Going Through Sad Times.

[mrdee 1]

Has anyone ever had the feeling nothing more can go wrong in their lives and then all of a sudden "BANG!!!!!", life gives out another blow?Well,near the end of February, my sister informed me that her husband was really in a bad way, and that the doctors had given him only months to live.I later found out that they had given him about six months.This time, it was not cancer, but, he was getting demented and deteriorating quite fast, and, to be honest, I think an age of 68 is still a bit soon for going through that.What caused it basically, was the fact that he had a sort of shell surrounding his heart, which he had known about for many years, but it never really bothered him in the past, he was a football referee and hence did a lot of running and had quite some exercise.But then later, after retiring from refereeing, his condition began to get worse, and he had to have bypasses, while they were doing that surgery, they tried to remove the shell, or at least as much as they could, they sort of chiseled it away, but they had to stop as they did not get anywhere.He then started developing all sorts of complications, because his heart was not pumping properly, and in the end, as a result of that, his brain was not receiving enough oxygen, which caused the dementia to step in.Now, they had said in February they were giving him about six months to live, he died six weeks later, this was last friday, the 5th of April.We know we could expect it, as my sister had told me that, two days before his death, the staff at Palliative care had told her they were losing him, because he was going into a coma, but still, when my siser rang me at 6.30 am on Friday, it gave me such a shock i was getting chest pains again.He couldn't even live to see the fact that his favourite foorball team became champions, that was two days after his death.He will be buried on Saturday April the 13th, I won't even be able to be there as I am not well enough to travel.RIP Roland, you will never be forgotten.

[demonboy1990 0]

sorry to hear about your brother-in law, mr dee.

[mrdee 1]

Thank you, c4l.It is much appreciated.Unfortunately the bad news keeps rolling in, it is literally one thing after another.

[sheepdog 10]

So sorry to hear this, you've really been having a rough spell. You are past due for some better times for sure. Sorry you weren't able to attend the services. But you have to take care of yourself you know.My Dad's name was Roland too. It's not a very common name, but I always liked it.

[mrdee 1]

Thank you so much for the comforting words, Sheepdog.I know I have to take care of myself, but things are getting quite difficult for me at the moment, and I have quite a few hospital appointments coming on.However, to briefly come back to my brother-in-law's death: I said his heart condition did not bother him, or hardly, years ago, but then something else came to mind:His son-in-law siad "he stopped living 12 years ago", that was when he lost his 19-year old son (my godson) to cancer.I don't know whether there is any medical evidence for that, but it often happens that, when people lose a loved one, something inside dies too, it was the same thing with my dad after my mum's death.Anyway, in those twelve years, he kept going down hill, he never got over his son's death, and I think too that is one of the main reasons for his death.My sister still goes through difficult times these days, but she managed to process her grief somewhat, although it still hurts her.Anyway, thank you again for the nice words, Sheepdog.

[sheepdog 10]

I think you are right, there are some people who cannot deal with grief and when a major loss like that of a son or daughter or partner in marriage hits them they just can't go on. I can actually understand this as it happens often in cases of husbands and wives that have pretty much spent thier entire lives together, sometime 50 years or even more. That would be a very painful thing to have to deal with.

 

I hope you are getting better and all these hospital trips do you some good. We have too few good posters here now a days as it is, we'd really be lost with out ya, so hang in there ok?