Been Liking A Close Female Friend Might be a long read for you, need some advice x_x

[elryano0 0]

This might be a pretty long read but i want you guys to grasp in detail what im talking about so i can get some good advice..

 

 

Alright so.. basically there's this girl that I've known for just about 3 years for now, whom I've pretty much always had feelings for.. and over time we've developed into best friends. For the most part we've talked almost everyday through AIM or text, or while we're hanging out. The very first day that I met her i had interest in her because she was really appealing to me: she was really nice, funny, chill and extremely good looking.. with like, almost everything in common with me in terms of interests. And when i say everything I do mean a lot haha. We've always gotten along pretty well, and when we first started hanging out summer of our freshman year with a bunch of our other friends she definitely did flirt with me lol, but i never flirted back because i would always just be nervous and was such a p***y.

 

Anyway, I guess some time passed and some other dude came along that our mutual friends invited to hangout (we've only hungout alone together a couple of times, we're both part of a close-knit group of best friends that are constantly hanging out together) and this guy eventually developed feelings for her too (just like a lot of other guys she meets) ... difference is, she actually went out with him. I dont really know why she went out with him in the first place, but they had terrible chemistry lol and that didn't last more than like 3 months.. Anyway, i was pretty upset during that time period because i obv still had feelings for her that i couldn't get over, but yea, that was over. Right after that my friend had a house party with alcohol and this one kid made a move on her and she ended up hooking up with him and at the same time I was also intoxicated, I got really bitter/upset at that and for some weird reason i started being a complete *BLEEP* to her and calling her names and stuff that I didn't even mean. She was obviously upset over this and she said that she regret hooking up with the kid and she didn't know why she did it, i apologized for what i said and what not... and yea anyway..

 

A few months after that I made a really dumb move. I got really drunk with one of my guy friends and for whatever reason i thought it would be a good idea to just flat out tell her that I had feelings for her. I didn't really elaborate cause i didnt know too much of what i was doing lol, but what i basically said through AIM like a fool was "well... i guess i've almost always kinda liked you" and she replied to that by saying "really? i would have never thought that to be honest.." and then i somehow just signed off after that and i never brought the subject up again..(if you're wondering if she acted any different after that she did flirt a little bit, but i never made any moves so she eventually stopped) we got into a bunch of pointless arguements and fights because i couldn't control my stupid pre pubescent anger x_x and we slowly stopped talking...

 

This other kid like 4 months later after that..she ends up going out with and "falls in love" with. During this time we almost compeletely cut off connection cause I wanted to try and get over liking her, which i actually kinda did because she barely ever talked to myself or any of her friends, and she almost never hungout. This relationship lasted like 7 months, and she was heartbroken cause the kid ended up being an *BLEEP*... Anyway, now that she's hanging out again i can't help but like her... and this time there's ANOTHER kid that is currently talking to her, and its just VERY frustrating because it seems like everyone has a shot except me. I'm really worried that they might do some stuff, because for graduation we're going to wildwood beach in NJ and we're renting a motel for 3 days and we're going to be partying like crazy... i mean it won't be the end of the world but I just really like her and i can't understand why she doesn't like me. I'm not trying to sound conceited but I get hit on by a bunch of girls all the time, and i've been approached by a lot of girls saying that they liked me, and i even dated a couple of girls for very short periods of times while she was dating other people, but they didn't last cause i always had feelings for her, and i was constantly thinking about her.

 

 

Lately.. since she came back around i've been talking to her like all the time and i've been extremelyyy nice to her(and i put a lot of emphasis on that) .. we've also been flirting somewhat, and im not sure if she likes me but for some reason i kinda doubt myself. So many people i talk to about this are like "are you serious? i don't understand what your problem is you should definitely be able to get with her... you have a great personality, you're funny and you're very good looking" but that obviously hasn't been the case for me... at all, and if she doesn't like me and ends up with this new kid.. it seems like the only way for me to stop liking her is if i just completely cut off connection from her, which i can't do because she hangs out with the same people I hang out with and there's no way in hell that i will ever stop hanging out with these people... HELP please lol

 

 

If this helps im a virgo and she's a cancer for you people into astrology lol

Edited May 22, 2011 by elryano0 (see edit history)

[anwiii 17]

well normally, i would try to give some good advice when people are having problems. in your case though, i want to suggest something different. you're not a *****.....you're just shy and you really don't know how to approach this person and let out your feelings for her. so here's my suggestion for you and it's pretty easy. i found writing someone is easier sometimes than to talk to them face to face.my suggestion for you right now is to copy this post, paste it in an email and send it to her. and so she knows why you are doing this, you can show her my response as well. i think you need to stop punishing yourself. all your feelings are in what you posted and she will clearly know how much you feel for her and care about her if you just show her what you posted. she will even understand why you've been an *bottom* sometimes too.then all you have to do is ask her what her reaction to all this is and what she thinks.it's that simple. don't think about it, just do it. do it now.....stop thinking....and if you are still reading this, you haven't done it yet....do it.....do it now! :)no more excuses!!!okay....sorry. on a side note though, you really need to know how she feels. in order to accomplish this, you need to tell her how YOU feel first. it's obvious someone needs to start talking about it. just because she isn't doesn't mean she isn't interested in you being more than friends. i mean, look at yourself. you have hardly said a few words to her in how you feel. she flirts with you and you don't respond? how do you think it makes her feel? rejected? you think she's going to continue doing that if you reject her or if she feels you aren't responding to her attention towards you? the worse that will happen is that she IS possibly interested, but she doesn't want a relationship to affect the friendship. but listen, if you guys connect(and it certainly sound like you both do), then you owe it to yourselves to give it a shot and take things slowly and see if it can work out between the two of you. also, don't let alcohol influence things between you two or only bad things will happen and turn out hurting the both of you in the end. she doesn't sound like someone you are interested in just partying with so be responsible when you are drinking around hergood luck!

Edited May 22, 2011 by anwiii (see edit history)

[elryano0 0]

I dunno, im not really sure that she does like me like that... I'd say 40% that she does, 60% that she doesn't, and she's the type that would find something like that to be really awkward, and im not sure if she would still talk to me the same afterwards if she doesn't like me lolbut thank you for your advice

Edited May 22, 2011 by elryano0 (see edit history)