Being Played Or Being Tested? i need advice on what to do

[redrum805 0]

ok so i been talking to my ex;s cousin and she is 3 yrs older than me with 3 kids. im not sure if im getting played or tested. we been haning out past 3 months every day non stop. i told her i like her and i know she has to do what she has to do at times. i didnt make my move on her quickly for many reasons.i wanted to show her my tru self. and i want a relationship not just a relation. she slowly has been changing her style to suit mine.but when i try to kiss her past 2 times she moves her cheek. she lets me kiss her neck but tells her it turns her on. at first she held back b/c her cousin we were suppose to get married. but now im with her. she never has been treated with respect or like a woman should be treated. never taken out on dates b/c of her past gangster lifestyle. should i be more aggresive or stop callin. cuz she has friends that want me bad and when i tell her im not going to my old self and i into you and dont want no other girl she smiles and blushes. i know she likes me in some way but seems to test me. she also ignore's all her phone calls when she with me unless she needs something. but now since i lost my car we cant kick it like we use too and i make effort to see her and does as well.she mentioned also if she has sexual relations with me she wont with anyone else even tho she kicks it with other guys. so i think she has her "guy" at the moment b/c she wont let me get that far. but still wants to c me. her other friend tells me to give it time .im just 23 and like i said she is older and i cant just read her sometimes. other girls no prob. maybe cuz i never encountered an older woman with kids or a possible "PLAYER". so any advice. leave or wait it out or be more aggresive or just ignore and play the game!

[mahesh2k 0]

I don't know but hitting on married girl is not worth it even if she's single now or maybe still married. Any case you end up screwing yourself cause she has her responsibilities and people who talk about love in such case are only attracted towards girl. If it's love then they'll hardly set any expectations from the person they love. In short, my advice stop wasting your time in some social mind hunting experiment. Either you love or you play the game. If it's game then it'll never end up in love it'll be short relationship. So stop wasting time in life, find someone who prefers to have a good time with you instead of playing with your head and testing patience.

[nirvaman 1]

Hey dude , you want advice about your relation with this girl ; leave her and go find a real Girl in your age and without children.You think she's falling in love with you , and you think you do , but it's just hormones !!You did speak about everything about that girl , but not about her children , if you will have a relationship with her , you need to take care of her children , are you capable to do so?You are still young *23 years* is a good place to start your life from , find a girl , fall in love , get married ..that's life dude live it like the others.

[Rael IAK 0]

You could always try asking HER what she's thinking instead of asking us to guess at it.

[missy2205 0]

As you mentioned, in your statement, she has three kids and that the bit that you should realise. Its not that she if still banging another guy but she is evaluating your intensions. For starter girls are different from boys in their maternal instinct. When A girl has a kid the whole dating scene changes. We stop thinking just about ouselves but also the future of our children. Many guys dont get the, they still see us in the same eyes as they would a single girl with no responsibility. Let me explain further. If a girl has no kids shes cool and you kick it as you called it. Everythings is cool cause if she spent the night over at your house there is no child who will be sleeping with out mommy as a result. That girl is a free agent she can bang a thousand guys and that all fine. Yes people will call her dirty names but they wont really care.Now when you have kids the ball game is the same but the rules are different. If you all kick it and she spends the night it means her kids spent the night alone and had no one to cook breakfast and maybe even dinner. This time if people call her dirty names for banging a thousand men and leaving the kids alone at home, the cops and social services will get involved. Now forget social services and also look at this. One thing I have noticed in many single moms is that they also judge your character as a father figure to their children. Its easy to come and whisper sweet nothings into my ear, kiss my neck and turn me on but the thing is what role model are you to the kids that see you. when I say the kids I mean the kids I have. Do you have time for them. If things got a littl serious between us wouldyou help me raise them for the better or would you be child number 4 and be more bad influence to the children. Now im not saying replace their dad Im saying the way to that womans heart is no longer through her pant but through the happiness of her children. If you are kids person by this i mean you have a people person who is good with people and hence a kids person we will assume in this thread is someone good with kids. If you are a kids person, then thats going to make things a whole lot easier cause I'd tell you to give a little more attention to her kids. Dont jump from zero to a hundred in one go but start to spend time and build a relationship with her kids. Get the kids to like and appreciate you and help them with things like homework or reading depending on their age or take them to the park without her. Show her you wannt to be a part of her life not just try and get into her panties. You do that and she will start to visualise a future with you as part of her family. Every mother wants a happy familiy and if her kids are happy then she will be happy with you. and trust me she will open up like a lock when you turn the key.Now I dont know what your intentions are whether you just wanna play her and get back at her cousin or what but bear in mind that this woman has children and when you get into a relationship with her its a relationship with her children too. If they are going to see you wake up in the morning coming from mama'a bedroom then they will know mommy is in love kids are not stupid. But also if this a game to you remeber you are teaching those kids that its okay for grown ups to change lovers especially if they go through life seeing different men come out from mommy's bedroom every few months. You have to be responsible either you are in it for the long haul or just stay off women with kids cause when you break up with her after that you are breaking up with the kids too. For them its another daddy that has rejected them. So by the time they grow up they think I had 5 daddys and they all left us. Its a whole complicated life once kids are involved. So becareful as you tread on this one. Rememeber the only reason she doesnt wanna kiss you on the lips is because for most girls a kiss is deeper than sex. We find a kiss is more intimate than sex. So once we start kissing you we already want more than just a kiss. Its okay you turn us on cause that feels good and to be desired makes us feel alive and valid but its another thing letting you take everything we can ever give like sex and love. So think about that next time you see that girl.Ask yourself if you wanna date her and the kids and not just so you shag her but for the sake of having a family with three kids from the onset of the realtionship. The question should be are you ready to be a father.To answer you i doubt its a test or a game but just the fact that you dated and almost married her cousin will get the family talking and trust me its ok if they talk and you guys a re having a great relationship and get married and have a good future cause then you can say it was meant to be. But if you shag her and leave she will be judged by her family as the girl who stole her cousins boyfriend and destroyed her cousins future. So hence why she may be a little more carefull about it all