I Need Some Advice.... alittle confusing..

[Cesto Ode 0]

Well, im not too sure on how to put this one, its alittle bit of a tricky situation.

 

to be blunt about it, and not bore all of you to death, i have not accidently got two girlfriends... and i really dont know how to sort it out.

It started last year, i was 16 and went on hoilday with this girl "Sammy" that i have known since i have been born, my best friends cousion. i have liked her for a while, but the weid thing is, she is now 19 im still 16. We started out just talking like normal, but we experenced some amazing things together, we travelled around egypt, diving, sky diving, sailing, and getting drunk at the pool and going to bed in the early hours of the morning. i dont know weither it is "Love" as such, but i do know i feel strongly for her, and she clains to love me too.

Due to the MAYJOR Problem of her living in france, st Tropez, yes i know, thats rather far from brighton where i live, but that did not stop us, for the first month she came to england for a weekend and i went to france for the weekend, everything was amazing. But then she was given a placement on a course of hotel managment for 6 months, so we slowly lost contact, four months into it, i kind of gave up on the idea of her still being intrested. and started seeing this other person " Hollie" for the two months i was going out with her, we had not argued once and everything was so amazing, i was suprised with how well it was going..

 

Than BANG the problem, guess who turns up on my doorstep, sammy, we had alot to catch up on, and it is as if all my feelings for hollie have gone out the window and sammys have flown back in. and as we 'WERE' seeing each other, and we did not end it, she assumes we are still seing each other, i have not told her im seeing somebody else, because i do not want to lose her, or for her to lose intrest in me. i think that i love her, i want to be with her, im starting my apprentiship and she is moving to england (She can speak english as well as french) i really dont know what to say to who, i was wondering weither anybody could possible help me out on that one?

 

Thanks for reading,

Ben..

<LEFT " RIGHT>

<Jacquie (her god-mother), me (Yes i look like a n*, Sammy (The girl i like), Jamie (Her cusion)

Edited January 2, 2008 by Cesto Ode (see edit history)

[bee312 0]

Ok first of all your really not in the wrong thats actually somewhat understandable what happened. I mean you lost all contact and a few months had gone by, but maybe you and sammy should have talked about everything before she left. And before you and Hollie got together you should have told her about sammy and explained to her what you just explained in your post. Secondly, if you really have strong feelings for sammy don't let hollie be in the dark of it all. The last thing a girl wants is to be made a fool because her boyfriend keeps her in the dark. I don't know either of the girls but sammy seems to be a pretty down to earth girl so sit her down and explain to her what happened, and make it be known that you really would much rather be with her. Believe me she should understand. Now you need to tell hollie i don't know if she will take it as well, but if that was me i would really like to know the truth before i was to find out for myself. If she finds out herself without you telling her she make think of you as a lier and a "player" Let Hollie know you still want to be friends (thats if you even want to be, -remember, everybody has room for friends in their life-). Anyway, like i said sammy is a very pretty girl and seems to be very intelligent, she will understand. As for hollie thats all i can really say because you really didn't tell much about her. Be HONEST, Be RESPECTFUL, and i wish you the best! Hopefully some of this will help you,Good Luck,-Bee

Edited January 3, 2008 by bee312 (see edit history)

[musicmaza 0]

Well cesto ode,I once had a similar problem like the one you are having.But the only difference was that I loved a girl and her sister both.So there was no problem of going far way to meet my girlfriendsBut both the two sisters loved me.I Also didn't knew what should I do,But then after thinking a lot I decided to chose only one of two and I chose the one who was my classmate and whom i knew from class 6th.Here I am not telling my own problem but just i want to advice you that choose only one of the two girls.Choose the girl you like the most and whom you know more.But Its your wish to have both or choose one.But you mentioned that Sammy is 19 and you are 16,but that shouldn't be a great problem as in love there's no age bar.Sammy looks pretty and caring too and you if you really love her then you should have already told hollie about sammy and then made her understand that you love sammy and not her,but you would still be her friend for lifetime and help her whenever she needs the help.so Its not late yet,sit down with hollie and make her clear all things which you made in your post.BUT DO IT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE AND BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF IN SOME SERIOUS TROUBLE.

Edited January 3, 2008 by musicmaza (see edit history)

[Cesto Ode 0]

Wel, i told hollie what you suggested, but now she seems to either sending me ona guilt trip on purpose, or honestly thinks it is her falt. she keeps telling me she is sorry and she can change i dont know what to do, ignore it? it is rather annoying that i find myself here, talking to you about it, but honestly if anybody else knew i just dont want them getting pissed with me. as all my friends are her friends now, so if i was to split up with her now, i just wonder whos side they would take, there would be no way of us remaining friends would there? as i pretty much want to leave her for somebody else.

[osknockout 0]

Dude, you probably want to talk to your friends about this too. I've been there and done that (with a few exceptions). If you guys really share good friends, then she'll be able to talk to them about it to make some more sense out of it all -and she'll be able to accept it a lot quicker than if only you were talking to her about it.You should also -gently- tell her that you want her to leave for somebody else and that none of it is really her fault.

[Cesto Ode 0]

yeah i have not told her im leaving her for somebody else, to me it just seems alittle harsh, dont you think???

[bee312 0]

You have to tell her the truth buddy. and make sure you point out that it really isn't her... you and sammy have a past together that was left untied. and you really want to be with her. but you really don't want to hurt her. she has to know, and it may hurt her, but in the end its better she knows. and eventually she will realize that. just be patient, and consider her feelings.

[jlrr94 0]

I think that ur heart is kind of making u decide, u can't be in this situation ur whole life and that's why u need to choose, love is very important and if I were u, I'll tell Hollie that I love her but the love that I feel for her isn't so strong and that the relationship may not work, now u said that Sammy is going back to England so u can start with her something special, remember that the age isn't an obstacle for love.GOOD LUCK BRO!