My Rap

[50Dime 0]

Ok I know Its Cheesy But Ya Know Oh WellYo Yo My Name Is Joe Ya Gotta Show Me Tha Dough Or Ya Gotta GoDont Come Around Here Lookin Like A Thug If Ya Steal Mah Key YaGotta Pay the Fee John Cena Said You Cant See Me Then Tha MiniMighty Ducks Said Flyin V I Say Oh No they Goin Kill Me Like Moby You Can Get Stung By Obey The Book Hermine Melville Was SoBorin I Almost Spoke ForeginRate It On A Scale From 1-10 I Say 2/10

[trace-uk 0]

2/10 - you rhymed! :)Try to rap about something, a thought, event or make a statement. i don't really know why you're trying to say the above stuff.Nice effort though, better than i could have!

[50Dime 0]

Any More Comments?

[TheArrow 0]

Lmao......next time, save us the trouble.

[Sprnknwn 0]

So, I don?t understand. ?You make a silly rap and you rate it 2 out of 10? So, what do you expect us to say, you already know that is awful. I could even give it a 3... there are so many raps ongs that are even worse than this...

[Pleex 0]

3/10, Atleast it did rhyme but there were no sence in the text, try be a little bit more creative ;p, Goodluck

[zerogravity 0]

yo homie u kiddin me?that rap was crap!not a sentence had sense!what were u trying to do?stop wasting r time with your silly rhymes!!!! u've got such bad taste its seems such a waste!forget rap do smthn else!

[Da Sick Kid 0]

1.5 / 10

1 Structure Sucks
2 You Dont Even Know What a Multi is(probly)
3 Flow was bad but not awfall
4 No Wordplay or creativity

HOW TO IMPROVE

1 Structure

do it like this:

Yo Yo My Name Is Joe Ya Gotta Show /
Me Tha Dough Or Ya Gotta Go /
Dont Come Around Here Lookin Like A Thug If Ya Steal Mah Key /
Ya Gotta Pay the Fee John Cena Said You Cant See Me /
Then Tha Mini Mighty Ducks Said Flyin V I Say Oh No they Goin Kill Me / Like Moby /
You Can Get Stung By Obey /
The Book Hermine Melville Was So Borin /
I Almost Spoke Foregin /

2: Multis

u prolly dunno wat it is so check the rap tutorial i posted:
http://forums.xisto.com/no_longer_exists/

3: Flow

Try to have the same syllables in each line and when you write a line they need to be relatively even in length

4: Try using wordplay like....i dunno take a look in the tut. Be creative. 50 Cent has alright rhymes but raps about what you dont want to hear. Guns, Drugs, Money, B*tches n shyt. If ya gonna use a gun line then make it original.


Hope This Helps, Ima Look At Your Next Drops And See If U Improve!

damn that took awhile