"regret"short Film Script Idea

[dayoungone13 0]

Hey there,I'm a 20 year old film student and I am planning to join a short film competition. I have a script in hand already and I would like to know your opinion on it.It's a narrative story about a dead girl's regrets about friendship, love and family. (The twist is that she is actually dead throughout the film will be revealed at the near end of the film). I posted this script here to hear other people's opinion, suggestions and critical analysis on how to improve the film. Is the pace too fast? Is the twist too predictable? is there some scenes you guys want to add or delete? I'm open to any criticism as long as it helps improve the film.I have attached the PDF format of the script here. Looking forward to your opinions and suggestions.Thanks!

Regret Script.pdf

[ritu 1]

Gr81! buddy, to start with m a movie buff, cudnt hold back from appreciating your attempt, i wud love to watch the actual product, also as u r open to suggestions, how about inclusion of a few scenes displaying some warm moments of Kristine with her parents, like the vivid description of the hearty relation she shared with her dependable friend, the part that makes u feel the intensity of being in love for the first time after prolonged loneliness, is truly awesome! Go for the competition, m sure u will make a mark , gud luck!

[dayoungone13 0]

Thanks man, appreciate the reply! Waited almost two weeks for one!

 

You mean putting those scenes(some warm moments of Kristine with her parents) in the end of the film?

[ritu 1]

You can try that, it would introduce a touch of reconcilition. Good luck again!

Edited February 29, 2012 by ritu (see edit history)