How Will She Ever Learn? spoiled rotten, and will never change

[bee312 0]

Ok so basically im sick and tired of my boyfriends younger sister shes 16 and gets her way on EVERYTHING. She told my boyfriend that he isn't her brother if he is with me. We have been together for 5 years believe me nothing will change that. He was nice enough to add her to our cellphone lines. Well she took advantage and ran us $500 into overage charges. We had been telling her for 3 months that she needed to straighten up and watch the minutes. Well running us into that much in overages was the last straw we called customer service and had her cellphone reported lost. She told us she hated us both. The following day my boyfriend went to her house and took the phone back. She thought she could be sly and take the sim card out and put it into a different phone. We already knew she had done this, and before he left with it he took the back off and found there really wasn't sim card in it. She then told everyone she hated us. She wouldn't go to the family Christmas party because of us. 2 days ago her father went out and got her her own plan with a brand new cellphone. She is failing school because of her new boyfriend. She isn't made to go, and she lost her job. My step father told me and my boyfriend to just let it go and not get so worked up, but we are watching sink lower and lower, and her father isn't doing anything about it. Shouldn't somebody take action? And even if we did what can we possibly do? She doesn't listen and she's impossible to talk to. She has been like a younger sister to me for 5 years. Do i just sit back and listen to her tell everybody im nothing to her...because of a cellphone??? Thanks for listening to be vent,Always,Bee

[strange-garden 0]

She sounds like a typical rebelious teenager to me.If I were you, I'd lose all contact with her. Her father will soon realise she has an attitude problem when she starts pestering him and not you guys. Because she's 16, he's the only one who has power over her.

[Saint_Michael 3]

Spoiled brat comes to mind, and the best way to deal with them is don't give them the attention they seek, and although its your role, somewhat, to help support her (bear with me on that) only she will realize that the decisions she makes would affect her. It is obvious the father doesn't want to deal with it because he letting her get away with it, and as cruel as it may sound let the reality check she needs happen to her, and that would be doing something stupid and letting the moron get her pregnant. Of course if she is smart enough she won't let it happen but from the brief description of hte boyfriend he will provide that reality check to her, and of course the world is cruel and so if she doesn't straighten up before she's on her own, that will be another reality check for.I would assume you tried the be a friend technique and letting her get to know you? If not try and see what happens, and if you have and it didn't work, then like I said like fate help her figure out things.

[bee312 0]

Spoiled brat comes to mind, and the best way to deal with them is don't give them the attention they seek, and although its your role, somewhat, to help support her (bear with me on that) only she will realize that the decisions she makes would affect her. It is obvious the father doesn't want to deal with it because he letting her get away with it, and as cruel as it may sound let the reality check she needs happen to her, and that would be doing something stupid and letting the moron get her pregnant. Of course if she is smart enough she won't let it happen but from the brief description of hte boyfriend he will provide that reality check to her, and of course the world is cruel and so if she doesn't straighten up before she's on her own, that will be another reality check for.

 

I would assume you tried the be a friend technique and letting her get to know you? If not try and see what happens, and if you have and it didn't work, then like I said like fate help her figure out things.

As cruel as that sounds its really the only thing we can do now. And yes her getting pregnant will probably happen with the loser shes with.

 

well see before all this we were very close, so it really hurts and i don't know how i would take it if something like that really happened you know? but i have always been a strong believer in fate...so maybe your right. and hopefully the father plays his part before something bad happens. I really do think its going to end up being her that gives herself her own reality check. We believe that her BF is going to leave her and she will be left with nothing but a failed education and no family and friends, but she only has herself to blame.

 

Also strange-garden does have a point... the father is really the only one who has the power to straighten her up. But if you knew him you would realize that isn't ever going to happen. She is daddy's little girl who gets away with murder.

Edited December 28, 2007 by bee312 (see edit history)

[MiniK 0]

Maybe she's having some relationship problems herself. If she is, try to imagine it from her view: You and your boyfriend are having serious problems but you know your brother is doing really well with you. Your anger starts to gradually build up and you can't stand the fact that your brother gets to have a nice life and you has nothing. You'll start to try and get back. You start to wreck your brother's relationship so that you and him are equal. After all, you and your brother came from the same place so why should he have more than you, eh? At least like this, you won't be alone in your troubles.Anyway, that's only if she might me having problems herself in the boyfriend area.My advice is: go and talk to her. Start to talk to her about the way she's feeling; if she's happy. If she won't answer you, try to make it as visible as possible that you don't really care. Try and do something that implies that you aren't particularly bothered with her. This will get her angry because she isn't receiving the attention she is expecting. If she tries any method of getting your attention, just ignore her. First try and talk about general things and if it works, start to talk about more personal things like her relationship. You two could be the best of friends if you want to be, let her know that she can think of you as a big sister, and if she has any personal issues, she can always talk to you in confidence.You might not want to take my advice for obvious reasons, but I don't mind. I'm only trying to help. =]

[bee312 0]

Well i honestly don't think she is having boyfriend problems, she seems pretty happy with him. and we have tried to talk and she pushed everybody away. so your advice on ignoring is probably the best solution as cruel as it may sound.

[Saint_Michael 3]

Gotta love Daddy's little girl syndrom, but MiniK does make a point that your boyfriend is having the good life and she is not, so jealousy could be part of it, just think about the actions she done to you two or or individually amd it could shed some light on it. Problems with the boyfriend don't have to be specific usually if compare her life in general you might get a better response.Usually it takes someone to reach the lowest points in their lives before seeing the light, kind of a lame saying but it might stikr true with her sooner or later.

[bee312 0]

Usually it takes someone to reach the lowest points in their lives before seeing the light, kind of a lame saying but it might stikr true with her sooner or later.

Thats true and hopefully more sooner than later. I mean shes only 16, thats kind of a young age to start hitting some extreme lows. you know? but then again i guess it is around that age where you start to hit some low points. hopefully she learns from them.

 

Im just not going to bother with her anymore. Im not gonna bring my life down for her. i mean i love her to death but eventually shes going to realize who has always been there for her. and when/if that happens then ill consider talking to her. but its pointless right now. and like everybody has been saying once she sees that we really don't care and she sees us living our lives with out a care for her, hopefully, she will snap out of it. But thats a big "hopefully". But honestly i don't think i really care anymore anyway. It did really make me mad, but everybody is right. Why give her the attention she wants?

Edited December 29, 2007 by bee312 (see edit history)

[sheepdog 10]

I have yet to figure it out why they call it "sweet 16." That seems to be about the age most teenagers turn into raving monsters/lunitics/ or idiots in general. You can't tell them anything, they know it all, and by gosh you better not even try because they have the whole world allready figured out. Lay the law down and stick by what you tell her. Be her friend as best as you can, and be supportive but don't put up with any crap from her. Eventually she will grow up and see the error of her ways. Maybe. Hopefully.

[Bluebear 0]

She sounds like a typical rebelious teenager to me.If I were you, I'd lose all contact with her. Her father will soon realise she has an attitude problem when she starts pestering him and not you guys. Because she's 16, he's the only one who has power over her.

Typical? I know that I am nothing like her.
She sounds spoiled, I think she just needs some more rules. She needs consequenses for her actions. If nothing works you can always call Nanny 911. (Just kidding) Maybe she needs to realise how her actions could have consequenses for the rest of her life. If she fails at school, what will she do? I am no expert, but it would work with me.

[Saint_Michael 3]

Sheep you just reminded me of that STUPID show on MTV about kids having their Sweet 16 parties, of course you can really see how spoiled some kids are and act just as bad or even worse then the bee's bf's sister. Of course when your rich brat you can act anyway you want I guess. Reminds me you can send her to a boarding school as they can give her a nice reality check there.

[bishoujo 0]

It sounds like she may be suffering under the stress and unhappiness of school and maybe problems with her boyfriend. When spoilt and pampered people face minor problems that we may think nothing of, they lose their heads easily. I agree that you shouldn't give in to her or give her the attention she doesn't deserve. But have you tried talking to her about her life? Like maybe asking her if she is facing any issues in life that's causing her to behave like this, rather than just chiding her for her behavior. She's probably jealous that everybody else around her seems to be having a great life and she's not, that's why she's behaving like this, to attract attention.

[bee312 0]

But see honestly i dont' think shes having any problems..she gets EVERYTHING she wants and when she doesn't get what she wants from somebody she pushes them away like a piece of garbage. We mean nothing to her anymore...and i have come to the conclusion i really don't care anymore. It hurts to sit back and watch her screw up her life, but theres really nothing i can do. Her dad still spoils her and just a few days ago her father took her side and pretty much threw me and my bf to the curb. So me and my bf talked and we are doing what we think is right...and we are just going to deal with our own problems right now. They can live their lives and we are going to live ours. And in the mean time we aren't going to let them bring us down. His sister is still trying to play her little games with us but we ignore them and lately she isn't as bad...because we aren't paying attention. However, she is still and will always be a spoiled brat, and I don't know about all of you but i think, once a spoiled brat always a spoiled brat. It's times like this im glad my parents raised me to work for what i want and be grateful for what i have. Sincerely, Bee