Kinda Curious (Somewhat asking for Advise)

[Teri Luketic 0]

I'm not exactly the type of person to just hop on forums, or ask a group of people that I don't even know from Adam for advise, but I figure, why not just once in a while.

 

I was actually rather curious what people outside of my little community of friends think about this, and wouldn't mind the advise as well.

 

There's this guy that my family, and his family, aren't just family friends, but are practically family. I know, too many times the word "family" is showing up, but just deal with me for a little bit. Alright, so he's an introverted kind of guy, but if you ask him something, he'll usually tell you, and then can't shut up because he doesn't think about things that don't interest him. . .at least in the almost never kind of sense. He's the type of guy I've always wanted: musically talented, my religion, smart, kind, doesn't act like he's in gradeschool still, not pushy, comforter, and all kinds of wonderful qualities. He even meets what I don't need in a guy, but have always dreamed of having in the physical areas. Taller than me by plenty, brown hair and eyes, physically fit (and probably always will be. . .not like those highschool movies where the hot guy ends up looking like he's swallowed a blimp or something. . .and really not horrible on the eyes at all.

 

Why am I needing advise? Okay, I've actually got two reasons, but one of them has to come first, and it's the one I'm actually curious what people think about it in general.

 

1. He's twelve years older than me.

 

I'm going to be graduating from highschool at the end of this year, so it's not like I'm fourteen and having a huge thing for some adult or anything. I hate the guys my age in fact, unless they're the same personality type as he is, because then at least they've got heads on their shoulders and all. Most of them get on my nerves though, and that might explain some things. . .but I won't go into that.

 

In the past, he's fallen for a girl that's only nine years younger than him. Before he realized he was mad about her though, they'd had a conversation about age differences that popped up because of a magazine at a gas station talking about "cradle-robber" type relationships. He'd told her that age doesn't matter to him, and in talking to him, and other guys like him. . .that oddly enough I haven't really thought a thing about. . .don't really think of age in any way. Sure, they'll suddenly realize "hey! You just turned eighteen the other day didn't you?" but so long as you can carry on a conversation and don't act like an immature twit, you're not all that bad.

 

Most everyone in my little. . .okay it's kind of big. . .group of friends of several ages and backgrounds and the like, has said that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I've only asked representatives from such ages and backgrounds though, the ones I trust the most, and one out of those said that it was just wrong and almost had a conniption.

 

2. Even if there was something on his end. . .he'd never say anything.

 

Okay, I don't know that for sure. But he never said anything to the other girl. I must admit, he'd never really had the chance because of her step-dad, and the fact that she was slightly worried since she didn't feel anything towards him in that sense. But still.

 

I talk to him all the time. One of his fascinations is personality types. . .like the INFP and ENTJ stuff in the books Please Understand Me I and II, the first by David Kiersy and Marilyn Bates, and the seccond by David Kiersy. He is also a firm believer in complimentary opposites, even though, as is his personality, he will question it's worth at every turn. He spent half an hour, after I told him I could be three different personalities, all NF which is the base of his opposite, trying to figure out which one I am. His first question, "Well, what kind of guys do you find yourself being attracted to? Do you know their personalities yet or can you only tell me what qualities you found in them that I could help you figure them out for you." I'm not saying that it ment anything, because with him. . .it no doubt really didn't, but if anything, it does show how clueless he is. And if he doesn't think someone feels the same on something he wants to talk about, he doesn't bring it up.

 

Okay. . .that might have actually come out as a bunch of jargon. . .but I'm sure SOMEONE will be able to decipher it. And for those who only get what the first issue was, then PLEASE tell me what you think about that type of thing.

 

I think I ment to put this in "Relationships". . .oh well!

 

Please Understand Me

Please Understand Me II

Edited July 27, 2006 by Teri Luketic (see edit history)

[Cashed 0]

Firstly, if all your friends say its cool but one, why come here? Im thinkin that maybe you have plenty of negative thoughts about the idea? Secondly, how does he feel about you? And third, my opinion, I really think its wiser to search your own age for some one to your liking. Plus your in high school at your senior year, live it up, and have a good time, 'cause at his age hes probaly really looking to settle down.

[lawmatchmaker 0]

I'm not exactly the type of person to just hop on forums, or ask a group of people that I don't even know from Adam for advise, but I figure, why not just once in a while.

 

I was actually rather curious what people outside of my little community of friends think about this, and wouldn't mind the advise as well.

 

There's this guy that my family, and his family, aren't just family friends, but are practically family. I know, too many times the word "family" is showing up, but just deal with me for a little bit. Alright, so he's an introverted kind of guy, but if you ask him something, he'll usually tell you, and then can't shut up because he doesn't think about things that don't interest him. . .at least in the almost never kind of sense. He's the type of guy I've always wanted: musically talented, my religion, smart, kind, doesn't act like he's in gradeschool still, not pushy, comforter, and all kinds of wonderful qualities. He even meets what I don't need in a guy, but have always dreamed of having in the physical areas. Taller than me by plenty, brown hair and eyes, physically fit (and probably always will be. . .not like those highschool movies where the hot guy ends up looking like he's swallowed a blimp or something. . .and really not horrible on the eyes at all.

 

Why am I needing advise? Okay, I've actually got two reasons, but one of them has to come first, and it's the one I'm actually curious what people think about it in general.

 

1. He's twelve years older than me.

 

I'm going to be graduating from highschool at the end of this year, so it's not like I'm fourteen and having a huge thing for some adult or anything. I hate the guys my age in fact, unless they're the same personality type as he is, because then at least they've got heads on their shoulders and all. Most of them get on my nerves though, and that might explain some things. . .but I won't go into that.

 

In the past, he's fallen for a girl that's only nine years younger than him. Before he realized he was mad about her though, they'd had a conversation about age differences that popped up because of a magazine at a gas station talking about "cradle-robber" type relationships. He'd told her that age doesn't matter to him, and in talking to him, and other guys like him. . .that oddly enough I haven't really thought a thing about. . .don't really think of age in any way. Sure, they'll suddenly realize "hey! You just turned eighteen the other day didn't you?" but so long as you can carry on a conversation and don't act like an immature twit, you're not all that bad.

 

Most everyone in my little. . .okay it's kind of big. . .group of friends of several ages and backgrounds and the like, has said that there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. I've only asked representatives from such ages and backgrounds though, the ones I trust the most, and one out of those said that it was just wrong and almost had a conniption.

 

2. Even if there was something on his end. . .he'd never say anything.

 

Okay, I don't know that for sure. But he never said anything to the other girl. I must admit, he'd never really had the chance because of her step-dad, and the fact that she was slightly worried since she didn't feel anything towards him in that sense. But still.

 

I talk to him all the time. One of his fascinations is personality types. . .like the INFP and ENTJ stuff in the books Please Understand Me I and II, the first by David Kiersy and Marilyn Bates, and the seccond by David Kiersy. He is also a firm believer in complimentary opposites, even though, as is his personality, he will question it's worth at every turn. He spent half an hour, after I told him I could be three different personalities, all NF which is the base of his opposite, trying to figure out which one I am. His first question, "Well, what kind of guys do you find yourself being attracted to? Do you know their personalities yet or can you only tell me what qualities you found in them that I could help you figure them out for you." I'm not saying that it ment anything, because with him. . .it no doubt really didn't, but if anything, it does show how clueless he is. And if he doesn't think someone feels the same on something he wants to talk about, he doesn't bring it up.

 

Okay. . .that might have actually come out as a bunch of jargon. . .but I'm sure SOMEONE will be able to decipher it. And for those who only get what the first issue was, then PLEASE tell me what you think about that type of thing.

 

I think I ment to put this in "Relationships". . .oh well!

 

Please Understand Me

Please Understand Me II

 

HI , well here is my point of view. I think you analyse this relationship that you have with him too much. In my openion, i think that you should just enjoy his company, enjoy spending time with him, enjoy sharing your life with him. Than you ask yourself some questions, will I be able to live without his presense in my life? Will I be able to get on with this person if I see him every single day for the rest of my life? DO I feel emotionally and physically comfortable with this guy? Am I sexually attracted to him? If he is away for some time, do I miss him like crazy? Do I find my life meaningless without him? I'm sure if you answer these questions honestly, you'll know deep in your heart what he means to you and what you should do about him.

[Teri Luketic 0]

Thanks for your views. I don't know, I think I was seeing this thread as more of a "what do you think", except for that I talk a lot. LoL. I don't really see all that much with him, I just really enjoy being around him and talking to him. He's one of the few guys I can be comfortable with. And there are things I didn't say in the first post, but I really didn't need to because it probably doesn't matter. I don't know, it's hard to explain. But agian, thanks for your advice and pointers!