Editing Help help my friend out

[carrot 0]

howdy y'all. my friend asked me to review a story she wrote for one of her classes. well i am not good at that. not good at all. so i thought that maybe if there were smart people on the internet (especialy Xisto, god i love this site) who would be so kind as to give me some editing remarks, that would be great. she said that she wrote this as kind of like a short story so that she could see what i think without reading an entire book. soo here it is.*BEGINING OF STORY*Why Snow Falls Back before the turn of time, there was a goddess named Eurynomus. That was the name she gave herself when she all of a sudden appeared in the pantheon. Eurynomus looked like she was a very strong woman who never faltered. When in fact, she was very emotional and was the only god or goddess to cry in front of the others. She had long, red hair, which was always tied up with a piece of cloth so that it wouldn?t distract her while she was idly watching things. She was the only god or goddess that didn?t have anything to reign over. Because of that, she was bored most of the time. One day, when she was feeling especially bored, she decided to avert her gave from Chac, the rain god, with whom she was secretly in love. She did so long enough to watch the earth people go about their daily lives. Being as emotional as she was, she became very concerned about the condition of the earth. Each one of the four seasons had something associated with them. Spring was associated with new birth. Summer had the blistering heat, found fun by most. Autumn had many beautiful colors. But winter, winter had nothing. The people and animals of the Earth had no work to do and no fun during the winter. All they could do was sit inside and be cold. The ground was frozen, the air was frozen, and everything was dead. Worst of all, Chac hated the cold so much, that he would sit inside his house and wait for the winter to end. Because of this, no rain fell for the entire season. Eurynomus felt bad for the people of earth, but, as a goddess, those things were matters too trifling to deal with. She eventually found herself under Chac?s window, watching him. Since it was winter, Chac merely sat wrapped in fur, sulking in a corner. Eventually, Eurynomus got very bored with just watching Chac. She decided she needed some work to do and would find something for the poor people of Earth.For all her smarts, she couldn?t figure out a gift to give the humans. She sat on a log outside her home, thinking. By the time she finally decided on something, fire, it had already been given by a different god. So Eurynomus started looking for another gift to give to the humans. It just happened to be winter again, and the Earth looked dull as ever. All during the last year, she had seen the people trading; now this was a very common practice but recently she had seen them trading something new. This new thing was small, round, and shiny. It was gold. Eurynomus laughed at this realization, looking around her and seeing the solid gold temple she was housed in. The strangest thing about this new item was that people would trade three or four of these shiny gold coins for a bushel of wheat or even a sheep. Much more then they were actually worth. Eurynomus was perplexed by this and started listening in to the peoples bargaining deals. She soon found out that the little gold coins were called ?money.? She was very perplexed about why these people needed something like money to conduct their trades when sheep goatskins, and yak butter had worked fine in the past. Gold had no use that she could see, other than looking nice. But nonetheless, people seemed like they would do anything just to get more money. Even kill. She had no idea what they wanted money for, but if the people liked it so much, Eurynomus would give it to them. That night, she went back to her home. It had a circle on the door that always reminded her of a big fat zero. It was her symbol, and she sometimes wondered if it represented her abilities as a goddess. Maybe her plan would give her symbol new meaning. The next day, Eurynomus got up and was ready in an instant. The night before, she had made her plan. She would wait until high noon. Then she would rain gold coins down on the unsuspecting people. Down on Earth, people were minding their own business. It was the middle of winter, and nobody could even leave their house before noon, for fear of freezing. Right as the first few brave merchants came out to start a days work, gold started falling from the sky like water trickling down a tiny brook. The people grabbed it and started cheering. They ran inside to get their neighbors and friends. But about a minute into this fabulous variety of rain, the coins began to fall faster and faster. Soon they were falling in a waterfall of glistening metal that crushed everything it touched. The rain of coins stopped very soon after it started. But the damage had already been done. Almost everyone who had been outside was killed. Many roofs had collapsed, crushing the people inside. Eurynomus started weeping when she saw what she had done. All of her tears welled up at the bottom of the clouds she was sitting on. In just a few minutes, they had all become ice crystals. Right at the moment they were freezing, the seal in the clouds broke and sent the frozen tears down to Earth.The people on the Earth who were still alive stood up and stared skyward at this strange new thing coming from the Gods. When it hit the ground and people found out that it was water, they began to praise Chac, congratulating him on overcoming his fear of cold. But very soon, the priests came out of their temple, and said that they had heard something while worshiping the Gods other then the usual thunder made by Chac. They had heard sobbing. The only God that would cry openly and let others see was Eurynomus. So they praised her for this strange gift.To this day Eurynomus has been labeled as the Goddess of Snow. Her symbol, the circle, was given to Persephone, since she was still casting about for something that would help the other gods forget where she spent six months of the year. Besides, the circle had some unfortunate reminders of the first official snow day. So, in an unusual burst of compassion, the Council of Elders awarded Eurynomus with a beautiful new door. In the exact center was the carved figure of a humpbacked whale.*END OF STORY*If anyone could be so kind as to write their reviews of this story here it would be greatly appricieated. she gave me another one, but i wont post it yet. maybe in a little while.Thanx alot!!!

[canute24 0]

You know that by posting that story you might have made some 5-10 credits. Now I am not sure about anything but I don't think what you did was right. If it wasn't then you'll here from the moderator soon. I think you have to put up things like these in quotes. Or more importantly in some other forum.