The "r" Word By the R word I mean Relationship - advice

[sarahscope 0]

So as you may or may not know from a post about a month ago I have been seeing an older guy on a regular but casual basis. We have started having an intimate sexual relationship only recently and I really enjoy spending time with him.It's coming up to a month from us first hooking up and although I'm happy as things are I don't really know where we, as a couple together, stand. When I have mentioned "us" or "making things official" he brushes it off with a joke. To be perfectly honest this didn't bother me when it was only two weeks or so but as I say it's nearly four weeks and I think something needs to be said one way or the other. What do you reckon?The truth is, I was happy being single so its not really important that he turns around and declares an undying love for me, it's not that I was seeking a full on long-term committed relationship. Whatever happens I'm not going to stop seeing him just because he doesn't want to be my boyfriend, we have good times together. I just need to know one way or another. What's the best way of going about it? Letting him know I don't mind, but equally not acting like I don't really care. I do care. I just want to know where I'm at.Advice if you please....ThanksSarahScope

[Saint_Michael 3]

**RED FLAG**His brushing off about making the relationship more is the signal that he wants to keep it casual and nothing more and that is what I reckon and so I would keep it casual which means no knocking boots every time he calls because that isn't a casual relationship and sure there are people who are sex buddies, although there is a different term for it, but I doubt you need one of those relationships at your age. Of course, you need to find out if he wants to keep it casual or not and so you have to talk to him about it because the signal is there you just have to hear him say it.

[anwiii 17]

what's your problem if you like hanging around this guy who initially wanted to get a minor drunk? the same guy works in an official capacity in the administration of the school you attended. ya, i remember you well. all i can say is you get what you deserve from here on out. i told you this in the "older guy" thread you created and i will tell you now....ou will get HURT if you continue seeing him.

BUT! what i don't understand is what your problem is. you say you will continue seeing him and obiously all he cares about is sex with some spring chicken. nothing more. ofourse he is going to brush you off. you mean NOTHING to him but sex. a relationship? HA! you two have nothing in common until he gets you in bed. aside from that, wake up and smell the coffee. he will never want you in any other way. if he ever does, i would fear for your well being because he has already proven how he can control under age women.

this guy is scum and if you don't take my advice now, i don't want to hear your whining anymore....especially when you say right up front you will continue seeing him wether it turns in to a relationship or not. don't you have friends that can help you through this? i am sure they'll say the same thing i am saying to you....harsh as it may be. personally, i don't want to see you hurt so i hope you just wake up from your little fantasy world that this older guy will love you enough to marry you one day.

and sorry, but you are VERY VERY young and know VERY LITTLE about true love and relationships. i assume that's why you post your issues here but why post your issues and help if you don't follow good advice? you that desperate to be with a guy or what? because i am beginning to think there are some underlying issues here.

So as you may or may not know from a post about a month ago I have been seeing an older guy on a regular but casual basis. We have started having an intimate sexual relationship only recently and I really enjoy spending time with him.