New Member About Me

[intermission 0]

My name is Josh, I was born September 23, 1986 in Lakenheath, England. After living there for only a few months i decided i would stay with the family and move with them to Delaware since my ultimate plan (the destruction of every living species of adenium obesum otherwise known as the desert rose) relied on the finances that i would persuade out of my parental units. My brother was born mistakenly two years later in Dover. After the incident, we decided it was best to find a new life in Colorado. Although the climate ceased to change, the scenery did. I finally gained a 360 degree scope of the world as i began to trek in a similar pattern to my brethren. After five years in this prison, my counterparts and i journeyed to a land where sautomy was held in higher esteem than education. Such a place can presently be known as Mississippi. Need I say more. After two years, my procreators deemed it necessary to climb into a deeper armpit of chaos and destruction called Seoul, Korea. People here are half the size of a regular human being, probably due to the consumption of raw fish and pure salt, and somehow they find it interesting to all die their hair black. This confused me at first but then i realized they were just attempting to conform to the Korean form of perfection. What really bothers me about this place is that merchants continually hide their evil plans of making fish cleaners out of every child in the world by attempting to sell "samurai" and "ninja" swords and knives for display. The real motive lies in the fact that children love to play with sharp objects. These halfling merchants know such things. Thus the children will get practice with a blade at a young age. I'm not quite sure how far up on the Korean chain of command this scandal reaches, but i will seek for the truth in time. After a couple years on this barbaric peninsula, we (my cocreated offspring and prototypes) traveled to ""The Ghetto"" otherwise known as Montgomery, AL. On the way to school everyday i could see women walking carrying sticks or umbrellas. I didn't think it was going to rain or that they were practicing for mortal combat. My brother's friend's aunt's priest's psychiatrist's patient said that they carried these weapons to ward off the dogs that roamed in those parts. I immediately knew what i had to do. After school i ran to every tree, fence post, and fire hydrant and marked my territory. To my ultimate surprise after the territorial land war of the South we landed in a place even more degenerate than the previous. Such a place can now be known as Mascoutah, Illinois. Its previous name changed from *BLEEP* wasteland until they installed the great institution of Mascoutah Community High School or as others prefer to call it, Mascoutah Correctional Facility for troubled adolescents. People at the Facility like to hypocritically criticize young innocent lads for smoking when most of them, in fact, get "sloshed" every weekend. This still puzzles me to this day. What puzzles me more is the fact that these bad asses actually succumb to the gorillas that run this Facility. I am hopeful for future generations due to the institution of lanyards (derived from the French word noose) for the protection and safety of the delinquents infesting the Facility. Many say that these lanyards make the primates feel powerful and in control. I disagree with this theory however. Every time i put on this object of rope and plastic i felt an engulfment of safety and protection flowing through my inguinal nodes. I think these lanyards are the only reason i got through the Facility. God bless the man who instituted them. After our release from the Facility, David and I thought it best to move to Enid, Oklahoma. My parents and younger brother were moving to Alaska while David and I stuffed his Ford Tempo with all of his and my belongings. We stopped at his grandfather's house to hours away in Missouri. Smoking like a chimney, his grandfather welcomed us with open arms. He let us shoot his .22 rifle and M1 Carbine. It was all going well until we took his truck through the black night into the alphalpha fields a little to the west through some gates. We came back and all the gates were open. We got so frightened we ran into the house screaming like school girls. Six hours after our take off the next day, we arrived in Enid. After living in David's brother Dan's apartment for a couple weeks, we moved into our own bungalow.

Notice from jlhaslip:

Moving to Introductions from Guest posts

Edited November 26, 2005 by jlhaslip (see edit history)

[jlhaslip 4]

Well that is certainly more of an introduction than we normally see on the forum. It was an interesting read. It appears that you have had an exciting journey so far, and thanks for dropping by at the Trap. Please do share more of your experiences with us. I liked the writing style and the injection of humour in the posting. So, born in Britain, lived in Korea, and several spots in the USA. It sounds to me like your folks might be in the Armed Forces? Probably Air Force? Good opportunity to travel around. Glad to have you here. If there are any questions you need answered, check the prior posts by using the search feature, or read the FAQ's in the Xisto Readme. If you still don't get the answer, post a topic or PM a Mod. We are here to help you.

[shigajet 0]

Wow! Now THAT's an introduction and a half. Quite an interesting read, I must say. Anway, welcome to the T17 community! This forum has a lot of topics and threads that'll suit your interests, and the people here are very friendly and supportive.Hope you enjoy your stay here, and feel free to come back and post as often as you like.See you on the boards!