What Do I Do Now?

[Killzinator 0]

Hi. I'm new here...and I need some advice. (also, I would like to apologize in advance for the length of this post.)Ok, so theres this guy. I met him freshman year at college when we were both working washing dishes in the student center. We started eating dinner together after work, and had an English class and we became pretty good friends. After a while, I found out that we share a lot of the same interests and like a lot of the same movies, so we started watching DVDs on the weekends. Then Freshman year ended. So, it was kind of weird and awesome, because I started liking him toward the end of the year, and every time we hung out, I was all, "YES! I get to hang out with this AWESOME person!" But I was fairly sure that he only liked me as a friend (most people do-- at the time I was 5'10 and 235 lbs, and I'm not pretty like Queen Latifa or the girl from Hairspray either) so I didn't worry or think about any other boy-type problems. I figured that we wouldn't hang out as much because now we wouldn't have class together or anything, and our work schedules probably changed. But when I came back from the summer, I saw him moving into his dorm, he shouted my name and waved me over like we'd seen each other the day before... after that, we started hanging out more and more, and eventually it became apparent that he probably did like me. I am terribly awkward and have no boy experience. None. So, he would do things that should be really obvious as some kind of advance, and I would not get it. For example, we were eating lunch in the student union, and he said, "You know, the homecoming game is coming up next week. Do you want to go to it?" To which I responded, "Why? Neither of us plays football. I don't know anyone on the team. Do you have friends on the football team?" Sad times. The next day he had to ask me again-- except this time it was a less open ended- "We should go to the homecoming game together." So, we went and it was awkward, and I didn't realize that he asked me to go together with him until a week later. There were other examples of more weird things, but for brevity's sake, Ill just include the sort of maybe date we went on. So, a production of Anne Frank was going on at school, and I was going to get a ticket, but I knew he was going too, and I thought I would ask where his ticket was so maybe I could buy the seat next to his and we could go together. But, he beat me to the punch. We were watching TV, and he said "Oh, I have something for you." It was a ticket to the play-- and I was quite excited and thanked him, and he was all, "Yeah, I knew you would forget to buy a ticket." (Which I completely would have, except that HE was going to go, so it was on my mind. But I didn't tell him that, obviously.) So, my roommate said, "OMG, its totally a date, you have to wear a skirt!" (that's something else-- I do not get dressed up...ever.) I wore a skirt, and put on makeup...and it was horribly awkward because he wore his rattiest hooded sweatshirt (which I love, but I felt like a clown next to him). And he offered to hold my ticket because I didn't have any pockets, and I was all, "uh, oh yeah. That wasn't very wise...I should have worn something with pockets..." and he said, "Oh, ...no, you look nice." Yeah, so that was REALLY awkward. AND THEN we were 45 min. early for the play, so we went to the student center and had dinner, and it was awful because I was all dressed up and I looked ridiculous following him around...and then all of our co-workers were there because we worked there...ugh. Anyway, when we finally got to the play, we sat there not talking and not looking at each other until about half way through the play when our shoulders started touching...and I immediately thought, "oh no, I am taking up the whole arm rest!" and I moved away a little. Of course, then he did too, and the light bulb clicked. "Oh...OH!......." Yeah, so we sort of just sat like that, then our knees started touching...then the play ended and we walked back to the dorm in utter silence. At the end of the year there was another really awkward encounter where I scooted into the computer lab and told him I liked him, and he kind of laughed at me and said that he liked me too.So we hung out a bit this summer, and saw a movie about once a week or so, but this year he is studying in Mexico (I'm in Wisconsin) because he is a Spanish/TESOL major and (get this) is going to join the Peace Corps and teach children how to read and cool stuff like that. So I won't get to see him for 9 months, and I am having a really hard time with it. He doesn't have ready internet access either, so email is kind of spotty... Anyway, on to the problem. I really, really don't want to be one of THOSE GIRLS. You know, the desperate clingy ones that email over and over are annoying or stalkery. I'm also always afraid and second guessing myself because I am not very pretty. I lost a lot of weight recently (I'm only 183 now), but am still pretty stout. (LOL, it wouldn't be that bad, but he was a runner in high school and has one of those lovely lean builds.) I really miss him, and I want to keep in touch, but I am really afraid that I made up a lot of this in my head... So, its only been 20 days or so, and Ive myspaced him once, and his birthday is coming up, so I just dropped a card in the mail. Anyway, I want to know how to let him know that I care about him without being creepy/stalkery about it. I know I'm just being weird... but its my nature... meh- please help!

[tuddy 0]

Tell him directly how you feel. No humour, no *BLEEP*, no hesitation. Just take a leap of faith into the unknown which isn't all that unknown. From what you have said, I can quite confidenly gather that he has some liking towards you, wether or not it be more then friends is yet to be found out. Just when together just fins a nice spot together and tell him how you feel, and he'll tell you the same, the conversation will just flow.Dont worry about losing his friendship etc, if you're close friends he'll deal with it. If he has already gone away, can;t you handwrite him a letter? That is also much more sentiental then an email. Everyday, is stalkish, if he doesn't reply, weekly, not so bad. Just depends what you and how you say, but you have got to tell him how you feel, most guys aren't mind readers and he probably wasn't asking you out because he knew he would be going away and wouldnt get to see you, which would upset you and has!!