What Kind Of Families Do You Have?

[web_designer 7]

hi, i always think there are many kinds of families in the world:- your big family: the first kind and the most important is your big family. here, i mean your father and mother and your sisters and brothers. they are simply people related to you in blood, which make them the closest persons to you, emotionally and mentally. they share you the same memories and experiences all over the years. but unfortunately, not everyone have this bless, some don't like their own families, or maybe feel they don't related to them for many resons. some lost their own families, or maybe lost one of them and that leads us to the second kind of families.-your own family: here i mean the family that you make it for yourself (your spouse and children). not anyone can have this kind of families also for many reasons. but it always be a very important part of your life. some people feel that it is an alternative to their big family, others have them both. where some don't have any so that leads us to the third part of families.- friends: a lot of people feel that their friends are the true family they have. that's depend on many issues like they already don't have a family, or they loose one of them, or they can't get along with their families. a lot of circumstances will lead to this situation, lack of support from their families, lack of secure, or lack of existence of their parents.now, the question is what kind of family do you have? which one you feel you are really relate to? which kind do you prefer?

[anwiii 17]

i think there are pros and cons to it all. we all have our different opinions of what a family should be like but nobody can really ever say their family is "perfect". i think every family has it's problems and is dysfunctional in some way depending on how you look at it. but that's ok because that's life and one of the good aspects of any family is to prepare you for life.as for me, i have no regrets about my family or those i meet. sometimes i get hurt, sometimes i don't. it's just the way the ball rolls sometimes but even though my family isn't perfect, they have taught me a lot and been there for me during the hard times.the sad part is, not all "families" have the qualities of being a family. what i mean by that is that you can be born in to a family that doesn't care, who abuses you non stop, who teases you, who just brings down your whole morale and self esteem. so even if you are technically a family, i can't possibly consider a family as dysfuctional as that a real family with the qualities that go in to a family relationship.i've been lucky to have met a whole lot of people in my life and a lot of those people i consider friends. i am also blessed with 4 of those friends who i consider family and my family considers family. my mother mioght as well have given birth to those people because they are that strongly connected to my immediate family.the sad part is the dysfunctional families. i grew up in los angeles where in the 70's and 80's, more and more kids were joining gangs. this wouldn't have happened if they felt they had an immediate family. when getting to know these kids, the most important thing they needed was love and loyalty. i have absolutely no problem when kids join gangs because they do have something to offer that is family like that they aren't getting at home. what i have a problem with is what they sometimes do in gangs and gang initiations. it's not only illegal, but it sometimes has to do with taking a life or robbing people or just intimidating people enough to where these people know not to go in certain neighborhoods because certain gangs sometimes like to claim territories. you talk to any gang member though, they wont say their immediate family is their family. they will say the gang they belong to is their family. a family they would die for because they were never given enough love, attention, and guidance growing up when they were to little to even join a gang or go searching for something that was missing in their lives. so when you hear about drive by's and robberies or people getting beaten up that is gang related, yea, it's disgusting, but people often focus on the ones who didn't and not the mother or father who abandoned them as children and to me, that is even MORE disgusting.btw web designer, you made this long setup speach for this thread, but you didn't talk about your own family. why not? what is YOUR take?

[Rigaudon 0]

Wow, this is a broad topic. Well, I have my blood-family- my parents and brother. My parents both grew up in China and started out as pretty poor, with not even the wildest dreams of coming to America. They worked hard and made it all the way to the upper-middle class in America. When they came, they barely knew how to even write their own names in English. I can't possibly imagine how difficult it must be to do something like that, and make it all the way past many American families, and I'm definitely very grateful. However, sometimes I feel the difference of cultures between us. I was brought to America when I was five years old, so I grew up the American way. The contrasting cultures can lead to arguments at times, but I concede that more often than not, I am wrong when it comes to questions about life and morals. My brother was born 3 years ago, so he won't have to go through what my parents (or even I, for the first 5 years of my life) went through (lucky bastard). Then, there's my friends. They've always been there when times looked down. I've actually moved quite a lot since moving to America, and the gap between leaving friends behind and making new ones is always difficult. Moving forward on the path of life, I find that looking back does wonders for your self esteem and consciousness. I still keep in contact with my old friends while always making new ones, and my friends keep me motivated through whatever I may be going through, and for that, I am grateful.And last, but certainly not least, there's my intellectual family- people who I meet who share my common interests and goals- including all of you! I probably owe the most, in terms of self-development and discovery, to my intellectual family. The wonderful thing about this is not only meeting new people, but also being introduced to new concepts that you probably could not get if you lived on the opposite side of the world of that person.I feel like I relate to all my families, and it would be impossible for me to choose one over the other. If you asked me, "if they were all going to die, which one would you save?", then I'd think suicide would be an easier choice than choosing between them. That sounds dark, i know, but I couldn't live with myself if I knew I chose one over the others.

[web_designer 7]

i just want to know your opinions first, another reason i pitied these sections with no topics at all. so i feel i should write something.about my family, i am one of those who are blessed with all these kinds of families. THANKS GOD, i have a great big family who supports me in every step in my life, my father and mother did everything they can to let us get the best education, the best lifestyle and the best ethics. even they are far away from me now because we live in different countries, but they are always in my heart. i don't say that we didn't have our bad times, every family do, but we never let others down in the hard times.also i have a little family me, my husband and my little baby girl. my husband is always there for me, we support each other in everything. since we are apart from our families we are very close to each other and we have ups and downs like anyone else. even i said i have all these kinds of families, and that's right, kind of. because i have two great friends, the best that anyone can have but they are also live in a different country. and i couldn't have any friends like them again. although i have two great families but now i am really miss my friends. since we are far away from each others i can't get along with them like before. i can't call them whenever i want because of the differences of time zone, i can't get them when i need them for a reason or another. but to be reasonable, it is a kind of balance, nobody have everything.

[nirvaman 1]

Wow that's the kind of discussions i love !Thank's god , i've two of the listed families types (just like you anwiii), i've got my big family with mom and dad , my two brothers and sister , i'm living with them actually , after i've finished my studies.And the second family is my friends , i've got a lot of friends, but only 3 good ones , like we say intimes friends , they always supported me and they have been here when i was looking for their support.I'm not interested about the theird type of families right now ! i think that i should get married , when i'll be like 35 or 40 , but in 26-27 ?? No , not now! No offense web-designer , but women love to get married , men don't :PAnother addition , is about another type of families that most of us here do have , it's the GREAT family , means your great parents ,ancles , cousins ,from both sides (mom's and dad's sides) , cousins of your dad and their sons ,and your mom's cousins and sons..... so at the end you will find that you have a GREAT family of about 100 persons , that cares about you , and will support you when ever needed.And thank's god again , for giving me the opportunity to live in such good families , it's a bless , i've seen a lot of people that don't have this , i've seen orphelin ,abused children , and a lot of people without families , and without names !I think , if someday i will have to choose between all the good things that god gave me , i would choose my family .

[web_designer 7]

And last, but certainly not least, there's my intellectual family- people who I meet who share my common interests and goals- including all of you!

here we have a great opinion, the intellectual people are also considered as family to me. but the problem is you can't find them so easily, you can't find people sharing you the same ideas and interests any where, it is rare to happen. but if it is, then it is really a bless. the more beautiful part of this kind of friends is you feel like you know them for years, while you don't, maybe you meet him/her for only a few weeks or months ago. this is a really that kind of magic that life can bring to us. personally, i think that i got some friends here in this forum that i respect and admire. even i don't know them only for a few months ago but i feel so grateful to find this forums. maybe it is a kind of substitution after all, because i miss my friends. but i am glade to have someone to sharing my ideas, interests and work style since most of us is dealing with websites, internet and technology. to be honest, i am not that kind of people who get along so fast with everyone around, in contrast, i am so picky with my choices, when i enter a place for the first time, i just sit and watch everyone around to see how they behave, i really like to chose my friends. but i always believe of giving people a second chance, in case i made a wrong idea about someone. i really think it is the best way to have friends, this way i won't have a 20 or more friends that we don't have the same thoughts or can be there for me when i need them, instead i will have 2 or 3 great close friends who will be always near me. but i always treat the rest as my mates, and i always ready to support them.

No offense web-designer , but women love to get married , men don't wink.gif

and nirvaman, you are wrong here, not all of them. now, there are more priorities in women' life more important than get married. like getting a job, getting a college degree, at least prove themselves first. they think that marriage must be based on love, trust, and respect or it is not worth it. but i have admit that there is anther types of women who search for a husband for other reasons, but now days i think these cases are little, simply, because men now can't be deceived. they will know why this woman wants to marry him, for money, for secure for example. if he accept then it is his choice.
marriage is a huge step women naturally feel they can handle it when men don't, and this is so stupid idea. because marriage needs 100% of work from each side to make it works. but unfortunately not everyone can understand that. so, nirvaman someday you will fall in love and want to stay with her forever, so you don't have an option but marriage. when that day comes, remember me .

[midnightvamp 1]

I've got my big family, though it isn't really all that big. It's just my Dad and I living at home together. Soon this might be changing though, because he's finally thinking about moving in with his girl friend. So it might be My Dad, his girlfriend, her son, and I living together soon. I'm not sure how that's all going to work out, so I guess I'll just have to play it by ear.As for the rest of my immediate family, we are kind of spread around. My mother lives with my step-father around 40 minutes away or so, and I see her on occasion. I do more talking on the phone or Internet with her though. I used to live with her when I was younger, but I moved in with my Dad when I went to college, because his house is nearby.I also have a sister, but she lives with her boyfriend also about 40 minutes away. She's really busy lately, so I don't get much chance to see or talk with her, but we get together and chat online when we can. She'll be coming over in a couple days to celebrate a late Easter! (Yes, getting our family together for holidays is hard, so lots of times we do things late haha).It's a spread out family, but I've never really known it to be any different. I don't remember us all living together, because my parents split up when I was really young. And they've always lived in different cities, so it's normal to me not to see my family all that often. Though I'd like it to be more, we still do what we can ;)As for my extended family (or Great Family as it's been called above), we are even more spread out so we see each other even less often. But we still get together for the holidays if we can (some live in different countries, or on the other side of the country, so it's hard). Even with my extended family, we are a small bunch, so during the "big" family get-togethers, we are at max usually about 10 people. Most times that number is closer to six. But it's still nice to see everyone :PFor fun, I just counted up my entire family (siblings, parents, step-parents, step-siblings, grand parents, aunts, uncles, cousin's, cousin's children - for both sides of my family) and the grand total is 27 Wow that sounds like a small great family lol! But I like it, because it's mine and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

[Spiceywolf 0]

My close and really the only family I consider for me as actually "family" Is just my mom, younger sister and me.My father passed away a few years ago. We don't have the greatest is life, we struggle financially a lot and recently moved andended up homeless for a month but we manged to get out of that and living decent now, which I'm really greatfull for. Wehardly ever argue so that's a plus! but then again...we hardly ever "really talk" if that makes sense, we talk normally though.And my mother is very accepting of things and lets me do whatever...but with a little over protectiveness. lolMy sister and I get a long just great. When share some stuff in common to! :DThen there's my other..not so close family that I kinda dislike. My older half sister and her 2 daughters.We all live in the same house at the moment.My older sister is very hard to live with...she has random outburst, I believe shes bi-polar.The youngest of her daughters is the one of the most annoying person ever. She nevershuts up and says mean things to people all the time and stares at herself for hoursin the mirror, she thinks shes the most beautiful girl alive. Her other daughter isn't that badshes quiet.Shes only 14 and a baby on the way. *sigh*And then theres my own family...well kinda. I don't have any kids, wont for awhile or maybe never.I just have my girlfriend, Cara. We've been together for almost 2 1/2 years. We are very close,I'm not as close to anybody as I am with her.

Edited June 20, 2010 by Spiceywolf (see edit history)

[prashansas 0]

I believe it depends on person to person. But for me my family is my mom, dad and sister. because as per my perspective i feel friends come along and go in one's life journey. They might be there for a while but eventually not for a longer time. It's your family that would remain with you in good and bad times till the end. Because your parents are the first people to know you as a small baby they have seen your life from the day of your birth and no one i mean not even your closest friend would know you so well as your parents would. Because your it's not your closest friend but your parents who have slogged for you day and night. To see that you have everything you need. It's because of their love and care that you have been grown up and been into a person you are today. everyone makes mistakes and let's not forget that our parents are also human beings but that doesn't mean they aren't our true family. Infact no one in this world not even your closest friend can take their place.

May be you have known your closest friends for 5 years or 15 years or 20 years or even more than that but if you see the time line of your relationship with your friends and with your family, the time you spent with your family will always weigh more then your friends. And the percent to which your family will know you would also always be higher than your friends. And I would say I have been priviledged to have my family as my true friends too. Specially my mother and father who are not just parents but my very good friends with whom I can share and talk about everything going on in my life. Family is a blessing unto a person.

[udayvedanthuman 0]

My parents both expired and my brothers both are well settled. Elder one is at Kolkatta and another elder one is at Mumbai.I am staying separately on my own because I don't want that my brothers, who has taken care of me for years would continue to do so...they have there own family and I want my brothers to be happy with there families. After marriage, family (spouse and children) really matters to a person and I respect it completely. Hardly few friends I have in Mumbai. All are juniors to me, but I know them for the last 17 years. So life is full of fun, leading the life in an independent way. Going on with my thoughts, trying to make difference to an individual in whatever possible way I can...So at one point, my parents who are watching me from heaven, must feel proud of me.