First Rap Song Lyrics Feedback

[xMixTapeManglax 0]

Lyrics for my first rap Its actually a invented sex remix Its on my youtube channel you can add N sub if you like http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/
but heres my lyrics:
I love her persistance
help you when you stuck road side assistance
this aint ps3 so please no resistance
he keep bumpin heads with me no collisions
Im her superhero spiderman shes mary jane
but im something like Batman not Bane
I tell her we can make magic like David Blaine
and Our love is something that a cage cant contain
she could be my fiance, but without her Im like Destinys child without beyonce or avatar without 3D or maybe even Young money without weezy
and she dont ever go to bed with him
call me the inventor something like Edison
I know im sick but you could be my medicine
money over b*tches and thats for my own benifit
Can i get some feedback Thanks!

[evilsmiley25 0]

That is actually a really good rap there, nice flow and rhyming.You should post some more of your work, and let us see how talented you are.

[anwiii 17]

i like the lyrics alot. the mix could have been done better though. you have a lot olf talent though. keep the creativity flowing.....

[xMixTapeManglax 0]

i like the lyrics alot. the mix could have been done better though. you have a lot olf talent though. keep the creativity flowing.....

lol thank You! I know it could have been done better I just wanted to upload asap bc my laptop was going to be fixed the next day & I was not right at the time (read description lol). I also need a better mic haha thankx 4 the Feedback I really appreciate it

That is actually a really good rap there, nice flow and rhyming.
You should post some more of your work, and let us see how talented you are.

thankx I think lol Btw nice sig I love bleach no people think i hate anime bc I rapp