A Lot Of Wice Words If I could...

[hast-webben 0]

Hi,This is an very intresting discussion, or should I say exchange of expirence as this sounds better and more constructive than discussion.I'm not quit sure what kind of person that I am, but I've told that I have many emotionel conflicts, and that might depends of my past and at least my grown ups. And my biggest project is "How to learn to show feelings" and "How to learn to cry", or "Feelings for dummies" and "Crying for dummies".If you have an massive emotional wall or filter, how can you break it down and accept that even that you're a man, are you also allowed to both have feelings and to cry. But when I was growing up was these only an indication of weakness and not an force.So now my first question in this forum!How can I break down these walls? I really hope that someone else had something to give here.Again thanks for an great forumCheersJens

[d-and-d 0]

I know how you feel - and still have the same problem as well sometimes. Its perfectly normal to be upset and cry. You said that: -

when I was growing up was these only an indication of weakness

Do you mean that like me, you have trained yourself not to cry when you are upset?

[kokushta 0]

I believe you need someone to be very confident with you, so can share things, opinions and so.. and dont you just stay all day infront of the computer, if so i wish you luck to find someone, a good listener you can chat with..So if you got a best friend you both share things, try to share emotions and feeling and dont you ever be ashamed of what you feel, this way you respect yourself.And dont forget, DO WHAT YOU FEEL, I assure you, those walls will smashed down - forever!For my personal experince:The best cure I know, is love!

[d-and-d 0]

The best cure I know, is love!

Definately true. Find somebody who cares about you, or if things are really bad find somebody who will at least listen to you and let you rant and rave about how you feel. I know nothing about you, but I'm nearly 17 (and also a Christian which can help a lot sometimes), so appropriate people for me to talk to would be a youth leader at the youth group I go to, or a clergyman, priest, vicar (whatever you want to call them - they all to basically the same stuff, and should all be able to listen to how you feel.)

If the worst comes to the worst, post problems on here, if you're anonymous, then nobody can really hassle you about it, just don't use real names if other people are involved.

Listen to kokushta though - he's telling the truth - the best cure is love.

[hast-webben 0]

Definately true.  Find somebody who cares about you, or if things are really bad find somebody who will at least listen to you and let you rant and rave about how you feel.  I know nothing about you, but I'm nearly 17 (and also a Christian which can help a lot sometimes), so appropriate people for me to talk to would be a youth leader at the youth group I go to, or a clergyman, priest, vicar (whatever you want to call them - they all to basically the same stuff, and should all be able to listen to how you feel.)

 

If the worst comes to the worst, post problems on here, if you're anonymous, then nobody can really hassle you about it, just don't use real names if other people are involved.

 

Listen to kokushta though - he's telling the truth - the best cure is love.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's true and I agree 100%. But what if it's still are a problem? It's not always a girlfriend or life companion that is the solution, but it helps alot. Good friends in need and in trust is actually not the easiest to find, often do you find the bad ones who looks like good friends.

 

Cheers

Jens

[d-and-d 0]

It sounds like you have friends but they don't want to help you, or are unable to have the patience to listen to your problems. Making new friends is difficult, but one of the most important things is that the "coolest" people aren't necessarily the best friends. I learnt that a long time ago, and it's a valuable lesson.I don't what the problems in your life are (are there any specific problems or is it just generally life getting you down?) Talking to people can make you feel better if you have good friends (obviously bad friends aren't much use). However, a lot of the time they can ONLY make you FEEL better, and can't actually solve the problem.If you know of a problem in your life that you can't solve, post the SORT of problem (no need to post specifically, you can keep your privacy if you prefer) By "sort of problem" i mean is it a form of bullying (many adults complain of this at work), or a feeling of inadequacy, or just a general feeling of depression. That sort of thing. It would be easier to give advice if we had a vague idea of what the problem is. (However, if you're uncomfortable with the idea then just say so - I wouldn't want to push anybody)

[ansar1405241473 0]

The best cure I know, is love!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

many times what people experiance is not love, but infact its just lust, how does one know if it is love or lust?

 

will we ever be sure, can we ever be sure, but basically i dont think lust is the cure to anything, well except sexual needs, but thats it.

[hast-webben 0]

It sounds like you have friends but they don't want to help you, or are unable to have the patience to listen to your problems.  Making new friends is difficult, but one of the most important things is that the "coolest" people aren't necessarily the best friends.  I learnt that a long time ago, and it's a valuable lesson.

 

I don't what the problems in your life are (are there any specific problems or is it just generally life getting you down?)  Talking to people can make you feel better if you have good friends (obviously bad friends aren't much use).  However, a lot of the time they can ONLY make you FEEL better, and can't actually solve the problem.

 

If you know of a problem in your life that you can't solve, post the SORT of problem (no need to post specifically, you can keep your privacy if you prefer)  By "sort of problem" i mean is it a form of bullying (many adults complain of this at work), or a feeling of inadequacy, or just a general feeling of depression.  That sort of thing.  It would be easier to give advice if we had a vague idea of what the problem is.  (However, if you're uncomfortable with the idea then just say so - I wouldn't want to push anybody)

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I know that but I don't have much problems with privacy regarding surch problems, as I know that we're many who feels like this and then further is realation problems an standard in todays living. The best thing is to speak about it and then go on, and a part of it to see that you're not alone in this world who have problems. Here in sweden had they done a test about the best selling medecinal products and not quiet surpricing was it following:

 

1. Painkillers like Treo

2. Antidepresive

3. Nicorette (Stop smoking chewinggums)

 

What a world....!!!!

 

Cheers

Jens

[hast-webben 0]

Hi,I'll like to say to all who has supportet this forum that I would like to wish you all an warm and nice christmass and an happy new year. I really hope that 2005 would be an step in the right level to make this world happier and warmer to live in.See youCheersJens

[Soleq 0]

Since I rarely read long posts (including ones before my own post), I have to assume that the following has not been said. If it has, then oh well. The barriers are coping mechanisms. Thus, to deal with coping mechanisms, one has to face what is troubling to that specific person. If one clams up at the mention of holidays, then one must tread down memory lane back to his or her past holidays and face the experiences that make them uncomfortable. Since it's a lot easier to not say anything, the most basic solution is to just start talking. Tell what you feel, at the present. It can be so simple as "I feel sad." Then, talk about what makes you sad. It's a gradual process, and by no means does anyone expect to make a breakthrough during the first 15 minutes. As time goes by, you'll be able to express more accurately what you feel and what's making you feel that way.

[hast-webben 0]

Since I rarely read long posts (including ones before my own post), I have to assume that the following has not been said.  If it has, then oh well. 

 

The barriers are coping mechanisms.  Thus, to deal with coping mechanisms, one has to face what is troubling to that specific person.  If one clams up at the mention of holidays, then one must tread down memory lane back to his or her past holidays and face the experiences that make them uncomfortable.  Since it's a lot easier to not say anything, the most basic solution is to just start talking.  Tell what you feel, at the present.  It can be so simple as "I feel sad."  Then, talk about what makes you sad.  It's a gradual process, and by no means does anyone expect to make a breakthrough during the first 15 minutes.  As time goes by, you'll be able to express more accurately what you feel and what's making you feel that way.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I can't agree with you more, as it's often too simple to just deleare that you're feeling sad, but going into the kernel of why you're feeling sad is often more complicated, as at the first it can have more than one reason, and then does it also hurting to face the trouth, but when you had faced it then can you start to work with it.

[hast-webben 0]

Hi,It seemed like that this forum died, but I still think that the discussion if finished yet, and would like to keep it alive. Reason is that often or sometimes is it useful to meet others even online at Internet, and I even don't think that it's so worse to use a forum to that. So if any would like to talk about something then just add it, and then can we talk..:-)Have a nice dayCheersJens