My Mom Can't Speak Anymore, How Do I Deal With This? Aneurism - strokes

[CouplandRob 0]

Hello, new user here, I couldn't sleep so I thought I find a counseling forum and ran into this. I guess I'll start why my mom can't speak. My mother had an aneurysm in her brain a couple of years ago (7 years I think) and had multiple strokes, I can't remember how many, I think it was like 4-6 strokes maybe? Anyway, she has no feeling in her lower jaw, muscles in the tongue, lips and nerves in the the finger tips so she isn't able to grasp things firmly, for example not able to hold a pen and write correctly. Now, myself? I'm 23 years old and I'm a concept artist doing art work for video game companies for freelance and just received a job offer in Florida, so hopefully that goes well. I'm a positive person, outgoing, love to hang out with my friends, very nice person to everyone, I believe god is love and/or good morals (I'm not sure what to keep believing but morals are looking good for me right now), observant, humble, kinda confident but I like to go head on with challanges, I'm a Gemini, very open, love hardcore death metal (Darkest Hour, Zao, Between The Buried and Me, Carnifex, etc.) and open to music as well like Counting Crows, Wallflowers, Muse, Skinny Puppy, Chrono Cross and Princess Mononoke soundtrack, etc.). I grew up in a not so good neighborhood. There were too many bad Influences and I'm glad I didn't turn out like all the bad kids as a smoker and a drinker...and most importantly, a father, lol. Well, that's pretty much me in a nut shell.So far me dealing with my mom not talking? I know it's not an easy thing to do, nor do I know if I'm doing it right. I'm the oldest of 6 and I stand proud and strong for my brothers and sister to see that. My family may be broken, but I'm trying my best with trying to talk with them and if they need to someone to talk to, I'm here for them. I may think I need someone to talk too, I don't know. Maybe it's me taking a lot of responsibility and not taking time to ease my pain. But I can't seem to sleep well now and days, I can't calm down, I dwell on the past too much with love life and family problems. I don't like taking drugs (medication) pills won't make me happy and I already know that. But I almost cried in my sleep tonight cause my heart was hurting a lot and I have troubles shutting off my mind sometimes so I stay up late just downloading movies or drawing and painting on my laptop something to tire myself out while being productive. It hurts when I have to tell people that my mother can't speak and it's frustrating when she tries explaining things and they nobody can't understand her. My mom use to be a great Realtor but now she seems to be a stubborn 13 year old and I know the surgery must have done some effect on that part. She is a very strong woman and I love her a lot, she can drive me nuts sometimes but I try to stay calm. I guess I need some guidance? anyone who have experienced this before? any kind of help will do. The only thing I know how to deal with this whole mess is be strong, keep my head up, be positive and most of all. Have love.I guess a g/f wouldn't hurt? I think I should love myself more than anything right now, I need help on that too.Thanks for reading,Rob

[benzkids 0]

can she still use her voice box, because if she can you could get one of those things that the people who have a bad neck have that makes sounds out of the vibrations in the neck. if she cannot use her voice box you could create a series of signs and have her point to them to communicate with you that way.sorry thats all i could think of:(a girlfriend could help you through this, so look around if you want.that is all i have to say

Edited September 7, 2007 by benzkids (see edit history)

[Mich 0]

I express my sympathies to you and your mother. This is not a situation that I have personally dealt with, but I ran a search and found the following book:

SPEECHLESS: FACILITATING COMMUNICATION FOR PEOPLE WITHOUT VOICES by a Rosemary Crossley.

 

There must be an apparatus out there that is a feasible answer. I found this patent.

 

I hope this is of help to you. God Bless

[Saint_Michael 3]

Same here, man that has to be tough but there are always things to help a bad situation, and being the oldest you have a lot of responsibilities as well. However, I think the best thing would be to help break down responsibilities between the siblings, that way you won't stress out. It obvious they know whats going on so they have to step and make things easier and help your mother out. I would also look into taking up sign language so you and your family can communicate it with her. Well a girlfriend isn't really the answer but I would say people that understand the situation your in that will be the biggest support you can get. Another thing I would like to mention and most likely your doing it this already, if you feel your going to break down and people are around I would leave the room for a few minutes and give yourself some time alone.I only can imagine how you mother feels because I believe she understands the pain and suffering that you are going through right now, but feels helpless about it, the best thing you can do is show her how strong you are even if the situation is pretty bad. Good luck and keep strong .

[CouplandRob 0]

Thanks everyone, you've been most helpful. I appreciate it. I'm learning little by little in sign language and the family takes time in helping our mother out. Her voice box still works but I think the voice machine up to her neck will be a little to distracting and would be more starring than her not speaking. I'm learning ASL on you tube right now, there is a cute girl on there with lessons

[bishoujo 0]

I few sorry about your plight. I can't offer any advice about taking care of your mum or communicating with her. You'll have to be patient with her. It's frustrating when people can't understand what you are trying to express. Maybe you can develop some other way to communicate with her without using speech or fingers? It must be really difficult, but you're family, so good luck and hope you pull through.Finding a girlfriend will not hurt as long as she's not the demanding sort who needs a lot of your time. You may even be able to find comfort and happiness in a relationship. So good luck with finding a nice girl.

[sheepdog 10]

I'm very sorry to hear about your mother. In reality though, you are lucky that she is still alive, those anurisims are very often fatal. It sounds like you are on the right track though, trying to be strong, and learning sign language, those are all positive things and ways to get around your mothers disibility.

[iGuest 3]

im 10 my mom can't talk she just groans and wines want want things to be normal again!