Is it true that people dont change. the same way leopards dont change their spots. hmm. Well I dont know about relationships that much but i know enough about men to know that men dont cheat because they are serial cheats but mainly because the world has other men. A friend of mine has always said to me, if you were stuck on an island with two girls and there was no hope for rescue. One girl was the a real stunner, with perfect figure and a gorgeous face but a real snobby attitude and an ugly minger who was willing and up for it, which one would you go for. Remeber theres no hope of rescue so no one will know which one you went for except you. I though about it for a while then realised that while it was instant reaction to say I'd go for the hottie, in practice because there was no one to brag about my conquest to, it would be sooo much easier to go for the weaker target.This is not reflective of the male populatiion as a whole but a fair percentage of the males on earth. It is not worth cheating on your missus unless theres someone to boast about it too. Before my fellow males start arguining and telling me I know very little about what I am saying bear in mind that most men cheat because of peer pressure. infact most of our life is dictated by peer pressure. Peer presure is not pressure from friends only. Peers can be society or work mates or parents anyone we realte to. Take a look at Fashion, no one comes out and says thongs are now in fashion so every girl should wear a thong with low cut jeans but as we see whats around us we start to conform to that and slowly we adapt and follow what our peers say. The same applies with men and sleeping around. We are sat in a bar having drink and Tonde says "Look at that waitress serving in the corner table, her skirt is hugging her figure you can almost see every curve. Oh my god if only I could."To which Jason will respond amid the laughter, "You mean the Polish Waitress, hehe shes called Agna. Hey Dumie. Tell Tonde how she is in bed."To which Dumi will at first fein his gentlemenhood by not wanting to kiss and tell but the fellas will say oh come on tell us , tell us and then Dumie will go into details of the night of passion he shared with Agna and about all the naughty dirty little things she did or does in the bedroom. Slowly each other guys will tell of their comaprable conquests with waitresses from around the town or afar and perfectly married Simba will sit there listening and hearing these exciting things which happen in the no strings attached sex world. No one will say to him you are dumb for being faithfull neither will anyone mention that he is married and faithfull. Even Thomas who is married 12 years next month will throw in a wild conquest with an asian waitress in York on a Robert's Stag Do. What happenes slowly over the conversation will be references to persons eg. Tonde says, "I remember the time I got a girl who was so randy we did it in the toilet of a busy night club. I remember she was with another guy but we kept starring at each other across the bar. And It was all so hot and exciting. She even had him give me his back in a cuddle so she could blow me kisses. I remember when I went putside for a smoke she followed me and asked for a lighter. THen gave me her checky kiss on the cheek and whispered Girls toilet in five. I couldnt believe my luck boys. it was like i was in a movie. I remeber thinking what the ffffff.""what the F ... did you do it or not. Or you got cold feet. but Then your mr easy targets in the cubicles arent you?" One of the lads will say. "You know me, I dont ever turn down a chance to get religious." Tonde will pipe in nonchalantly."Religon ??? how does religion get involved in cubicle sex?" Simba would ask."You know how it is bro. You start calling out to God telling him you are coming etecetera etecetera." The lads all burts into laughter before Tonde will continue narating his version of events while sipping on the golden honey of intoxication. Ocasional laughter and snides will be thrown in by his friends and he will brush them off with such expertise his story remains untarnished. Eventually when he finished telling of his tryst, Rodney will pipe in and say "Thats nothing, I had a threesome in the cubicle at Fuse night Spot and Simba was my look out man. Each guy will slowly over the course of the night outline their specialty and the night will fly by and before long the pub is closing as the guys cath their transport home. Simba goes home to his perfect marriage and is content with his marriaed life but cant help feeling left out of the earlier conversation with his mates. Not left out by his mates but left out of the references in the conversation. He thinks back to how the conversation had made references to threesome and mr Threesome was Rodney, Mr Cubicle quickie was Tonde, Dumie was the tryst champ when it came to quickies wiith Waitresses. Jason was happiliy married but constantly had no strings attached sex with single moms and hen party girls. No one made reference to happily married Simba. Obviously this will slowly eat away at him and he will want to be have his own angle on things. He will start to want his own angle and his own tryst to brag about after all who does not want their own fifteen minutes of fame.The seed has been planted. From this point its just a matter of time. Im just wondering though why people then feel pressured to do stuff thats not like them. Is it because of the inner child we have that wants to fit in and be like the others in the playing field? Anyone Know//??
I think theres more science and research to be done in terms of why men cheat than just a simple assuption based on your life experiences mandla. I have had men who cheated on me and men who used me to cheat on their wives. Before you jump to conclusions, I must say that men cheat simply to cheat. I doubt it has anything to do with them telling friends or becoming the encyclopedia for motorboating or spooning but the men cheat because they want to dminate as many females as they can possible dominate. i think its just an issue of wanting to know inside your heart that I've done Cindy, and Kate and Rianne and Susan and Kacey and Rose and Alexandra. Its more like a persona scroe card that you want to notch up and have a long resume or CV with all the girls you have had. I doubt very musch that man would ever be faithfull just to be faithfull. A MAn needs a good reason to be faithfull because their nature is not to be fautfull their anyture is to be a player and do very chick in the local area and abroad. I know this sounds harsh but I have met a couple of men in my life with very beautiful wive and kids but just couldnt keep their hands off the cookie jar. They would lie and manipulate any girl they so fancy and if she beleieves their story thay will sleep with her and give her false security and hope of a future they know very well doesnt and will probably never exist. Its as if men have a fantasy wourld in their heads or hearts or wherever that they want to ful fil but to do do need a real live woman to play the main female character so they lie and steal your heart and make you the damsel in distressof the fantasy castle they will storm and invade to win the snow white priness trapped insode. And As a girl we fall dfor this excitment and in the process of enjoying this real life dramam where you thinking wow I have a knight in shining amour we do not realise that we are actually a fantasy and when prince charming has finished with playing knight in shining amour he will return the props to the prop room of reality andf go back to his wife. When we realise that our film that we have been used to act the damsel for the last 7 months is not even going to make box office release let alone dvd release its too late. We have been used for sex and excitment and we have not an ounce of shame left or any leverage they walk out leaveing us heart broken and upset. It funny how men think that they can make excuses and give validations on why its acceptable for them to cheat and try to make us understna dthe reason behiond their cheating yet the reality if that they are just animals wanting to copulate with every woman they possibly can. Wierdky enought though they dont want their woman copulating with anyone other than them selves. is that not being two faced then? How can you want to be allowed to do this yet you wont let the victims do the same.Another reason is cause men are just not satisfied with a quiet life. They crave and desire to have drama and controvesy. The ilicit ness of an affair makes a man feel like a james bond, having to sneak around not getting caught just makes a man feel so good. I mean if the relationship is a secret then a man finds it so intriguing to run around behind his partners abck and to be chasing a skirt until he has got it and had it. After a while the novelty of the excitment is finished and the he has become used to it so he will probably mvoe on to a new girl and a new excitment. For ment it is even more intriguing when you are dicign with getting caught but not getting caught. if the wife almost catched you and you manage to get away with it, it s something to tell the lads. (oh my god this point validates mandla's point heheheh I didnt realise this but oh my god its so true.). The riskier the relationship the better it is for the guy. Its as if by dicing with death then the validity of the affair is even more resolved and strengthened. Its funny because they the men dont realise that whilst they are getting away with it everythign is fine and dandy bt what about the colleteral damage when they get caught. What about the mistress who didnt even know it was a mission impossible for the guy and has invested her emotions and feelings in you for real. How about the shame she feels when she realise she was nothing but a mistress or a side thing who would never be anythign more than just a side thing while the man was having his 007 mission. Do men realise that it messes up a girls head to realise that everythignt hat had been true and real fr the last 4 or 6 months and even maybe for some a year or more was just a game. All those dreams she was having of a family with you and a future were just a script ploy by a manupulating and cunning male who was after satisfying his ego and nothing else. Does the guy car that some of these girls on the side have a child and they leave scars on the child too. Because when you date a girl who has a child and things get serious and she introduces you to the child, the child too falls in love with you. Because most women with children will only date men who their children will accept too so normally if the kids love you the mom will do too. But then after your game is up you walk out on her and the kids and the kids are left wondering why someone they have grown to look up to and love has walked out on them. How many men will the kids see as a representation of a father or as a father figure. I believe that peer pressure is one of the reasons but I doubt its the only reason. if you look bck in time gone past men was allowed to marry mor ethan one woman yet woamna wasnt allowed the same. Even thoen when a man had multiple wifes he still went out there and did other girls otherwise how else would he find number 4 and 5 for his wife list. i doubt he would meet them in the street and marry them just for looks, he would have a full blown relationships that would become love and soon marriage. So Boys try again maybe we need a fully dedicated scientific research team that will deal only with finding the part of the brain that makes me be players.
No, if their friends aren't complete dirtbags that they would actually applaud to cheating. Gotta admit that those people do exist, though. Just wondering, but why is it that when a woman cheats, it's automatically assumed that it's because her man can't satisfy her or that she wanted sex otherwise, but when a man cheats, women have to go all mystic and make up some weird stuff to explain it. Why not ask someone that is cheating currently to provide a reason instead. Seems like a much more helpful way to find out. Of course they won't be completely honest with you, but you can find out things by paying attention to hidden language.
Could Friends Be The Reason Why Men Cheat
i think mandla and missy are both not talking objectively and just talking through their own learned experiences.mandla- you made very little sense except to acknowledge peer pressure. sure it can be an influence when you a teenager, but as we get older, we start to realize how peer pressure influenced our lives negatively, ultimately making us stronger to fight more for who we are and what we want to stand up against.missy- guys may have cheated on you in the past, but that isn't the root of the problem here. it's your inability to make wise choices for your own self. if you are going to be with a guy for any reason but the RIGHT reason, then they are not going to take you seriously. you have made a choice every single time to be with certain guys. you allowed certain types of guys in to your life for a reason. thinking you know how guys act just based on your inability to make smart decisions is not going to get you very far.bani- a agree with you. the best way to get to the bottom of things is to ask a cheater directly why they cheated. and you are right. they WILL lie. they are unreliable. that's why they cheat.now to answer mandla's question who i would choose to be with on a deserted island? i would try to get some three way action.....but that's just me...