gotcha41 0 Report post Posted January 22, 2005 have you ever experienced it, you made a mistake and in some way, the other person just refused to forgive it, even if it was a little, tiny incident ??!... I can't imagine something more annoying than this....; when you show sincere regret, it should be forgiven, that's a sort of personal rule I use... Everybody makes mistakes , don't we? .. people who refuse to forgive aren't really honest people in relation with others or in relation with themselves..! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpiltBlood 0 Report post Posted January 22, 2005 well show them the same gratitude or lack of gratitude if you will. If they refuse to forgive you then just pretend you dont care its the easiest way to make them jealous or if they truly dont like you or want to be your friend they arnt worth it. Heres an example theres this girl i hang out with all the time and she just stoped talking to me one day and refused to tell me why so i just acted like i didnt care and poof she started talking to me like 2 days later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gotcha41 0 Report post Posted January 22, 2005 well show them the same gratitude or lack of gratitude if you will. If they refuse to forgive you then just pretend you dont care its the easiest way to make them jealous or if they truly dont like you or want to be your friend they arnt worth it. Heres an example theres this girl i hang out with all the time and she just stoped talking to me one day and refused to tell me why so i just acted like i didnt care and poof she started talking to me like 2 days later. 42333[/snapback] that's a nice trick you are saying there . But I think it's now a little to late for that, now I can't act anymore like i don't care, it has been a couple of months now! I have to decide - as you said - if they are worth my efforts.. In such a long time, the problem should have been solved.. (if it depended on me) maybe they aren't worth it after all..thanks for responding! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuburbanalCuts 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2005 well, don't HATE them. then you're doing the same thing.you should check out this book: Why Forgive by Johann Christoph Arnold.Read the description on the page. Then buy it for that person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Fu Still Better 0 Report post Posted January 23, 2005 Yea, when you do something nice for someone, they should thank you.But when you do something mean to someone, and ask for forgiveness, they should forgive you. You asked nicely, and you deserve the apology.But if it was really bad, then you can forget about it. >_> Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
squishybear 0 Report post Posted January 24, 2005 oh well... forgiveness comes at the right time and place. just timing... you know... when all the rage and bitterness are gone! and sometimes it depends on whta you did to the person... =) its nice to forgive thought cause when you do... you have clearer conscience... and gives you a nicer feeling... (though revenge sounds a bit good!lolz -- ) but warning: it doesnt do any good! =) and karma baby! lolz... anyways... nice to forgive... though sometimes hard to forget. o well... just be aware of life's lessons. =) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
qingtian 0 Report post Posted January 24, 2005 Well you know what they say, it usually does more damage to the person who won't forgive then to the person who won't be forgiven. All the same, I don't think you could really hate the person for not forgiving you, but probably be pretty annoyed? You said that "people who refuse to forgive aren't really honest people in relation with others or in relation with themselves" What do you mean by that? Refusing to forgive someone doesn't make you a dishonest person, it's better then saying you forgive someone when you really don't? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gotcha41 0 Report post Posted January 24, 2005 Well you know what they say, it usually does more damage to the person who won't forgive then to the person who won't be forgiven. All the same, I don't think you could really hate the person for not forgiving you, but probably be pretty annoyed? You said that "people who refuse to forgive aren't really honest people in relation with others or in relation with themselves" What do you mean by that? Refusing to forgive someone doesn't make you a dishonest person, it's better then saying you forgive someone when you really don't? 42923[/snapback] "annoyed" is indeed a better term . With my quote (the part you mentioned) i wanted to say it isn't ethically right to refuse to forgive when the incident is - when you look from a distance- not so bad at all.. qintian said: "Well you know what they say, it usually does more damage to the person who won't forgive then to the person who won't be forgiven." This is an interesting theory! it really is.. thanks for responding! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Caveman 0 Report post Posted January 27, 2005 More suggested reading: The Sunflower, by Simon Wiesenthal  A harrowing autobiographical account of a Jewish man who is summoned by a dying German soldier asking for forgiveness over a number of atrocities he commited during wartime. Wiesenthal was silent, and he asks you, the audience, what would YOU do if you were in his place. The edition of the book I read contained some responses from some VERY distinguised people (i.e. the Dalai Lama, Dith Pran). Very interesting stuff, and you get a lot of unique perspectives.  The debate of under what circumstances forgiveness is justifiable is right here. An excellent read, in my opinion. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Milk 0 Report post Posted January 27, 2005 Yeah, that is pretty annoying. I think if you are personally, truly sorry and you can forgive yourself for doing whatever you did, then you're fine. If they can't understand that you were sorry and don't accept your apologies, then they're stubborn and should not be bothered with. It's no good to get stuck on these sort of things. Just move on and maybe they'll realize what's wrong, or if there's something more you're not telling us...>_>'But yeah, if they honestly refuse to forgive and forget, then they just don't get it. Unless it was a huge thing...=/ But if you really want them to forgive you...I mean, 2 months is an awful long time to hold a grudge. Tell them to get over it and if they still don't, then find someone else to hang out with or whatever. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
clergyq 0 Report post Posted January 31, 2005 It doesnt do any good not to forgive. People make mistakes, we are after all just human and perfection is something that we can never attain but only strive for. I personally can forgive almost anything but have a harder time forgetting. because altho ive forgiven the person I dont want to get burned twice. Maybe the person that lacks forgiveness has just been burned to many times, not by you but by others Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
