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What Is Wrong With Me? Why cant I find love? Or at least like?


Mermaid711

Hey there. I've posted a topic similar to this one before, but I've changed since then. ALOT.Anyway, seeing as how it's been a year since I've been asked out by someone who I can legally date, I figured, maybe something is wrong with me.I don't think I'm extremely pretty, but not horridly hiddeous, just, you know, average. I am kind of an oddball I guess. I still play tennis, I still act, I still sing, I still am in band/colorguard. I've changed alot though, you know matured a bit. I'm in the top five percent in my class and in honest to goodness I don't think I'm all that different from the girls who get asked out all the time. I wear a happy look on my face, and try to seem confident. I've gotten a smaller waist, more womanly curves since my previous post, and niether seem to help.I guess this is starting to eat away at my self confidence a bit. I just don't know why I am not good enough for anyone. I get lead on all the time but then get ditched for some other girl. . . What can I do/change to fix this? I know guys shouldn't be that big of a deal to me, but I'm not happy with my status.


hanorotu

Maybe guys don't see you as a person to date. Maybe they just look at you like a friend. Try being more flirtatious and show that you are interested. That is the only advise I can give you for I am a guy.


anwiii

naw, i don't think so. when people start trying to fix their own selves, that is when the REAL problem will start to occur. this may not be what you want to hear, but the solution is to stop being self conscience. when you think you need to do something different in being yourself, you might attract the wrong guys for ya. so patience and time. you might want to think about who you want to date and be with on a serious level. it's a big ocean out there, but only a select few will fit the profile that you're looking for. if you DO find that person...just by watching and listening and he hasn't asked you out, ask HIM out. it's the 21st century. if you do get up the nerve, don't give any wrong impressions. i do agree that you may be viewed as a person to date. if that is true, you need to figure that out on your own. nobody can help ya except maybe your closest friend/s. in your picture, you look around 16 or 17. if under 18, heck....ask your parent. they will always know you best even if you don't think they do.

all in all though. be carefull out there. it's easy to get hurt. i didn't start dating til i was in my early 20's. dated 3 people my whole life. didn't kill me and it left me dating only the quality people *I* needed in my life to fullfill me. the drawback to that is less attention and loneliness and the wondering if there will someone out there for me. if i were to do it again, i wold do the same thing with no regret. i would sacrifice the negative emotional feelings(knowing who i am and the goodness i hold inside without insecurity) to open the door for only the best people to share a part of my life with.

you say you have changed. i hope for the better. that's all we can do for ourselves in this lifetime. change to make ourselves better people. change for OURSELVES. NOT for others. also, insecurities will rub off on others without you even knowing it. insecurities can do one of two things. make you unavailable, or attract the wrong people in your life. you don't want that. confidence is key and you can only gain that by knowing who you are and what you have to offer yourself and/or others who you meet.

now if you ask my opinion, you're too young to be thinking what others think about you. start focusing on what you think of your own self and start doing those things you are meant to do. relationships may be partly fullfilling when you are in one, but they don't make the world go round. there is more to consider in life that is a heck of a lot more important.

i tried to give a you a few angles to think about(not really knowing ya), but i'm an old fart. what do i know....

Maybe guys don't see you as a person to date. Maybe they just look at you like a friend. Try being more flirtatious and show that you are interested. That is the only advise I can give you for I am a guy.


onitenki

but u do know what they say about old farts. they may be old but they come with weathly of knowledge. everyone has their taste and everyone has their opinion. u want to be flirtous the only reason why they lead u on and ditch for some other girl was because there was no development of the so called "relationship" or lack ther of. u simply just need to give them that u are into them and make sure they know that. u dont want to be really really flirtly since that just makes you look like ur desperate. but makign someone special goes a long way i guess.



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