mew1033 0 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAthis is friekin hillarious. these are ACTUAL AND REAL things that were on church programs."The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals."The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon tonight:"Searching for Jesus."Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of thosethings not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands.The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to aconflict.Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," givingobvious pleasure to the congregation.Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for moretransfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes ofPastor Jack's sermons.The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir willsing: "Break Forth Into Joy."Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in thechurch. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition ofseveral new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled.Proceeds will be used to cripple children.Please place your donation in the envelope a long with the deceasedperson you want remembered.Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment andgracious hostility.Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation wouldlend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use theback door.The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Churchbasement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend thistragedy.Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church.Please use large double door at the side entrance.well now u can go thank all those church ladies with typewritters! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
byrdhouse 0 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 Thank you for sharing these, they are truly funny. As a Christian I think it's good to laugh at ourselves sometimes, especially if we make silly mistakes. Thanks again,Byrdhouse Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
krap 0 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 very funny i love those errors that some people make. today in school the teacher kept on going on about how "our souls go to heaven" which sounds like "a**eholes go to heaven" which at the time was very funny hahahaha me and my friend couldnt stop laughing :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman 0 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 Oh goodness...those are classic!My personal favorite: Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.Lovely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
football123213 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 yea Ok man i dont even under stand that stuff lolbut am not anything so what ever Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Eruntalon 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 Yeah, those are great. I had something like taht forwarded to me on e-mail once. My favorite of all of the like that I have ever heard has got to be this one:"7:00 tonight. Join us for our weekly prayer meeting. A bean dinner will be provided, Music will follow."How on earth don't they catch any of these? I sometimes wonder if they plan these on purpose.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GuySpook 0 Report post Posted February 5, 2005 i dont really understand wats so funny so im staying outta this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
