Cyber Bullying How serious?

[sheepdog 10]

Watched an episode of the good doctor Phil the other day, and I have to admit I was truly shocked by his statistics on cyber bullying. I know there are lots of school age kids here; I thought it would be interesting to get some of your input on this subject. Is it really that bad? How many of you have been victims of cyber bullying?Of course, there was no such thing as cyber bullying when I was a kid in school, but we had our bullies of course, but it would be like maybe one or 2 per class, no where near the 50% Doctor Phil suggested. But at least those bullies did actually personally confront their victims. Even if they were twice their size they did their bullying in person. I fail to see the satisfaction these cyber bullies get from attacking someone anonymously. How is anybody going to think you are big and bad if your do your attacking from behind a computer screen? To me, that would make you out to be more of a chicken than a bully. I simply cannot get my head around the type of mentality that would make a person get pleasure from ruining or making someone else?s life miserable.

[sonesay 7]

Yes it does seem really silly that someone can get any level of satisfaction out of bullying someone online. I don't know to what extent some of the bullying can get to but I've only been exposed to people trying to insult me in an online game LOL. I see that as just a pathetic attempt for the other person to make them selves feel better by putting you down. I don't personally let it affect me at all. I would be concerned if you took what people said to you on the internet seriously. Kids are more likely to take insults more personally so it's possible they are really being victimized in this way. I think the only solution is for parents to educate their kids and bring up their self esteem so that these types of cyber bullying is just ignored. You cannot get ride of it since its so easy to hide behind a screen and say what you like.

[Phoenix.Illusion 0]

Yes it does seem really silly that someone can get any level of satisfaction out of bullying someone online. I don't know to what extent some of the bullying can get to but I've only been exposed to people trying to insult me in an online game LOL. I see that as just a pathetic attempt for the other person to make them selves feel better by putting you down. I don't personally let it affect me at all. I would be concerned if you took what people said to you on the internet seriously. Kids are more likely to take insults more personally so it's possible they are really being victimized in this way. I think the only solution is for parents to educate their kids and bring up their self esteem so that these types of cyber bullying is just ignored. You cannot get ride of it since its so easy to hide behind a screen and say what you like.

Same.I dont yet it affect me.
I remember one time on here when -sky- cyber bullied me.

[anwiii 17]

oh i think i can answer this one. i'm 41, but i've seen a lot of that b.s. in the past along with other internet abuse. i believe there are several reasons for this.

1: a person can be whoever he/she wants to be on the internet and nobody will ever know.

2: insecurity

3: you can get away with alot more on the internet than off the internet(not getting arrested...etc..)

4: indentities are well hidden most of the time and the internet offers protection to the bully

5: bad day/week/month/year

6: some people still think the internet isn't the real world and doesn't take it seriously even if the one getting hurt is taking it
VERY seriously

you'll see the abuse more on the internet directly and indirectly for these reasons and more....but i've listed the major reason. although these may be the reasons, it doesn't make it right. the internet is just another form of communication when talking to others. i wouldn't say i was ever a bully, but i have had bad days before where i just want to vent and i don't like people getting in my way. the internet is sometimes the only resource to vent sometimes where nobody else is around off the net. i wouldn't catagorize my past as being a bully, but it has bordered it sometimes when i can get someone to argue with me
i am far from an angel but i think it's kinda sad when people intentionally hurt others and prey off other peoples weaknesses or insecurities.

the solution to the bullies is easy. BLOCK THEM. don't talk to them. if in a chat room, go to another chat room and report the abuse to whoever runs the site. i never liked a snitch, but if getting hurt online, and you go to the same school, get the parents involved and the school administration as this could be connected to a situation in school. also...the most important thing a person can do to protect themselves from the bullies online is feel secure with themselves. the more the bully gets a reaction, the more the bully will continue his hurtfull ways knowing what he is doing is working. it's important to be secure online and offline. if you are, then you couldn't possibly get hurt by any words said online. easier said than done, but insecurities affect a lot of people and they really need to work on feeling good about themselves as a whole so nobody can touch what they know about themselves that is good, honest, and genuine. if a person is secure enough, then they should just have the mindset that they are a better person than someone trying to hurt them and just ignore them. if ignored long enough, i gaurantee 100% that bully will move on. that is my gaurantee.

online bullies are weak minded people at that specific time for whatever reason. but there IS a reason. maybe this person is depressed or insecure or had a really crappy day. if one is secure and strong enough, one might want to think about the issues behind the hurtfull intentions and slowly work your way in to finding out what the real probelm might be and possibly befriend this person....because in most cases, these people need a friend....but that is absolutely NO excuse to hurt someone verbally or do other things that could be hurtfull online

ive been online forever and seen it all. when i say all, i mean EVERYTHING sadly enough when it comes to hurtfull people online.

Watched an episode of the good doctor Phil the other day, and I have to admit I was truly shocked by his statistics on cyber bullying. I know there are lots of school age kids here; I thought it would be interesting to get some of your input on this subject. Is it really that bad? How many of you have been victims of cyber bullying?
Of course, there was no such thing as cyber bullying when I was a kid in school, but we had our bullies of course, but it would be like maybe one or 2 per class, no where near the 50% Doctor Phil suggested. But at least those bullies did actually personally confront their victims. Even if they were twice their size they did their bullying in person. I fail to see the satisfaction these cyber bullies get from attacking someone anonymously. How is anybody going to think you are big and bad if your do your attacking from behind a computer screen? To me, that would make you out to be more of a chicken than a bully. I simply cannot get my head around the type of mentality that would make a person get pleasure from ruining or making someone elses life miserable.

[LastCause 0]

Cyber bullying? Thats just dumb, how can u get bullied online? Like internet arguments? Thats just stuped haha

[SpiderVV 0]

Nope. Like hacking other computers, websites, make offensive jokes in the internet, post (for example) pictures of yourself doing something funny all over the internet, et cetera.

[LastCause 0]

never happened to me so i dont know

[anwiii 17]

this isn't a laughing matter. you make light of this again, i'm gonna get on your A**!!! this is actually a serious issue that others need to be aware of and i'm glad dr. phil did a show on it even though i never knew that or watched it.

people are gettin' hurt out there and all you can do is say it's stupid and laugh and stick your tongue out. like i said in my original post, i have seen it all. i have seen people commit suicide over abuse online because they were depressed and insecure already and your ignorance is no excuse for taking this topic lightly. if it never happened to you or you don't care about this topic, post in a topic you do care about because personally, i don't mind being banned for standing up for what is right.

so if you want to continue to take it lightly and laugh about other people gettin' hurt out there, and you tell me it's never happened to you....i can tell you right now, that can change instantly for you. you've been warned...

never happened to me so i dont know

[LastCause 0]

i just dont get it. How can you get hurt? If you dont like the stuff just close the page?

[sheepdog 10]

i just dont get it. How can you get hurt? If you dont like the stuff just close the page?

Let me explain.

Some people are very sensitve, and their feelings can be seriously hurt when they are insulted, or teased or harrassed in other ways on the internet. You are lucky if you can as you say, just close the page, and forget it. Not everyone can do that. So many people are just insecure allready, and cannot take that type of critisism. There has allready been one case of suicide related to cyber bullying. While I feel that anyone who would go to that extreme over a bully is probably allready suffering from other mental health problems, it still has negative effects on even more normal people.

[anwiii 17]

if you don't understand it, don't laugh about it. become more aware about it because it really is a killer. although i am glad dr. phill expressed a short segment about it, i doubt it covered everything one needs to know about it. i have written a lot about it from my knowledge being around it and seeing it. sheepdog has as well. this is what this thread was about. to inform people of a serious issue going on that not many understand.

sensitivity or insecurity is a serious issue here and it's not as easy of turning off the screen. that is not the solution. the solution is minimizing the # of bullies and getting rid of the problem. your theory is like telling the whites to stay in one part of a neighborhood and the blacks in another part if they don't like eachother. this is called segregation and more resentment and hatred has been fed off this. the past dictates that that solution doesn't work. everyone should be free to go anywhere they want without the fear of being bullied and hurt. if they have spent hours and hours someplace and enjoyed themselves, and then a bully comes along and ruins the atmosphere....everyone is supposed to leave or turn off the computer? hmmm

the solution is to minimize the abuse. the only way you can do that is to lower the #'s of the bullies.

when a bully starts abusing someone, they usually target only 1 or two people at a time. they keep that # low on purpose because they really don't want to argue with the whole world. they prey on the weak people and weak people give off invisable signs for bully's to target. usually, bullies are kinda smart with that psych game they play when they bully others. the worst possible thing a person can do to defend against an attack is to play the bully's game. the bully will usually win. so when being attacked online, it is very UNWISE to attack back because attacking back will only add fuel to the fire that the bully created and the bully will have that much more ammo to use against his victim. bully's are usually male. not female...although i have witnessed female bullies who were experts at what they do but those females are far and few. that should tell people something right there.

sheepdog says she knows about 1 instance of suicide. i know of two that happened in the 90's. i actually knew the victims sadly enough. although one slipped through the system and can laugh about what he did or whatever these bullies do to find their own comfort in what they do, the other one wasn't so lucky as i believe a family member of the victim to care of the bully for good. there have also been incidents after that that suicide was the ultimate result of the victim. i am sure there have been many, but nobody usually knows the truth about why people commited their own suicide death unless they write a note to explain in detail.

if you have never been a victim or witnessed it, consider yourself lucky because i have seen lives changed for the worse because of it. even just turning off the computer after being victimized does no good sometimes because the victim will hide in their rooms feeling more insecure than ever before. the damage has already begun. they will think about all the things the bully has said even if it's not true. the reason why this happens and is so successfull for the bully is because they only prey on the weak who isn't strong enough to defend themselves properly by ignoring the constant words the bully uses as ammo.

you also get the extreme cases where a bully is so successfull at one place on the internet, he will follow the victim(mainly female....but a lot of male victims too) to other sites if the victim needed a break from the bully. in some instances, the bully gives no break time and stalks their victim online.

now the only reason why i know so much about this crap is because i was heavy in to chatting online...even before the www when we used bbs's to communicate. i was good at striking back at bully's. looking back, i feel it was the wrong solution because to really defend against a bully is to become one yourself. but instead of striking at someone innocent, you strike at the bully. i later realized that USUALLY, a bully is almost just as insecure as a bully's victim so when they find someone better at their little game than they are, they usually leave and find someplace else to play their game, OR they start feeling over powered and listening to the one playing their own game and now damage to the bully takes place over time. i feel this was the wrong way and felt bad sometimes when sometimes a bully is don't what they do to get attention anyway they know how because all they really want is a friend.

the most dangerous situation is if the bully doesn't consider the internet "real life". this was the case back in the 80's and early 90's. a lot of people didn't consider the internet real life. i always tried my best to fight others against that concept because the internet was ALWAYS real life. that's like saying the phone isn't real life. just because technology and the way we communicate has changed, doesn't mean it isn't real life. sometimes the bully will use this excuse and tell others not to take it serious....but it never enters the mind of this type of bully that this IS REAL LIFE for people.

now this is a good key to understanding a bully situation where they themselves don't consider it real life. in their mind, the internet is NOT real life, they can be whoever they want to be, and they ARE without any remorse or regret. this tells me the bully wants an escape from real life. why would a bully want an escape? because the bully is insecure their own selves. it's logical deduction. that's why i said my bullying the bully wasn't really a good solution back then when i didn't know any better, but it did save a lot of people more than 1 bully.

back in the day when bullying was rampid, we use to have user meets. i would attend them. what's funny is that the same bullies online would attend these user meets after gaining many enemies. where would these bullies be? hiding in a corner. they have absolutely NOTHING to say to anyone. so this is another key to understanding a bully.

most of them ARE insecure and most of them DO want and need a friend, and most of them want to be accepted. the bully just made it that much harder for himself to be accepted offline by his actions online.

the real sad part of the bully is that the bully normally doesn't really know the damage he is creating for other. i have found this to be true since i have know a lot of bullies. at the user meets, i would usually be the one to confront the online bully and get to know this person on a personal level. it enabled me to get it the mind of these people. helping me kill two birds with one stone. to try and convert the bully in to being more respectfull and that would usually enable me to introduce him to other people where he wouldn't have that need to bully online anymore, and it also gave me fuel to fight back with the other bullies online.

now unfortunately, alot of people aren't strong enough to stand up to a bully. this is a REAL problem. so all i can do is help people understand the mind set of most bullies....but if one can just ignore the bully. not say one word to the bully, the bully will move on. that is my 100% gaurantee! the bully always wants a reaction. this isn't really a solution for the bully because the bully will just go find another victim. BUT it will help the one being bullied at the time.

the real solution to minimize the bullies is to get in their mind set to understand what their needs may be and possibly lend them a helping hand that everyone needs in life(but in different ways for different people).

another solution to a bully is to over power the bully in #'s, but that doesn't work unless the bully is in a chat room of some sort where 10 or more people are talking amongst themselves. this is why i siggested getting the parents involved and even the school administration(principal, vice principle or dean etc...) because i believe now a days with all the social networks, the problem may be originating at the school the bully and the victim attend together.

i'm done for now. i really do hope this sheds light on this serious issue because it is FAR from a laughing matter and ignorance is not an excuse to laugh and make light of a situation where people DO GET HURT wether you understand it or not.

i just dont get it. How can you get hurt? If you dont like the stuff just close the page?

[LastCause 0]

yeah you make a good point there bro. I just never had a bully i guess. It seems a problem in America, here in Canada i havent met at least 1 bully. I apologize for my other posts