My Mom Is So Stubborn

[semeticsister 0]

Okay so my mom has been best friends with this woman named nelli for sixteen years, and I'm best friends with nelli's daughter. Lately though, my mom and nelli haven't really been getting along really well, because nelli made friends with these other people who have a lot of money and a big house and so nelli hangs out with them a lot, more than she does with my mom. This makes my mom feel betrayed and is not willing to apologize because she feels that nelli shoudl apologize to her. This is also a strain on me, because thanks to nelli's and my mom's rift, I don't get to see my best friend as often as I should. I keep asking my mom to just tell nelli how she feels, but my mom is too damn stubborn and expects nelli to apologize to her, even though I doubt nelli knows how my mom feels. I tried to call nelli and invite her over for tea, but my mom got really mad at me and now i think I just made things worse. Please, someone help me!

[anwiii 17]

i wouldn't butt in to the parents business at all. you need to talk to your best friend over the phone or you need to tell your mom that this rift shouldn influence you and your best friends relationship.
don't be inviting the enemy over for tea anymore.....sheeeeesh

[wariorpk 0]

That kind of stuff happens between adults all the time. They say how mature they are and stuff like that but they honestly are not they argue as much as us. The thing I would do is tell your mom her being mad should not get in the way of your friendship and she is being selfish and unfair if she is going to do that. That will only work if you have good communication with your parents but if they will not listen to you its best to contact your friend on the phone and computer so you can stay friends even though your mom is being annoying.

[iwuvcookies 0]

I can't tell my parents anything that sensitive. They think just because they're parents they can tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Like they know they're wrong yet they don't want to admit it. My mom is stubborn too. I find that you can't really get a point across without being yelled at. I think you should just keep on talking with your friend if when your mother still doesn't like the idea of you inviting her over. If your friend is a good enough person than you should hold on to that person. Good friends are hard to come by.

[agentblade 0]

I agree that sometimes parents can be unreasonable and frustrating to deal with. But they're humans after all, just like us, they make mistakes and aren't the perfect person that we hope they are.However its good to remember that in all you do, show your parents the respect due to them. Even if you don't respect them for who they are, respect them because they brought you up. Especially your mom who had to endure 9 months of pain just to bring you to this world.. She deserves your love and respect just because of this..Try talking to your mom, communication helps alot in building good strong relationships..

[master_bacarra 0]

well, it's weird for an older person to not act so maturely, especially if it's your mother... but i get her point. i would probably have hard feelings for a friend for not being there anymore. but she has to know that if she kept on with this, she'll probably lose her friend forever than gain her back along with new friends.like what the other posts have said, talk to your mother. tell her that it affects you more (if not the same) than it affects her. she needs to lower her pride and not be judgemental of those that she thinks who are stealing her friend. she would gain more friends if she keeps a healthy relationship with those around her. and you should be the one to support her on that. don't tell her that she's stubborn (it'll only make things worst than it already is). just be sympathetic and tell her you understand, but at the same time you should point to her that what she is doing might affect you or her and her relationship with other people.i hope you get my point and i hope i'm not going on circles here.

[Zero Ziat 0]

I definetely agree with you, she is being stubborn for real, she should not be doing that.She still deserves the right to be wrong, so, this should sort out easy. If not, I'd recommend a serious talk with your mom about the maturity.Or a family therapist. *Sigh*

[kayzad 0]

Hi

 

I feel your mom is probably too involved with Nelli. This means that they are really best of friends but she has to accept the fact that Nelli too can have many more friends. Probably elli is not neglecting your mother and your mom might be just amplifying the problem. I believe Nelli will soon realisize her real company and real friend once she gets saturated with her rich friends. I guess life teaches us lessons very well and so will it teach Nelli soon. Please tell your mom not be get so upset or angry as because Nelli is a good friend then she will definitely return to your mom. Just let time go by and then see the magic. Please try to divert the mind of your mom in some other direction if possible. She probably needs more care and affection so that she cannot think of such problems.

 

I guess friends are definitely important but not so important that you change your mood ad life-style for them. Just make your mom feel secured enough. I am sure she will be back to normal very soon. I believe in only one thing, TIME is the MASTER. All the best and take care. May God bless you and your family. Post me if you have any future problems.

[Zero Ziat 0]

Nice, but why the huge text? I don't feel it's necessary, as just posting with normal text.

[richierich1m 0]

i think the best thing you could do is simply keep in touch with your friend on phone end meet together have fun,don't try to sove your mom's matter.adults have many other complication which you may not know completely let them solve there own problem it will be good for both you and your mom

[franz see 0]

k, this thread is a bit old and im not really sure if the problem still persists, and if it's still the same scenario. but i'd like to comment nonetheless regarding parents

 

first of all, most parents will not accept to their own kids they are at fault UNLESS they want something from their kids (i.e. forgiveness). It's not about whether they are right and you're wrong, it's about their pride but there's nothing wrong with that, we're all humans

 

secondly, when you reason out with your parents (or for anyone for that matter), make them know that you're on their side first the casual chit chat, then the smooth transition to the topic, then you ride along with the person showing the person that you understand perfectly his/her side, next you show your suggestion (either as a what-if, alternative, suggestion, or whatever). but be sure to reason out the logic of your suggestion ..and just remember that this is no monologue be sure that you understand his/her side because no matter how wrong a person is, he/she'd most probably not admit it out of anger