Heartbrakers Hymn

[andres 0]

hi there, this is the first song i've ever written in English.

i'm opened to your opinions, so if you didn't like, i don't actually care

 

Heartbrakers Hymn

 

How was I supposed to know

that my time's passing so slow

that our life was going to grow?

 

How do you think that I can guess

if you're a nice intellectual

or if your like me, a nice mess?

 

What was I supposed to do?

I didn't want to be so cruel,

but it's just that she's so fool.

 

So next time I see again a thing like this,

I'll know that is a woman to miss

and i won't try to steal her a kiss.

[sander1234 0]

buh you stin

[brokenfairy 0]

tis great for your first! A tad short though.. and 'she's so fool' makes no sense.. it could be changed to either 'she's a fool' or 'she's so foolish' also.. if your meaning the song to be written in the sense that its referring to something that has already happened you might wanna change 'How do you think that I can guess' to 'How did you think that I could guess'

and you could change 'So next time I see again a thing like this,' to 'so next time I again see a thing like this,' to be grammatically correct.. um.. yeh.. thats about it.. but meh.. its my opinion.. people might see differently

 

xox Kim

[hulunes 0]

Sounds nice...i do like the betutiful rhyme you created.applaud for your first works.pretty job...