HoRuS 0 Report post Posted December 21, 2011 It began nine years ago... When my son was born. The misery that I should have seen coming. A girl from an orphanage, too easygoing, too young to be so easy, too young to be a mother. A long story that is difficult to shorten up. When my son was born, it all started.. Every weekend to a hotel, not to be close to her child, asking me to let him be adopted, threatening to throw him off the balcony, shaking the little boy in his box, to get him quiet . I had to take him to work, so I lost two jobs and always nagging that I was not able to keep a job. Visitation appointments were broken when we finally parted ways. But the biggest crap began when he was 4 years. A child of 4 can not describe in detail how abuse works, and yet he managed to tell exactly what to do with his mother's boyfriend. After I confronted her with this and pointed out that she couldn't see her son for a while because of his safety, she was never to be heard from again. Through youth care we proposed (in this period, with my current girlfriend in our lives) for contacts between my son and his mother to start. After two times she fail to meet, and we had to deal with a broken heart kiddo again. A few weeks later, we (my son, girlfriend and I) agains saw her on the station, where she only looked angry at her own son and said nothing. Another heart broken boy, who allready had so much behind him. Then there was some harassing phone calls and then nothing. 4 years later we received an envelope in the mail. My son's bio-mom asked for visitation. I say bio-mom, because my son has my current girlfriend for 4 years accepted as a mother, as she has done everything for him and gave him everything he missed, what I could not. His bio-mom said that she didn't contact my son for four years because she wanted another lawyer (now one more year later, she also indicates that over the last four years she had no money to care for the boy). In court my lawyer suggested to let visitation begin in a special youth care house, assuming that it acts in the best interest of the child. The court asked to start it right away, even after I said my son has mental problems from his childhood and I wanted these to be taken care of first. There was a second trial. Now the judge told me that I had "cold feet" and if I did not start the visitation trough youth care, he would made sure it started without the youth care. Nice choice: s Last year in June began the process of youth care. It started well, I went there with an open mind, his bio-mother also seemed to work real hard for it and semed changed until the time came in January when my son was allowed to stay for the first weekend. Appointments were not fulfilled, manupalitive talks with him, he was allowed to steer the car of her current boyfriend, all crammed full of gifts and all that he wants, no rules. His bio-mom has even jumped the rails of the train for a bit to grab a stone for him before his own eyes (!). Mothers of my son's friends in the neighborhood tell my son has to like her current boyfriend and I could still go on and on.. She also criticized my parenting, in his presence and she always keeps his clothes we give along in the weekends.. Earlier I said that the house should dealing in the interest of the child, right? Tjah ... If I toss all above things on the table they tell me my son is a liar and manipulates, bio-mom makes up a nice story and all is good. I even had to lie to my own son, and to some extent take the blame on me, to why his bio-mother was away for four years! Now it appears that she works at the same court as where the visitation trials took place: s What a system, my lovely ex can do anything she wants, and my son can soon clean up the pieces, because no body wants / can do anything because Mrs. has them in her pocket by playing the victim roll. What a system.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
