Heartbreak In The Worst Way Ever! ABSOULTELY CRUSHED:(

[sara207 0]

HAPPY: Where do I start...Im 21 years old and have hit rock bottom from of a broken heart...I fell deeply in love for the first time in my life, and couldn't have asked for a better man. Although he was 5 years older than me and a bit egotistical and cocky at times love is blind and I fell for him desparately...He loved me and I loved him more than anything or anyone in our lives...He treated me like gold, and suffering from depression for most of my life I was now happy and my life finally made sense..PURE JOY:After we had been together for a while he moved to another state and I planned to move in with him as soon as my lease to my apartment was up. We both always really wanted to move and it was the time.THE CONFUSION: Here is where the NIGHTMARE comes into play. As soon as he moved away he basically stopped talking to me with very little explination. I was ABSOLUTELY DEVISTATED. We had plans for the future, marriage, and even children. I felt extremely depressed, anxious, and sick to my stomac when I would think of him. It was exactly like a loved one had died. With very little comunication over the next couple months, I grew VERY confused. Questioning myself everyday. What had gone wrong, we were so in love, our relationship was close to perfect. THE ANSWER: It's been 5 months sense he left and I finally know what happend. As soon as he moved away he got another girl pregnant. Im guessing on a one night stand and he felt as though he had to step up and take responsibility by moving in with her and completely cutting me out of his life. I suppose he thought by not telling me what had really happened would have not hurt me as bad, but I am now hurt more than ever. I'm absolutely crushed. I cry everyday and feel as though I'm in a dark hold. What could have been will never be because of his mistake. We had it perfect and I'm hanging on by a thread thinking about what should have, could have been...Please help!

[truefusion 3]

There's no easy way to letting go. Expect more dark days to come, but also expect a day for it to end—for it will come to an end. I would suggest to stop contemplating on what should be and start contemplating on what is. I know you don't see this now, but believe me you will soon start accepting the fact that there may be others out there for you besides him. I would recommend that if and when you are planning on engaging in a relationship with another person, be sure to test them to see if they are truly the kind of person you want to be with the rest of your life. But be glad that you managed to figure out why he left, for it would have been far worse if you were still ignorant of that fact—for this will/should provide some closure.

 

It was exactly like a loved one had died.

Actually, if a loved one would have died, it would probably be easier to deal with—to whatever extent it may be. It's a bit worse to know that they're still alive.

[Mich 0]

I basically agree with everything Truefusion has said, especially about the dying matter. It is indeed easier if the partner has died. You allude to the fact that this guy is egotistical and cocky. This type of person usually doesn't really experience genuine love for others, but loves themselves through others, if you get my drift. In another way, he loved that you loved him because you made him feel he was in love. If he had really loved you exclusively, a one night stand wouldn't have happened, that is called cheating. I know you, at your age, will probably suffer a while from this breakup; as it wasn't just puppy love. Hang in there, it will get easier as time passes. You will never forget, but your will accept it and live with it eventually.

[Azriel_Stormbringer 0]

Because of getting someone pregnant it confused me and i left my gf for the one i nearly got married to. I realised what a mess i had made months after.I still live with the guilt of leaving someone i loved for the sake of a baby, and thats a year later.I hope you can get over it like my ex did and i hope you can find someone better

[master_bacarra 0]

i think it's part of the man's way of trying to prove that he's really a man by standing by his actions when he gets a girl pregnant. moreover, there are societies whose moral and ethical values are strongly backed up by its religion, which means that they have to marry the girl they impregnated. anyway, from the first statement, in this case there's nothing more manly in what he has done to you. i think you should have at least deserved to know his reason before hand and that it would be unfair on your side that he left you hanging on air. now that he has told you his reason for doing such, the only thing you need to do is closure on this part of your life, and that means absorbing everything and try to accept what had happened and move on with your life.i know finding another love in your life won't be easy, and for someone who has given a lot, lost everything without getting anything in return, it's going to be really hard. i said "without getting anything in return" because it's not called a relationship if only one side is the one who's giving out. it should be two-way. i remember during our psychology class our prof read to us a book, i think the title was "the missing piece". i don't know if you have seen the book before, but it's about a circle with a portion of it cut out. it rolls on tries to find the missing piece. and despite this relationship of yours giving you that "cut out part", you should go on with life try to find your "missing piece", meeting other "pieces" along the way, if they don't fit, it won't work out and you move on.i hope you would be able to move on with this one and try to enjoy yourself and your life first. you need to give yourself some time out. take care and hope this one helps, even just for a bit.

[tuddy 0]

All four before are right in everything they say. Don't hold yourself down in dwelling over a guy, that made the choice to get her pregant, not worth your time, move on from the "what could have been" to the "what will be". Set yourself as someone who will learn from past guys and know that whoever may come from this point on, you will not "love" as easily and for this, you and your relationships can only get stronger.I have to agree with Azreil, it is confusing for the guy when he is faced with someone he may love, on the other hand the mother of his child, but he made the stupid choice to get her pregant, and for that he cheated on you, not worth your time, and he will have to live with the fact the as Azriel is, I left and cheated on the girl I love, and now I have a child. And it's also these children that have it the worse growing up, fighting parents, maybe only one parents and it's hard for the child they don't have the freedom most children do, he'll live with that fact for awhile. You Sara, could have your time to cry and relieve some angry, then when your ready, go out with your friends, think another day, and i'm sure you'll find someone who is better not egotistical and loves you as much as you love them. You sound like someone who is kind, caring, loving and fun, and therefore truely amazing guy will come along soon. May not be many of them, but they will find you.

Edited June 18, 2007 by tuddy (see edit history)