surprise. she, again, dove into her patented silence; i should have kept my mouth shut. a little slip and the car crashed into a tree; i don?t think there was enough salt on the road. i think i was crying when an old man with freakishly long hair helped me out of the car. was she in pool of her blood or my blood? was i screaming and crying like a little girl? i don?t know; it?s all a blur. i just want to sleep for now. it?s hard to tell with the old pa system but the principal is saying something about holding a memorial service for her. i think that?s making me cry again. this is my first day back at school and every shitter either looks mad or sad: some say murderer and some say it?s not your fault; i just want to say shut the *BLEEP* up. the school psychologist pages me. he tells me to talk: let it all out. he has a dumb comb-over with glasses too big for his head; i can?t trust anyone who wears a pink shirt and a green tie. are you having any alcohol or drug problems? is he for real? lots of people turn to them when they are grieving and i understand that. i don?t think he understands i?m not everyone. i?m different. or unique. though i?ll never know which now. what are you thinking right now? / i think you are being paid so that i don?t kill myself / are you thinking of suicide? / no / talk to me / about what / anything that?s on your mind. doesn?t he get that i?m tired of crying? do you miss her?i miss her silence. she talked through her eyes: sometimes with the looks of sadness, asking me to hold her, or once in awhile, that kiss me right now look, wanting to *BLEEP*. it?s hard to tell but i got used to it. but of course, i don?t tell him this, not with his nose hair hanging out. i have to use the bathroom and it?s going to be a long one; can i leave now?walking home alone is the hardest part; silence without her is too awkward. the crunchy snow is my only companion today. my palm pilot says it?s been 151 days since i kissed her. i took her right next to the george washington bridge from the new jersey side, where you can see the entire lower manhattan; in that pitch darkness, it?s a kodak moment. can i kiss you / no / can i kiss you / no / can i kiss you / no / please / no / why not / because / can i kiss you / no, then she leaned over and kissed me; her taste lingered on my lips all night. i think i can still smell her; it was infinite. i have to stop reminiscing and get a life. when i was a kid, i loved building sand castles: that was a rare moment where she spilled what was on her mind; it was my queue to shut my trap and let her talk. this one time, my father and i made this huge sand castle: she spoke of her dead father; that might have been the key to her eyes. next morning, i woke up and it was washed away. i cried. / well, you can come to my castle one day / funny / no, when i?m a multi-billionaire, i?m going to build a castle / funny / you just wait and see / great. i shouldn?t have opened my mouth; she was back to her one-worded sarcastic responses. 2am eastern standard time, with that salvador dali calendar above my head, i can?t sleep; i know how the narrator from fight club felt. my right arm, where she used to fit, feels empty. rolling around, trying to find that comfort spot, glycerine by bush fills the room: i?m never alone, but i?m alone all the time, gavin rossdale says. the speakers hang right above my bed, and i am inside the music. with the perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky, choke by chuck palahniuk, and emporium by adam johnson, it?s hard to decide which to read tonight. i look outside my window, and suddenly, i must go. 3am, i steal my parent?s silver accord and start driving. where to? it doesn?t matter. one time, i kissed her and she tasted like chocolate; i liked that. i stop at dunkin? donuts for coffee and bagel. the speedometer points at 115mph; relaxed, in a dream state, i fly through the buildings and trees surrounding (protecting) me. trapped inside the metal, alone with my music, comfortably i?m driving.4am, i?m near the shores; i wonder if it?s just a coincidence or some subconscious *BLEEP*. and of course i start building my first-ever sand castle. it?s freezing but i?m already numb: comfortably numb by pink floyd ? that was our song. i learned how to play it on my guitar but i never got to play for her; it just hit me that i never will. that makes me sad. in half an hour or so, i finish my horse *BLEEP*; i?m too embarrassed to call that a castle, but the effort counts. this is where i would invite her to live in my castle with me - the picture perfect, over-romantic moment of the anticipated kiss. maybe it was love; maybe not. under the ephemeral glimmers of the dawn, the ocean is washing our sand castle away. i?m crying, but over the ruins of the past, what we build could be anything.

rather than a mod, we call it a custom game.

Family Guy is definitely on the top of the list. Alias and Scrubs are #2 and #3 on my list. Jennifer Garner is just way too hot, and Zach Braff is my hero (amazing writer/director/actor!)

oh gee....ipod with video would sell like hot chocolate on a day like today.

i say psp since ps games are generally better. (oh come on. ff7 on ps?)

it wasn't a harddisk. i'm sure it was a flash memory card. they've been really really converging memory with everyday products lately.

smoking

New York Rangers. I bleed red white and blue.

for CMU this is so true: sleep, sex, study choose two. i've chose sleep and sex. i have to start studying more. all i can ever say about CMU is that it's so hard. and so much work .

born in Korea, but living in NJ, but going to college in Pittsburgh

any pink floyd song. period. but to be specific: echoes