Making Friends?

[syncn21 0]

I bring to the table a fairly common situation, I think. I've read back a bit, but none of the ideas sit well with me...I've moved from the South to the Pacific Northwest. I've just graduated HS, and I'm starting at a community college here, as well as working. There's been a lot of upheaval in my life, and most of my friends and I have grown very distant, if only because I have a harder time relating to people if I'm not physically with them.Any assistance in learning to make friends? The last time I made a real friend was 4 years ago, and, well, I'm used to having them now. Extra info that just really isn't needed; I just feel like letting it out. Sorry...:I find my main issue is that I don't relate to normal things. I can't dance, I hate most popular music, I disapprove of underage drinking, I'm not sexually active, nor do I really care to be, I love talking, but about silly random things. I find it hard to share my feelings about serious subjects unless I really know what I'm talking about. I'm a *recovering* chronic liar, but I don't know how to get close enough to people to ask them for help...It's a new climate, with nobody I know here. I'm from a small town, I now live in a city. I'm lost, in so many ways...I've never had a job before, and now I'm trying to manage 30 hrs/wk and full-time school...The pity-fest lasted for three months. I know better, I know I must be at the beginning of a wonderful opportunity...could someone help me figure out how to take advantage of that?

[TikiPrincess 0]

I'm a *recovering* chronic liar, but I don't know how to get close enough to people to ask them for help...

I've read some of your other posts, and I questioned the validity of many of your statements. It seemed to me that you were just pulling random stuff out of the air to get your hosting credits back up. I mean, in one you say you've been dating a guy for 8 years and you have a house together, then you say you're just out of high school. Your story gets jumbled when you switch from first person to third person in another post.

Relationships are based on trust. If a person can't trust you, then the relationship will always be guarded and distant. If you're a chronic liar that can't keep your stories straight, then people will begin to see through all your BS and won't want to put up with it. And if a person can tell that you're lying on a forum, where it's just words without the body language and visual/auditory signals that you get from someone in person, then you don't seem to be a very good liar.

Just wondering, what steps have you taken to *recover* from your habit? Have you promised to stop lying or have you actually seen a therapist about it to discover the rationale behind your actions?

[registra6 0]

I've read some of your other posts, and I questioned the validity of many of your statements. It seemed to me that you were just pulling random stuff out of the air to get your hosting credits back up. I mean, in one you say you've been dating a guy for 8 years and you have a house together, then you say you're just out of high school. Your story gets jumbled when you switch from first person to third person in another post.
Relationships are based on trust. If a person can't trust you, then the relationship will always be guarded and distant. If you're a chronic liar that can't keep your stories straight, then people will begin to see through all your BS and won't want to put up with it. And if a person can tell that you're lying on a forum, where it's just words without the body language and visual/auditory signals that you get from someone in person, then you don't seem to be a very good liar.

Just wondering, what steps have you taken to *recover* from your habit? Have you promised to stop lying or have you actually seen a therapist about it to discover the rationale behind your actions?

hello dear for me i ahve seen what others are posting but i ahve these problem.. that is
i dont have any girl friend not that i am ugly or not having money but the problem is that i dont have love for any girl iam upto 19 now but still i never consider having one is it an immature life or it is natural but i have been trying to have one still on way what shall i do

[hitmanblood 0]

hello dear for me i ahve seen what others are posting but i ahve these problem.. that isi dont have any girl friend not that i am ugly or not having money but the problem is that i dont have love for any girl iam upto 19 now but still i never consider having one is it an immature life or it is natural but i have been trying to have one still on way what shall i do

Hmmm I wouldn't say that money plays big role when real love,of course if such thing actually exists, is in question. Moreover I think that money is the least important thing. However when you would like to get laid with some simple good looking girl then money probably comes to more importance then in the case when you really like and love girl and you let her know.

In my very personal oppinion I think that everyone should let others know that you like or love him or her. I think that world would be nicer of course if you would not make jokes on that part who just declared his or hers emotions because that can be really painful.

And to quote famous words: "Love is that what stays after initial appeal effect disappears.". Hopefully I got it in the right context otherwise sorry.

[chaosdesign 0]

I have been in only about 4 Real relationships, but those 4 relationships have taught me alot.A few points to ponder,1. if you have to lie to get peoples attention, then you won't make many friends, My ex is a Constant liar, she would tell someone one thing, and another person another thing, not realizing that they know each other, and find out that she was lying.2. Whats wrong with being yourself, if you be yourself people are more likely going to want to be your friend, than if you pretent to be someone else, i tried that a few years ago, and it doesn't work for long.3. Find people that are interested in what you want to do. 4. you don't have to be sexually active to make friends, I personally have never used sex as a tool to make friends.I know that people can be mean, but if you stay true to yourself, others will admire that and will want to be your friend.