"basketball"

[Neutrality 0]

This is actually the concluding stanza of a poem I co-wrote in my English class last year (we had to write it in groups, so I wrote the conclusion). I'm not the poetic type, but this "poem" is okay by my standards. Here it is:

 

Basketball

 

Ah the pleasure, the knowledge,

of that orange ball passing through

that fiery ring beyond reach.

It fills me with energy, and courage.

The watchers cheer and chant as loud

as the tides of the sea.

And now, I have conquered the beast,

and have won the fair-fought war.

In this single moment, my ego soars

above the clouds of Heaven, and I swell

with glorious pride. And the tides of

the sea continue their deafening roar,

until that moment has met its

end. But when it is all set and done, it

will be forgotten, and only my passion

for the game will remain. It will

never leave, no, not ever.

 

Your thoughts?

(Don't worry. If you hate it, don't hesitate to speak your mind. I don't mind.

[Furor 0]

Very good. I specially like these wordings:"But when it is all set and done, itwill be forgotten, and only my passionfor the game will remain. It will never leave, no, not ever."That's a pretty ignorant factor while writing such poems, but you've seemed to have hung on to that. Pretty creative I must say. Nice work!

[taylor 0]

It's very good; I've played for 10 years, and also read a lot of basketball poetry, but that's definitely one of the better ones.

[hulunes 0]

yeah,indeed you did a pretty work from reading the nice poem.i think there are more people who would cheer for you,not only your playing ball also the good poem,hehe.

[talbotda13 0]

I seem to like it and well i dont like alot in the world. everything kinda falls into place and it jusyt seems really good