KansukeKojima 0 Report post Posted October 13, 2006 My Remorse:Beneath this scarlet moon, I pour out my sorrow. Torrents flow from my eyes and hit the ground like drops of blood. O how great my remorse! My soul, heavy laden with this grief. How I wish I could kill the pain I caused, the treachory I created, But I, alone, can not. My Suicide:[intro] (This is the end I won't stand by and watch myself die All I'm doing is sharpening this excrutiating blade called grief Weighed down by my transgressions I won't live like this anymore) This is the end (End it now, end it now) This is the end (End it now, end it now) This is the end (Kill it now, kill it now) This is the end (Kill it now, kill it now) Killed, burried, and reincarnated Killed, burried, and reincarnated New life, new life, new life (Not like my old life) New life, new life, new life (Not like my old life) Resurected, a new man now (Never again, never again) I will not relinquish what I've found [Repeat song excluding intro] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
husker 0 Report post Posted October 13, 2006 I like it a lot, but I think you need a chorus in there. It can get a little plain if you repeat the lyrics again, so what you have could be your chorus. You need some more lyrics I believe if you really want it to be like a song. Great start so far, I like the idea of 2 people in it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
crud2008 0 Report post Posted October 14, 2006 Personally, I think the song sucks! I really dislike "artists" that talk about suicide and death!! If you really want to commit suicide then please go get some medical help instead of making stupid songs about it. I don't if it's just me, but I really think that bands that talk about death aren't really musicians or anything at all!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Kioku 0 Report post Posted October 14, 2006 Wise up, crud2008. There's a saying that all songs that exist are either about sex or death at some degree.Why get medical help? Life is being able to percieve the world around one's self and if they think becoming an inanimate object is so hot and cool, they can go right ahead. On to a more serious note, though.To critique it, I think it repeats itself a bit much and could become played out easily. I know alot of songs that manage to do that. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
apurva 0 Report post Posted October 15, 2006 I liked the song(lyrics) , amazingly written, the words seems to be coming out from a hurt heart.. And when a hurted heart speaks..you know the results just like this one.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
