My Mother-in-law Dont they make you grrrrr.....

[Thorned Rose 0]

My mother-in-law while generally a nice person really, really frustrates me and p****s me off. She gets ideas into her head and won't budge from them despite the overwhelming evidence I give to the contrary. At the moment she has gall stones and constantly complains about them. Her doctor which she relys on implicitly has put her on a very restrictive diet which she is sticking to religiously. That's all very well and good until you realise that some things are open to interpretation. Her doctor says no dairy, eat only trim meat, not fat, high fibre. Very good advice on the whole however she interpretes no fat as in NONE AT ALL. I try to explain that GOOD fat (polyunstaurated fats high in EFAs like olive oil, flaxseed oil, canola oil etc) are necessary for your body as vitamins A, D, E, and K are fat soluable meaning they need fat for your body to absorb them - nope, she won't have a bar of it. And it gets better. She's vitamin K deficient. Try to tell her that Olive all is proven to be good for Gall Stones and she just parrots what her God-like doctor has told her. I have given her links and links and links to a non-surgical way to get rid of gall stones but she won't have a bar of it because it involves downing a large amount of evil Olive Oil. Isn't this just stupid? If it we're me and someone told me, "Look you don't have to potentially get cancer and a lifetime of excruciating pain after going through major surgery to remove an albeit unecessary but still important organ in your body by essentially drinking a couple of cups of olive oil", I'd be jumping at the chance to at least give it a go. But despite being knowledgeable in biology, medicine and having a chronic illness that involves a lot of research into nutrition etc, I apparently am just talking through a hole in my butt. whew. That said, she's also horribly racist. I don't consider myself to be of any one particular culture (my lineage includes kiwi, fijian, norwegian, scottish, welsh, english, samoan, american, maori....) so I tend to all and none. Yesterday she was complaining that an optometrist gave her poor quality glasses because she was Chinese and that she should have gone to her usual one. She's extremely judgemental and I've always had trouble feeling comfortable around her. I've just always gotten the feeling that I'm not good enough or that I'm a bit weird. She doesn't like people she deems 'weird'. I used to be very gothic which I'm sure didn't help. But you would think that after almost 10 years she would be a little more accepting. The latest was when I got my tattoo. I told my husband, the first thing out of her mouth would be something about it being real or not and that she would also check him to make sure that he didn't have one. 1. "That's not permanent is it?" 2. She goes over to my husband to frisk him down. She of course doesn't like it despite the fact that it's very feminine and has beautiful symbology. I don't particularly care what she thinks about anything because she has such an awful view on life but it does wear me down especially with my self-esteem being in such a shambles at the moment. Does anyone have any advice or story about their interminable mother/father-in-law. I know my one isn't the worst but by golly, she drives me nut

[HoRuS 0]

My ex-mother in law also drove me nuts at times, allthough she was one of the best you could wish. In the beginning I could sit up all night and talk with her, but as time passed, it got less. She also has health problems, she couldn't sleep all night and her temperature was always high, she even sweat when it's icy outside. I told her not to take those sleeping-pills from the doctor, since they are kinda addictive, and switch to herbal(ish) medications. She refused and began to complain constantly and she can't sleep without those pills . Also she likes to drink a lot, wich I think isn,t good for her health condition as well.But besides this she was an awesome woman, who always was there when someone needed her, I have to say.

[terminal2k 0]

i grew up under the impression that nobody is supposed to get along with their inlaws, and that they're all crazy, i feel sorry for my fiancee as my mother is crazy like the one you described and will refuse to accept anything other than what she already believes (unless its a pc issue, she at least listens to me about that). It can be very frustrating when she gets like that, and sometimes will even remember things that never happened, or in a way different to how they actually did happen, and nothing you can say will convince her otherwise... in short avoid your in laws at all costs if you don't get along with them, and have a happier life

[OCAC 0]

Not that I can offer you any real advice, but people don't like to change under pressure, especially, if there is an age gap against you - and if they have it on good authority..Simply don;t pressurise her into it. She is probably unhappy and insecure enough about it herself and you constantly barging at her, will not help. Of course your intentions are well meaning, but she might simply be shutting everything out, because she cannot accept the state she is in. My Grandmother had a similar tendency. We never spoke about illness. In the end she had a form of inoperable cancer that was "shown" visiting medical students, because it is normally operated on, but she refused - so she became a real life showcase...What can you do?Reduce the suffering, feel and work with them - and good luck!

[Thorned Rose 0]

She doesn't try to hide that she's sick - on the contrary, she often gripes about to everyone and anyone but stubbornly refuses to listen to any advice if it's not from her doctor, even if it comes from say, my doctor, she won't listen. It irritates the hell out me when people constantly complain about something they have control over but do nothing to improve it. I've given her a cure but she has deemed it wrong (despite numerous doctors and health practitioners saying otherwise) just becuse she want's to be a nazi about what she eats. She's very arrogant (I guess that ties in with the racism) and not very open to new and better things unless she deems them good. She gets very obsessive about thing, bordering almost on OCD. Sometimes I wonder if she does have OCD. Like her diet. She's running herself into the ground with her idea on no fat meaning none at all instead of no saturated fats. I don't pressure her, just try to casually bring things up or send her emails with information but at the remotest hint of something she thinks is one way or disagrees with her high-horse attitude becomes prevalent and she shuts up like a clam. It's just very frutrating when all i am doing is trying to help her.