You See, Theres This Girl.. And Im Crazy About Her Please Help! is she lying or does she really want to be with me?

[spyder24xxx 0]

Ok i never did this before but have been reading some of these things and some stuff seems to be pretty helpful so i figured id try it out. I need some help figuring out this girl ive been dating on and off. I am 23 years old and she is 22 years old. We both met while working together for about 4 months or so while she had a boyfriend. Before i ever met her i had already knew alot of her friends and was kinda cool with some of them.

Around early May of this year is when we started to talk/date. It started when she broke up with her ex and i soon found out from her friend who worked with us that she liked me and i should go for it. So at first we just flirted and talked alil more at work so i knew she had a hunch that i was going to ask her for her # or somthing. So about a week later i did and we started talkin on the phone and textin quit often. When we started talkin i soon realized alot about her that i really liked and alot of things that we had in common. She would always say she felt the same way as far as that stuff went. When we would talk about her ex she would say how he was such an *bottom* hole and always tried to buy her heart. She would say she wants a guy who treats her right and loves and shows his love for her because he truely feels that way and loves her for who she is not try and buy her love. Pretty much there i was like wow she is like perfect for me. and it seemed like everything was going to go perfect. And it did for awhile until now im just simply confused.

So we talked for about a week or two and finally we went out on our 1st date. it went great. then we started hangin out more at my house. i was actually suprised she wanted to spend the night and what not pretty soon before we were actually together. But we started hangin out alot more and doing some things here n there but mainly hangin out after work and spendin the night and occasionaly goin to the bar or out somewhere. As we were talkn and hangin out for about 3 weeks or so. i felt like she wanted to actualy be with me and i knew i definetly wanted to be with her. So we set up a date one night i bought her flowers for the 1st time..had dinner.. went out on the city overlooks and seen fireworks .. and i asked her out while we were out. and she said ya definetly.. so that was it.. things were perfect from then on.

Things only started getting kinda wierd when i noticed we kinda wouldnt do normal things. Like we would hang out late and spend the night together and then work together the next day when we hung out. We would go out to eat or movies or do other things here n there.. But it seemed somtimes like she didnt wanna do certain things.. but i ddint pay much attention at 1st because when we were together things seemed perfect and when we werent i trusted her and didnt feel any need to think anything. So we dated from about the end of May till the end of June and thats when we broke up.

The break up came on a night we went out to the bars/club with her friends for her friends birthday. We had been out at a bar before together and everything was fine. Im not into it as much as she is but i do it and i usually enjoy myself if i actually am out with some of my GUY friends as well. But on this night i was with her and all her friends and only one guy friend who is basicly whipped by his girlfriend so wasnt talkin to me much at all and i felt kidna awkward. On top of that before we went out she like warned me she was gonna be with her friend the most since its her bday which is understandable.. but from before we went out where she was like acting wierd till we finally met at the bar i was feeling really wierd about the night. Like i had a bad vibe like something was wrong or something was up. We went to a few bars and i started feeling really unconfortable because i was basicly all alone like her friedns were jus talkin 2 each other n my one friend really wasnt aroudn jus arguing all night with his girl.. and when id try to be around her she would kinda jus stand there n not talk much. So i kinda felt like i wanted to leave.. i mentioned it to her and she kidna jus acted like she was gonna stay wit her friends since its her bday which i understood.. but i really didnt expect her to jus say" go head leave im stayin out wit my friends" i was hopin shed be there for me n like make me feel confortable but it jus seemd like she didnt want me there. So while on our way to the one bar i told her i was going to leave. and asked if she could talk to me before i did and she started to then went and was messing around with her friends while walkin to the nxt place and she just went in the bar with out me and i jus was like wtf ?? i didnt wanna go in so i just got a ride home. i was texting her she was textin back basicly acting suprisd i left. i was kinda mad but she was tryin to be all nice and askin why i did it and stuff n i jus told her how i felt. How i had like wierd feelings all night and she didnt seem to care. She really didnt say much. But i started gettin all emotional and bein kinda buzzed i jus said somthign i wasnt sure i should say. I told her i think i loved her. She was just like in shock and was saying how i know that and how i can say that so soon. By her saying that i knew rightt here she idnt feel the same. And that hurt. She left me feelin like *BLEEP* after that. Then she jus stops textin me and i finally hear from her like a hour or so later and she texted me and said" i cant be with you any more" We then talked about it and she was sayin how she couldnt believe i left and couldnt believe i told her i loved her. And she was sorry she ddnt feel the same way. So that was why she broke up with me. To me all i could think was that regardless wat i did that night or wat i said made her decision. i felt like something was wrong that whole night but she would swear that nothing was going on it was just what i did and said. But at this point i was pretty upset and confused. I mean deep down i felt like i did love her i mean its inexplainable how i felt. I mean am i wrong for feelign that way so soon? i mean all the time we spent was picture perfect and everything about her was perfect to me.

So we break up for whatever reason she gave me which confused me completely. We still kinda talked but when we did it was basicly jus me tryin to make her explain everyting over n over to understand. And trying to make things work and be with her but she just was being stubborn and it really hurt me. I would keep saying how i wish she would jus admit she has somoeone else or something is wrong and she would deny it everytime. So we stopped hanging out but would talk occasionally. It was kinda wierd because we still worked together and while at work i was miserable because i was confused.. But i stopped bein miserable and jus tried to be happy and get along wit her while workin . It seemed to work because at least we got along and could talk here n there. She knew i still wanted to be with her though but i just didnt think she wanted to be with me. Turns out she tells me shes till likes me but she thinks we moved to fast and we need to chill ou or w.e.. at ths point she started wantin to hng out here n there.. and now it seemd tome she jus wanted to be ***k buddies. now we were mainly jus hanging out at night and not doing much else.. but she would say just take things slow n let things play out if we got together again then we did if not then we ddnt.. so i jus chilled out and let things play out. .

We went on like this for about a month before things started gettin really wierd in my eyes. I started noticing wierd things she was doing and how she would act different all of a sudden sometimes. First thing i noticed was she started leaving her cell phone in her purse everytime we would hang out and seemed like she never wanted me to use it like she was hiding something. When id ask her about it she would act like i was bein petty but she actually started to leave it out and let it be seen finally and i felt alil better. Another thing was when we first started hanging out again i was using her phone and noticed my name wasnt in her phone any more. I asked her about it and she said because i didnt want to c your name popping up every second because i knew youd be blowin me up n *BLEEP*. which made no sense to me but only made me think that she didnt want whoever else she was talking to if anyone to see my name thats all. She denied everything and said she hasnt been talkin or anyting wit anyone else. I still felt kinda unsure but let it go and we would continue to tallk and hang out. Then i started feeling kinda better about things and thought mabe she would wanna be together again.. but i didnt wanna rush things so i waited.

Then all of a sudden things started getting wierd again. I would text her occasionaly if i had somthing funny to tell her or some crazy news and one day she like flipped out sayin how i alwayz blow her up and i need to chill out. i was confused why she was actin like that.. We kinda stopped talkin as often and hangin out alil less and when we would hang out she didnt seem to interested in ME jus was there n thats it. So i started askin her why and what not but it just made her mad and we basicly completly stopped talkin.. so i said screw it and gave up and stopped bothering her. I figured if she feels anything for me she will come around. but basicly she ddint.. she was alywaz on my mind but a few weeks went by with out us talking and i became alot stronger and basicly realized she was talking to someone else even tho i had no proof. I stopped workina t the place we worked at but id be there occasionaly to see a friend of mine.

So about 3 weeks of not talkin went by and i had no clue what she was up to or what was going on just knew we werent talking. I seen her up at work when i stopped up and she didnt talk to me and i didnt talk to her but i was talkin to her friend. I asked her friend why she was acting that way and she acted like she didnt know but seemed like she jus didnt wanna answer. but she said i dunno text her sometime n see. So i gave in and texted her that night. I kidna jus tried joking with her to see wat shed say and she txted back. I would ask her if she was happy now and if shes with someone and she would say no. We kinda started to text and talk on the phone alil more at this point. We did so with out hanging out for about a week. When her friend asked me about going out for some party thng at this bar i was thinkin about it but then the day before she basicly gave me a hint that i shoudl come because she (the girl) wanted me to come and id be happy. So we talked about it and i decided to suprise her and shwo up and i did.. we hung out at the club danced alil and had fun and it was our 1st time seeing each other or talkin in person. She ended up at my house that night and i took her home the next day. We then started hangin out here n there n went out a few times. When we would talk about wat went on when we werent togheter or talking she would deny having or bein with anyone and i foudn that so hard to believe.. and would basicly just beg her to tell me the truth like it didnt matter if she had someone then jus ad mit it.. but she would jus deny it. so i said whatever and went on..

We actually started doing some stuff together not just hangin out late at night at my house but did that more than anyting else. When we would talk sometimes she woudl say thing slike " if were meant to be together we will be, and she said she still liked me and what not and tellm e how some songs made her think of me. like stuff that i didnt expect her to say considering how she acted last time we were together. She started acting alot more affectionate with me and makin me feel alil better and not makin it seem like it did before when i thougth she jus wanted to be f*** buddies. We continued to talk and hang out here n there for a couple weeks. We then set up a date for this past week (Friday,Saturday).

She said she wanted to go out with some friends to the bar on Friday and wanted me to come so we did that. It went great we got along and i didnt feel uncomfortable at all. It was a big difference from the last time when i felt really wierd. We spent the night at my house. Our plans for saturday was going to dinner and she said all weekshe wanted to go to the drive in. so we did that and it went good we both had fun. She stayed at my house that night and i took her to work Sunday. I was suposd to pick her up from work but she called me and asked if i could pick her up from her friends who works with her. I didnt really get why but i did it. So on the way home we got along things were cool and as we got to her house she asked if she could just call me tomorrow (monday). I was kinda confused but wasnt mad. Jus never expected her to say that. BUt i asked why and she said because im tired and i wanna just get a shower,eat and watch this movie. i said whatever then i guess thats fine jus didnt expect you to say that. she kinda said ok w.e illca ll you n jus say goodnight im like no forget it jus call me tommorow i guess and she said she would before work. I never got a call before work or after work.

All day i was thinking about all of this and wondering what was going on and what i shoudl do if and when she called or if i shoudl call her. I didnt think anything bad was going on at all considering we had such a great time over the weekend but i jus didnt get why she didnt call me at all like no matter waht ever happend before that made me think somthing was goin on she never just didnt call me. So Tuesday morning i wasnt gonna call but then i said ill jus call and see if she is even home. She was and we talked for 5 mins . She didnt even really say anything at 1st i was just like so when did you plan on callin me she siad i didnt call you because i didnt want you to be sick of me . which was just ridiculous. i said why would i be sick of you are you sick of me she said no. Since i woke her up i said ok just callm e later i guess then if you wanna talk. and i didnt get a call all day or night from her.

Now im like just sooooooo confused. i dont know if shes just testing me to c if i call or just somthing is wrong and she is seeing someone else and doesnt wanna talk to me right now. what shoudl i do????? If anyone can help me with any of this it would be much appreciated. I dont get what is going on now and id like to know what anyone thinks about what went on before. I might of missed some stuff but i think i touched on alot of it.
Edited September 24, 2008 by spyder24xxx (see edit history)

[Lightning73 0]

First off, I just wanna say I feel sorry for you, breaking up with your girlfriend and all.I know it must really hurt and I hope everything will work out for you.About feeling that you love a girl so soon, that's perfectly normal. Actually I was surprisedI read she didn't love you back. It's true that guys love a girl sooner than a girl loves a guy though. After reading more of the story about the crazy things she was doing. It looks to melike she was definately hiding something. And you're not in her phonelist, wtf?? That's not normal. It's most likely she was just hanging out with you at that momentbecause she was bored and had nothing else to do.I think the part about her thinking about you when she hears some songs is cute.I can definately see why you're confused, and you have all the reason to be as well.It could be that she's just really insecure about herself, or that her friends are tellingher lies about you. Like he's playing you or w/e. It might be that, because her frienddidn't want to talk to you either. I really think you two should either just go somewhere quiet, sit together and talk it out.Just see what happens and what she'll tell you. Just ask her friendly what is happening toher or why she is like that. And above all, don't get mad at her if she tells you somethingunexpectedly.If she doesn't want to do the above, I suggest you really get her out of your mind,and just think about other things. Go out with your guy friends, meet new girls and be happyagain.

Edited September 24, 2008 by Lightning73 (see edit history)

[spyder24xxx 0]

Could you please split your story up in different paragraphs. I tried reading it but it gave me a headache and I lost where I was after a while...

ya i will try

[anwiii 17]

I might of missed some stuff but i think i touched on alot of it.

no, i don't think you missed anything bid. in fact, i don't think we need to hear the whole story to give some good advice. i can tell you care for this girl alot. so i will try to be gentle. first of all. you can't possibly love someone who gives you the brushoff and someone who always makes you feel uneasy.

 

so with that said, it takes two for a relationship. if her heart isn't in it, it wont work. if your heart isn't in it, it wont work. move on. if she wants to be with you or has any sort of the same feeling you have for her, she will tell you. if not, friends is all you will ever be at the MOST which i doubt you will just want to be friends with her....

 

as far as the bar story on her birthday, you need to get to know her friends so you can join in on the conversations bud. it was her birthday. HER day. that wasn't a day to be selfish. it wasn't YOUR day.....it was HERS.

 

so maybe you're giving mixed signals too.....

 

also, if you want a better response, try to cut down your posts to 20 lines. no need to write a novel when most people will not even dare read it all and where it even gives some a headache

[aegreatone 0]

that was a headache to read. First off, let me ask a few questions:did you have sex with this girl? Threw all that babble I heard staying over the nights and stuff not once did i hear you say u got laid...just a question.my advice:Your screwed. Your in love with this girl who it's obvious in your post doesn't have the same feelings. I wish my blog was working because on top I touch on the topic about how being emotionally attach will only be your downfall in relationships...when it comes on you should read it, it's at the top.but to give you a lil bit detailed and specific advice is let her go. She doesn't have the same feelings nor can she be trusted. It's obvious she's doing some stuff on the side that she doesn't want you knowing. Get rid of her. Next time you find a girl. Try not to think with your heart. Use ya head.

[spyder24xxx 0]

that was a headache to read. First off, let me ask a few questions:
did you have sex with this girl? Threw all that babble I heard staying over the nights and stuff not once did i hear you say u got laid...just a question.

my advice:

Your screwed. Your in love with this girl who it's obvious in your post doesn't have the same feelings. I wish my blog was working because on top I touch on the topic about how being emotionally attach will only be your downfall in relationships...when it comes on you should read it, it's at the top.

but to give you a lil bit detailed and specific advice is let her go. She doesn't have the same feelings nor can she be trusted. It's obvious she's doing some stuff on the side that she doesn't want you knowing. Get rid of her. Next time you find a girl. Try not to think with your heart. Use ya head.

yes we had sex.. i jus didnt feel the need to state it.. but yes we had sex alot.. lol.. at one point i actually thought thats all she wanted was sex.

no, i don't think you missed anything bid. in fact, i don't think we need to hear the whole story to give some good advice. i can tell you care for this girl alot. so i will try to be gentle. first of all. you can't possibly love someone who gives you the brushoff and someone who always makes you feel uneasy.
so with that said, it takes two for a relationship. if her heart isn't in it, it wont work. if your heart isn't in it, it wont work. move on. if she wants to be with you or has any sort of the same feeling you have for her, she will tell you. if not, friends is all you will ever be at the MOST which i doubt you will just want to be friends with her....

as far as the bar story on her birthday, you need to get to know her friends so you can join in on the conversations bud. it was her birthday. HER day. that wasn't a day to be selfish. it wasn't YOUR day.....it was HERS.

so maybe you're giving mixed signals too.....

also, if you want a better response, try to cut down your posts to 20 lines. no need to write a novel when most people will not even dare read it all and where it even gives some a headache

ok thanks for the help.. but i might of mistyped something because it wasnt her birthday it was her friends birthday.

[armondtimesbelize 0]

It should never just be a sex thing and if that's what it has become u need to consider ur options. Sex will always be great once the person nos ur likes & dislikes and has time 2 perfect them. u need to remind her of the qualities in her that drew u to her in the beginning and ask her what she liked about u? and tell her wen u love sum1 u don't try 2 change them they change on their own accord. give her some of her own facts see how she likes it lol. but for something fast caz if u carry on cheating and she ever finds out you'll become the bad guy no matter what ur reasons were. good luck

[Scoutmann 0]

You know girls are mysterious territory man. Trying to figure them out is like trying to bend over backwards and kiss the ground, its alsmost impossible. Take me for example, theres this girl in my school i like, shes pretty, smart, and beutiful, her eyes, her hair. I said to myself she can't be interested in me, and that very same day she stuck up a convesation and the next week she did it again. (We are on an Independent study and only go to school one day a week.) And i sometimes see her looking at me. But where i live its not a possibility to date. (Mountains is where i live, and she lives in the city over an hour away)My advice is ride it out, and maybe when you all were being f*** buddies she got pregnant and these are her mood swings. Or maybe she is a moody, crazy self-centered person (no offense). But either way good luck!

[anwiii 17]

ok thanks for the help.. but i might of mistyped something because it wasnt her birthday it was her friends birthday.

nope! my bad. i misread it. sorry. now it makes sense. i was thinking it was her b-day which would been screwed up. BUT it was her friends b-day. it sounded like it shoulda been a girls night out. sorry, but you shoulda read the signs and knew better and let her go out with her friends. this whipped guy that was there probably bought a purse for the occassion so aside from him, you shouldn't have been there at all!

now i understand it better. no wonder why you felt left out haha. so learn to read the signs in the future, be prepared and willing to give the one your with some space. sometimes bud, they don't want guys around. they can have that on any regular day haha this was a b-day and they wanted to let loose probably so you bad for even going. now you got jealous and left out? well that's nobody's fault but yours. that's alright. your still young. you'll figure out women better in the future....but don't ever expect to figure them out FULLY haha