Life Can i really go through this again?

[krazygoddess 0]

Well some of you may have read my posts in the past, I just recently went through something horrible in loosing my mother to lung cancer. Well alot has happened since then, which is to much and to hard for me to explain someday maybe, but anyway jumping ahead my kids and I have moved from Washington state to PA, We are (or where) temporarily staying with some friends. Her husband works out of town all week long and she has some medical problems, so its a good thing we are there. Anyway her medcal problems consist of some cancerous spinal tumors, She has had them for years and has in the past refused radiation and chemo. Recently just a couple days ago she had to go to the hospital for some really bad pains in her chest, at first they thought maybe a heartattack then they thought galbladder and after running many tests they admitted her to the hospital and kept her for 3 days. She is out and at home know but during that three days we still dont know what the pain was tht caused her to have to go in, in the first place. But after alot of tests they found more cancer. Some tumors on her liver and in her ovaries. Between the two of us we have 9 kids. i have 4.5 the .5 being my daughters boyfriend who is with us, and she has two at home and two older. And she is no longer gonna be able to put of the chemo and radiation. She has to start this asap. I know I need to be strong but then I think can I really do this again?? it was just a couple months ago that I lost my mom to This same disease. It takes a very hard toll on the person and there support group. And I have to be strong for her and her kids. I still feel I need to seek out counciling for going through this and alot of other personal stuff from the last couple months. But now I feel like I wont have the time, I am working now 30 hours aweek and going to be taking on this new responsibilty with her and I am just not sure I can do it again! She is scared to death I am scared to death and I know she needs me now more than ever. I have a feeling I will be coming here alot and posting and maybe venting. I do believe in God, Im not a church going person but for the most part I do believe I pray alot and have been praying a whole lot more lately, somethings I just dont understand like how can God do this to me again. Can I really handle going through all this again? I know no one here can give me the answers im looking for but I have a feeling im gonna be needing some good advice and maybe a good friend or two. Thank you all for listening to me. And all my posts before this, I thank you all for the great replies.

[sheepdog 10]

I am very sorry to hear about your difficulities. There is one thing I try to remember during difficult times like this. It is quite simple really, but worth remembering. What does not kill us makes us stronger. We all have trials in our lives and how we handle them is what builds our charector and makes us better human beings. Some of the things you went threw with your mother can now be applyed to the strength and experience you will need to help your friend get threw her ordeal. It does sound like things will be really tough for you. If you need councelling, get it. Or post here, there is a great group of people here that can help you with moral support. And sometimes, it just helps to be able to spit it al out and get it off our chests. That can be a big relief alone. You hang in there, we are all pulling for you!

[cangor 0]

Wow, I can't even begin to understand what you're going through, and I'm not really sure if there's anything I can say that will help you at this difficult time, but I think most importantly you shouldn't give up hope... My mother is a breast cancer survivor and is living proof that existing therapies, as well as prayer and a lot of love and support can cure cancer, so just keep hoping and praying that your friend will recover. I too believe in God but do not go to church, and one thing I firmly believe is that God doesn't send sickness on people and he doesn't cause ANYONE pain and he's not doing this to you. So keep praying. No matter what you (this is going for everyone out there) believe, or even if you think God doesn't exist, prayer can help to get you and others through hard times, and there's no down side...I hope that all goes well for you and your friend recovers.

[Saint_Michael 3]

Just like the previous posters, there is no way we could understand what your going through right now and I don't want to sound harsh but your friend is more to blame on this she should have taken care of herself earlier instead of letting the cancer grow in her. Sad to say, but it could be to late for her and she should look into getting the family ready for her passing, but I could be wrong though and stranger things could happen with Chemo, but it is a long shot for her. I know you wouldn't dare leave now because of what your friend is going through, but I think the only way you can get through this is talking about it and what not. That is the only good advice I can offer to help you get through this and of course being able to support her as well and making sure your kids and her kids support each other and both of you as well.Try to hang in there and just pray for positive stuff to happen as you try to understand and deal with the tasks that are in front of you.