Cant Let Go Of Cyber Cheat how can I make a clean get away???

[missy2205 0]

I have been dating a guy in Australaisia for last 8 months and this relationship has taken a huge toll on me. It all started in August 2009 when he started telling me he really liked me and wwanted more than just cyber frend between us. At first I was sceptical but after a while I warmed up to him and we started getting close. We'd spend hours and hours chattiong on skype and many hours on the phone talking. He was a great guy and seemed to understand everythign I'd been through. He told me his life story and I really thought he was a nice gentlemen. Over the next weeks we grew closer and in November started dating over the net against the adv ice of all my friends and family.At first it was a whirl wind romance. him being sweet and textign me all the time and wanting to be with he everyminute of the day when he wasnt at work. I really though I had found a trully nice guy and hoped one day soon we ould meet in person and something real romantic would happen. I put all my all into the relationship even against the advice of my family who all thought he was way to old for me and would probably be using me. he is 58 I am 28. I asked my self using me for what? It was a cyber relationship and surely what would a man use me for with all that distance. If it was about using me for sex would it not be better to date a local girl to him say new zealand or Aussie. Anyway for the best part of 5 months he carried on being nice and gentlemany to me. Then his pc started giving him problems. I offered to have a look at it because I am somewhat a computer Techie and I know a brilliant piece of remote access software which woould allow me to go into his commputer and see his pc on my screen in the UK ad check out the problem and hopefully solve it. Because the problem took forever to fix and i had to go to work in between he set up a semi permanent password so I couold access his pc when i returned from work as he would still be at his work. That day when I logged back into his PC i took better part of 3 hours to sort out the rest of the problem and install the problem software again and then I was just about to log out when a message popped up on his skype saying 'Hey Babes I'm wearing a sexy outfit for you. cum rip it off and....' if you have used skype before you know what i mean when I say that orange box in the coner popped up saying message from Rose. Obviously I was curiious who rose was and why would she be writting my boyfriend a message like that. I debated for a few minutes whether that would be crossing the line if I open the message without his authority. My curiosity got the better of me and i opened his skype which was already loged in and I saw messages beween him and and Rose. What I saw shocked me. He was actually having a relationship with her and from Rose's skype Profile She was Based in China. I scrolled up to read previous messages and realised they were seemingly a couple having a full blown relationship. I was angry and felt stupid. I had fallen in love with a cheat who was makign me thing i was special yet he was seeing and carrying on with Rose behind my back. I was angry and livid I was going to ask him about it so I minimised Skype and logged out of his PC. I was gonna tell him a piece of my mind when he got back from work.By the time he got home, I had come to my senses and realised hed be mad at me for snooping so Instead I didnt ask him. I just thought Let me firat catch him red handed. From that day on I would log into his PC when ever he was at work and try to go through it looking for evidence of infidelity but found nothing. Soon I started thinking Rose was probably just a flirt not a girlfriend. THis was the case until I logged in and found his Facebook account open. And thats when I hit the jackpot. THere were messages to Rose sent even the day before and this to me was enough. I added Rose as a friend on Facebook and just talked casually to her and slowly brought the subject of dating. I told her my Bf was was Australasia and she she said hers was too. slowly i started to mention about being insecure ad the odd hours due to the time difference and then I mentioned his name. She though it was a coincidence but we soon realised we were seeing the same guy. I copied and pasted the coversation to him and confronted him. He couldnt shout and be angry that my friend on facebook just happened to be his other girlfriend could he. But instead he told me she was his ex who was refusing to let go and that he was not in love with her but me. He swore she was a psycho claiming to still be in love and and that he was only talking to her to be civil and as as way of helping her slowly wean herself off he. He said he didnt love her and convinced me that she was a psychopathic bit** who was just tryna spoil what we had. Anyway I bought all this and moved on. But I kept gettign a nagging feeling in my heart and did more snooping in his skype. Started checking his history for deleted converstations and go through his messages and i realised he has abiout 6 cyber girlfriends on the go outside of me and rose. He tells them the same messages he tells me and promises them the very same things he tells me. I feel used and hurt but when i confront him he gets mad at me for going through his skype and tells me they are just friends he flirts with. I had told my cousin in Australia bout him and she added him on facebook but I doubt he knew she was my cousin and he chatted up her told her he had feeling for her and would call her. My cousin played along because she wanted to see how far he was going to take things and he told her he was single and just coming out of a bad relationshhip with a girl in England. He told her I was controlling and emotiionally weak couldnt trust him and he was tired of it. Basically he made it sound like I was an ex and that he was into her and wanted her. WWhen she told him I was her cousin he was shocked at first and was like what the eff but the quickly said hahahh I knew that. Shes told me about you and I was just testing you to see what kind of person you were. He made it out like it was all a big joke and yet I know if she had said yes they could have been cyber lovers too and how do i know what would have happened seeing as they are closer and could have met easily with minimum expense. This got me thinking a lot and I want out of this relationship I told him I knew everythign and that I want our but he just told me my cousin was lying and she is the one who was coming on to him saying she didnt care about me cause logically they were closer and more likely to hook up so he should ee her and forget me. I know this ounds lame but this guy knows how to word it in a way that it had me spinning around and thinking my cousin maty have said it. The thing is i have become so dependent on this guy and I dont nw how to tell him to eff off out of my life because now a lot of my friends say hes chatted them up too and they feel Im onto a user and a looser. but each time I try breaking it up he just softs me and I end up confused and back with him. I have tried blocking him but I cant live without him and find myself unblocking and calling him. He has me wrapped around his little finger and I dont know how to unwrap myself. I need advice on how to stop being addicted to him cause it feels thats what this is. An addiction where I cant live without him and even though I know he's probably playing me and stringing me along I cant let go. I cant stop wanting him and I cant stop loving him What I hate is that I have never even met him in person but here I am stuck on him. What should I do?

[anwiii 17]

ok listen up. although i agree that friends and family can be somewhat non understanding and limiting in the advice they give, but now that you have lived through your limited experience with this guy, you should know what you have to do. heck. you even said it yourself. now let me clue you in on something here to where it might make it easier for you to let this scumbag go. i have seen preditors like this on the internet before. some are innocent, some are not but they are still preditors. they prey on people like YOU.....yes YOU.....the people easiest to be preyed upon but let's not get in to you and why you are easy "prey". let's talk about HIMhe's a preditor. he doesn't love you. he lies to you and he cheats on you. he could be married and you would never know. he could have a local girlfriend that he sees and you would never know. this information you have on him is ALOT! but guess what? it's very LITTLE information compared to what you DONT KNOW about him. this is just the surface that you have scratched on this guy. now. you have two choices. you can bite the bullet and be lonely for a while without this preditor who doesn't love you and who cheats on you and lies to you, or you can punish yourself further by giving in to him and the lies he says. wasting a year or more of your life until he hurts you even more. let's say you're with this guy for 2 years. that's two years that you just closed the door on any other healthy relationship or other activieties that you can enjoy rather than spend it with someone you know who will lie to you and cheat on you. you want that time wasted? you want to close the doors on your life or this guy? that's the choice you have to make right now. nothing.....i mean NOTHING will be positive out of this relationship. this i PROMISE you. you only scratched the surface by finding out what you already know.he's good at convincing you? ofcourse he is. you are his prey. you believe him because he is believable to you. this guy is wasting your life and ruining part of your life and you are still talking to him! why? because you're gullible? you're an idiot? you want to punish yourself? you think you can't get anyone better than that? he is USING YOU for his own benefit because he has no life. he's a loser. he probably doesn't even have any friends and the friends he may have are only his friends because he lies to them too because if his friends knew what he is, they would not be friends with him. not when he can lead multiple women on and hurt them.maybe you two are a match. maybe you have no life either so it's just best to hook up with some scumbag preditor with no life? you better get your crap together missy. there is a saying...."hurt me once, YOUR fault. hurt me twice, MY FAULT!". you love him? you THINK you love him. you can't love someone you don't even know. what other lies don't you know about and will find out eventually if you stay with this guy? YOU DONT KNOW HIM SO YOU CANT LOVE HIM FOR WHO HE IS! and you DEFINEATELY don't love him for what he has already done i am sure! so now we know it's not love you can possibly be feeling for this guy. it's only the IDEA OF LOVE that you are feeling and it's attached to this guy who you have been spending most of your time with. has he treated you with the same ideas of love that you have inside? NO! NOT EVEN CLOSE! so don't attach this guy to your idea of love either.now. am i getting through to you yet? do you now know you can't possibly love him and that he doesn't love you? that he will tell you any story because he knows you will believe any story he tells you? do you love when someone takes advantage of your trust and loyalty? do you love that in a person? this is exactly what he is doing. taking advantage of you in the worst way. now STOP SPYING ON HIM! don't waste your time with him. if you have access to his computer, delete everything on it as payback and don't ever talk to this guy again. he used you and he will CONTINUE to use you as long as you let him and it could be 2 years more before you find out ALL the dirt on this scumbag. DONT GIVE HIM THE TIME OF DAY and don't waste your time on him anymore. he is out to hurt you and he has already done so. he will hurt you more if you let him so DONT LET HIM HURT YOU ANYMORE! now i am sorry to be so blunt and firm but this is the kind of stuff you need to hear right now......the TRUTH....not the lies he tells you. STOP LISTENING TO HIM! he doesn't care about you. he probably has 5 other people to take your place so losing you is no big deal for him no matter what he says. you are replaceable because you don't give him what he needs. if you did, he wouldn't be going out talking to other women and flirting and trying to hook up with them. so his girlfriends are liers. your friends who talked to him are liers but he comes out squeeky clean? HAHAHAHAHAHA! WAKE UP!!! the only thing that makes him look squeeky clean is the lies he tells and you would rather trust and believe in him than your own self, family and friends now? this guy will seriously HURT you. you don't know this guy and you don't know what he's capable of. if you are willing to get close to him then you allow him to get close to your friends and family. your bringing this liar and cheat close to those you care about. he's DANGEROUS! he's not innocent. he's GUILTY in every sense of the word and you are playing HIS game. you are putting your friends and family at risk right now because you don't know how to let this guy go. you better care enough for yourself, your friends and family to let this creep go or god help you. you will be just as bad as he is to allow this man in all your lives. you have already gotten your friends directly involved by talking and scamming this guy. you think they want to waste their time? do you think they even want to talk to this scumbag? NO! they are doing it for YOU!!! and you are allowing it!!! so WAKE THE F UP!now missy. i don't want to scare you away from posting again. you came here for advice. you are being controlled by this man right now and you need other strong people to help control you in the opposite direction of this guy that will only hurt you. i know he has fullfilled some of your needs. you wouldn't have thought you loved him otherwise. you wouldn't be so hurt right now if you didn't see the good he gave you. but all the good and all the things he fullfilled for you were deceptions. he's not really like that. he lies for a living and is an expert at it. he is good at what he does and that's why this guy will never be alone. when you finally get the strength to leave him for good, you have already been replaced by two more suckers that he will prey on. he is THAT good at what he does. i have been on the internet for over 20 years and have seen it all. i have seen my friends raped because they thought they knew and loved someone they met on the internet and i have known people who got seriously physically abused and mentally abused after they spent their last dime to move in with someone they met on the internet and had no way out to go back home where it was safe. please please PLEASE don't be one of those people. i have also see people get attatched to people over the internet and send the person they love and who has never met, MONEY....and lots of it. please don't feed in to his lies. you don't know him. everything he does he does for himself. not you. he does NOT love you. all he wants to do is control you. you need to end this relationship with this guy you don't know and you need to end it NOW! i know how hard it is after thinking you knew him and how he could have never done something like this to you. breaking up is never easy. there is better out there for you than this guy so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE trust me on this one. i know what i am talking about and doors wont open for you until you close the door on this preditor! you need to close the door on this guy and never EVER reopen in just so he can sweet talk you and fool you. you will be hurt and lonely but at least you wont get more hurt by this guy. you may even feel more insecure but you will be stronger for it! you will see so many other possibilities out there waiting for you. a lot better than the situation you got yourself in to with this guy. he can say everything you want to hear and sweet talk you every day.....but in the end, YOU are the one who is going to get hurt if you let him while he will just move to his next victim because he never cared about you in the first place. you were only a game to him so please......one last time.....don't be or play the fool!

[missy2205 0]

thanks. What you have said makes sense. I so wanna get rid of the scum, I have had enough of his lies. And his cheating. I have been thinking of finding even a rebound relationship but the thing is I dont know how to stay away from him and I tried leaving him before. But I seem to think i cant survive outside of him . I am on Xisto to get advice and i am taking everythign on board. I will work hard on not letting myself be a victim. I welcome any more aadvic especially on how i can walk away without feeling like i have to depend on the cheating scumbag.

[anwiii 17]

i know it will be hard, missy. you just have to know all the bad things he has done and how he will end up limiting you. that should piss you off enough to be able to leave him. no. i don't advise getting in to a rebound relationship or you are just leading someone else on just like this guy lead you on.so like i said before. get access to his computer if you still have it and delete everything! do that and other things to make him hate you. that is one option. giving him the power to leave YOU.your problem is hard because what i am hearing is you are dependant on him and he is your addiction even though he is scum. what do you think this says about you? now....do you want to be this person? if not, then you are going to have to change. you have the power to change. since we are talking about replacing something that you are dependant on, you will probably have to replace it with something else to be dependant on and keep busy. how about joining a gym and excersizing through the time you would normally spend with him? how about continuing your education? take some college classes and use your time that way. how about joining a bowling league or something else that is fun where you can meet new people to be social with rather than people on the internet. not that people on the internet is bad but it's good to have a balance. so these are some suggestions for you.you know, we are all dependant on electricity too, missy.....but you don't see people putting their fingers in wall sockets to get shocked and hurt. this is exactly what you are doing when you go back to this guy. also, truely know yourself. know you are a good person. know that you deserve better than this guy. know that there is better out there for you as long as you keep the doors open. know that life holds many good surprises for people if they can learn the small lessons in life that we are forced to face. know that if you can be strong enough to say no to this guy and close the door on him forever, you will be even stronger for it and will be more independant and less dependant on another guy which will make it easy for you to enter a more meaningfull relationship in the future. something that isn't based on dependance and insecurity....or the feeling of emptiness and being alone.one last suggestion i strongly recomend is either sitting quietly in your room to think or take a walk to think and think about yourself, who you are, what you want to do and who you want to become. think about those things and all the things you need to do to reach your own potential in life. try to gain the confidence that you can do anything you set your mind to. put the same dedication in to your own self as you have done with this JERK! you are better than anything he has to offer you and you deserve more than anything he has to offer. he may satisfy a need for you right now, but do you need to be hurt? if you do, then stick your finger in that wall socket and feel the pain. the hurt he will give you in the long run will be a lot worse than that! believe me, people like that can leave other people emotionally crippled for a long long time! sometimes people don't recover from it and the pain affects them for their entire life. do you want that to be you? you need to seriously ask yourself that question because right now you are on that road wether it's with this guy or the next guy. please make better choices for your future. you owe it to yourself to offer nothing but the best for yourself. don't you agree?

[mandla 0]

I totally agree with ANwii. Such people only find joy and excitement from taking advantage of not one or two or more girls. They are probable people with no diginity and love attention from women and never care of the consequences of their actions. Missy I would advise you to do something bad like Anwii said. That way he will be the one shutting you out. Yes it will hurt but in the long run its a good thing cause holding on to thiis addiction will only drain you in the end. You dont wanna be victim number 222 or 3948 in his book do you. All this guy is doing is notching up his number of stupid girls who fell for me on the net. He will tell you everythign to make you think he is your everything and that you cant survive without him but remeber 10 months ago you didnt need him so its not like if you left him you whole world would cave in as he probably has led you to believe. I'd say grab the bull by the horns and make a bold move, make him find out you are cheating on him or seeing someoen else (of course these dont have to be real situations just make him think that) and he will be angry tell him you dont care if he dumps you cause those people are better than him or something mean. He should get angry enough to say its ovewr between us and then make sure you let your heart weep and grieve if thats what you feel you need to do but for Pete's sake dont ever go back to him grovelling because this type of scum probably tells his mates yeah let them girls go cause even she goes she'll still come back crawling. So ask yourself do you wanna prove him right when he says such degrading statements about you.Imagine the stuff he told ROSE when she confronted him. He probably told her that MIssy is the one who cant let go I have told her thousand times to leave me alone but shes a psycho who just keeps following and begging me to take her back but i just cant shake her off she always yoyo's back. Now look she's stalking you on FAcebook. Oh god I hate that beech and I wish I never met her. He could have abelled you anything to His precuious ROse and you'd never know. Have you spoken to Rose ever since to hear what her side of the story is after the confrontation if she had the guts to confront him even. I bet you anythign she thinks you are a stupid psychopatic bieech who cant let go of her man and you will find that its not just Rose whose caught in your Boyfriends net. Theres probably 50 other girls planet wide all swearign and calling each other names because they have been led to believe you so called Boyfriend loves them and not the other girl thats been labelled a psycho who cant let go.Good luck in leaving him. But do it sooner rather than later as the longer you leave it the harder it will get.

[magnafrost 0]

I have been dating a guy in Australaisia for last 8 months and this relationship has taken a huge toll on me. It all started in August 2009 when he started telling me he really liked me and wwanted more than just cyber frend between us. At first I was sceptical but after a while I warmed up to him and we started getting close. We'd spend hours and hours chattiong on skype and many hours on the phone talking. He was a great guy and seemed to understand everythign I'd been through. He told me his life story and I really thought he was a nice gentlemen. Over the next weeks we grew closer and in November started dating over the net against the adv ice of all my friends and family.
At first it was a whirl wind romance. him being sweet and textign me all the time and wanting to be with he everyminute of the day when he wasnt at work. I really though I had found a trully nice guy and hoped one day soon we ould meet in person and something real romantic would happen. I put all my all into the relationship even against the advice of my family who all thought he was way to old for me and would probably be using me. he is 58 I am 28. I asked my self using me for what? It was a cyber relationship and surely what would a man use me for with all that distance. If it was about using me for sex would it not be better to date a local girl to him say new zealand or Aussie.

Anyway for the best part of 5 months he carried on being nice and gentlemany to me. Then his pc started giving him problems. I offered to have a look at it because I am somewhat a computer Techie and I know a brilliant piece of remote access software which woould allow me to go into his commputer and see his pc on my screen in the UK ad check out the problem and hopefully solve it. Because the problem took forever to fix and i had to go to work in between he set up a semi permanent password so I couold access his pc when i returned from work as he would still be at his work. That day when I logged back into his PC i took better part of 3 hours to sort out the rest of the problem and install the problem software again and then I was just about to log out when a message popped up on his skype saying

'Hey Babes I'm wearing a sexy outfit for you. cum rip it off and....' if you have used skype before you know what i mean when I say that orange box in the coner popped up saying message from Rose. Obviously I was curiious who rose was and why would she be writting my boyfriend a message like that. I debated for a few minutes whether that would be crossing the line if I open the message without his authority. My curiosity got the better of me and i opened his skype which was already loged in and I saw messages beween him and and Rose. What I saw shocked me. He was actually having a relationship with her and from Rose's skype Profile She was Based in China. I scrolled up to read previous messages and realised they were seemingly a couple having a full blown relationship. I was angry and felt stupid. I had fallen in love with a cheat who was makign me thing i was special yet he was seeing and carrying on with Rose behind my back. I was angry and livid I was going to ask him about it so I minimised Skype and logged out of his PC. I was gonna tell him a piece of my mind when he got back from work.

By the time he got home, I had come to my senses and realised hed be mad at me for snooping so Instead I didnt ask him. I just thought Let me firat catch him red handed. From that day on I would log into his PC when ever he was at work and try to go through it looking for evidence of infidelity but found nothing. Soon I started thinking Rose was probably just a flirt not a girlfriend. THis was the case until I logged in and found his Facebook account open. And thats when I hit the jackpot. THere were messages to Rose sent even the day before and this to me was enough. I added Rose as a friend on Facebook and just talked casually to her and slowly brought the subject of dating. I told her my Bf was was Australasia and she she said hers was too. slowly i started to mention about being insecure ad the odd hours due to the time difference and then I mentioned his name. She though it was a coincidence but we soon realised we were seeing the same guy. I copied and pasted the coversation to him and confronted him.

He couldnt shout and be angry that my friend on facebook just happened to be his other girlfriend could he. But instead he told me she was his ex who was refusing to let go and that he was not in love with her but me. He swore she was a psycho claiming to still be in love and and that he was only talking to her to be civil and as as way of helping her slowly wean herself off he. He said he didnt love her and convinced me that she was a psychopathic bit** who was just tryna spoil what we had.

Anyway I bought all this and moved on. But I kept gettign a nagging feeling in my heart and did more snooping in his skype. Started checking his history for deleted converstations and go through his messages and i realised he has abiout 6 cyber girlfriends on the go outside of me and rose. He tells them the same messages he tells me and promises them the very same things he tells me. I feel used and hurt but when i confront him he gets mad at me for going through his skype and tells me they are just friends he flirts with. I had told my cousin in Australia bout him and she added him on facebook but I doubt he knew she was my cousin and he chatted up her told her he had feeling for her and would call her. My cousin played along because she wanted to see how far he was going to take things and he told her he was single and just coming out of a bad relationshhip with a girl in England. He told her I was controlling and emotiionally weak couldnt trust him and he was tired of it. Basically he made it sound like I was an ex and that he was into her and wanted her. WWhen she told him I was her cousin he was shocked at first and was like what the eff but the quickly said hahahh I knew that. Shes told me about you and I was just testing you to see what kind of person you were. He made it out like it was all a big joke and yet I know if she had said yes they could have been cyber lovers too and how do i know what would have happened seeing as they are closer and could have met easily with minimum expense.


This got me thinking a lot and I want out of this relationship I told him I knew everythign and that I want our but he just told me my cousin was lying and she is the one who was coming on to him saying she didnt care about me cause logically they were closer and more likely to hook up so he should ee her and forget me. I know this ounds lame but this guy knows how to word it in a way that it had me spinning around and thinking my cousin maty have said it.

The thing is i have become so dependent on this guy and I dont nw how to tell him to eff off out of my life because now a lot of my friends say hes chatted them up too and they feel Im onto a user and a looser. but each time I try breaking it up he just softs me and I end up confused and back with him. I have tried blocking him but I cant live without him and find myself unblocking and calling him. He has me wrapped around his little finger and I dont know how to unwrap myself. I need advice on how to stop being addicted to him cause it feels thats what this is. An addiction where I cant live without him and even though I know he's probably playing me and stringing me along I cant let go. I cant stop wanting him and I cant stop loving him What I hate is that I have never even met him in person but here I am stuck on him. What should I do?

ok i din't read the posts subsequent to this one, but I hope I won't be repeating what people said earlier. My point of view would be that its the best thing that ever happened to you. I really think everything in life adds value to you as experience, ESPECIALLY the bad ones! And you are there. You tell me you find it hard to let go of him. I understand exactly how it feels as I've felt the same way about people in the past. And you know what, if you just bite your teeth and manage the first few months (yes months is what it took me), you'll find that those people don't matter to you anymore. And I'm talking about people whom I liked more than I should've which led to a rift, which led to us talking to each other. We used to run into each other everyday, had the same set of friends but wouldn't talk. Eventually, now its come back to a state were I don't really care. Same thing will happen to you , but quicker. And in your case, you have to decide which approach you would prefer. Keep talking to him and KNOW that he's cheating you. And try and free yourself. Or bite your tongue and stop talking to him. Try this to get started. You probably think about pinging him every time something happens(maybe your dog made a funny noise, maybe your neighbour sneezed too loud that the dog got scared) but resist the urge, and let go of THAT thing. DO NOT talk to him about it AT ALL. The next thing, probably go ahead and ping. Do it alternately, and make it one out of 3 times. One out of 4. Slowly, hopefully, it'll reach a state where you really think before pinging him, and thats where you want to be. Hope this helps. And sorry again if I'm just repeating stuff.

[missy2205 0]

thanks guys gals for all your advice. I am really impressed that ou all took your time to actually read my problem and give advice that was open and sensible. To be honest a lot of the points you all raised were very tempting and I must say I took one of the advice and put them into action. Needless to say he was sooooooo angry he called me fuming and cussing and he ditched me. I cried for a the whole night cause i kept trying to ring him and he wasnt pickng up my calls. I also felt like I'd just lost everything. but yesterday I was lovesick but spent the whole day keeping busy. i went out with the girls and had fun getting chatted up by handsome strangers and being sniged by navy officers we met ut in the tom.Thanks for all you support and I appreciate all your advice. I will keep posting any major changes so you can see what your help has changed in my life. tHANK YOU ALL

[Harlot 2]

thanks guys gals for all your advice. I am really impressed that ou all took your time to actually read my problem and give advice that was open and sensible. To be honest a lot of the points you all raised were very tempting and I must say I took one of the advice and put them into action. Needless to say he was sooooooo angry he called me fuming and cussing and he ditched me. I cried for a the whole night cause i kept trying to ring him and he wasnt pickng up my calls. I also felt like I'd just lost everything. but yesterday I was lovesick but spent the whole day keeping busy. i went out with the girls and had fun getting chatted up by handsome strangers and being sniged by navy officers we met ut in the tom.
Thanks for all you support and I appreciate all your advice. I will keep posting any major changes so you can see what your help has changed in my life. tHANK YOU ALL

I would first like to say that anwii gave you wonderful advice and he is completely correct. You are messing around with a dangerous man, it doesn't matter how far away he is located. It is pretty clear that he doesn't love you and it seems like he is just as much addicted to all these different women as you are addicted to him. I don't know what is he seeking from you, but he surely sounds like a predator without a stable life. If what you posted is true, I am certain that he is just that. The thing is that I hope that he is now out of your life. However, the fact is that most likely he will call you back and apologize for "losing his temper" and tell you that he lost it because he loves you and all of these other lies. That is what predators do, they are masters of exploitation. I hope that you don't fall for those lies and tell him where to go.

As anwii states, there is no telling what else this guy has done that you don't know. He could be a child molester, rapist, psychopath (sure sounds like one), or even a serial killer. For all you know he could be preying on all these women with the goal of raping and killing them. Think about it, why would he be starting all these relationships with women online? What is he getting out of it? Are these women sending him money? Did you send him money? Or is he a some type of sick sexual psychopath? Just because this guy sounds so normal, and treats you like a lady (which you mistake for love), doesn't mean he is the good guy that you may think he is. What shines isn't always gold. In you case, he doesn't even shine. You can't turn a dirty rock into a piece of gold. I recommend ensuring that you do not reopen connections with this guy. You feel like you have lost something perhaps because you are lonely or don't feel like you are worthy of someone better. I don't know you so I am only making assumptions or guessing what the problem could be. However, it is obvious that you can find someone better. There are plenty men out there looking for a good woman, you just have to jump right into it and looking for them. Thats why anwii suggested getting out there and developing a social life.

As for your cousin pursing this man, I know how poop smell and it smells like poop to me. Its just another lie. I don't see how you can even consider it as truth after the continuous lies that he has told you. All of his online dating women are just either flirts or lying, you cousin is lying, and next thing you know you'll be asking yourself if you're a liar yourself too. So when he calls back don't answer the phone. Don't give him a chance to pull you in once again with his lies and promises. The guy is 30000 miles away and you want him to say that far way if not farther.

[sheepdog 10]

Oh anwiii, what a great answer! You are right on the money on this one!And I'm glad you came up with it. I sure couldn't have. I really don't get these so called cyber romances. Makes no sense to me at all. I can understand meeting new people and making friends on line, but romance????? Love/romance are developled from humans using their 5 senses. Site, sound, smell, feel, hear. Granted, you can hear the sound of voice on the phone, and see pictures, but it's just not enough to justify a serious relationship threw a computer without the use of all of one's senses. Maybe I'm just getting too old, but I think the world has gone nuts.