Marriage I think its a waste of time, and money

[BordaForx 0]

No, I'm getting married. I'm very proud. I dont' care about the money or the time...Getting married is nature....

[disguise 0]

I don't believe in marriage. To me, it's trouble/unhappiness. I told the guy i love that i didn't want to get married, well we didn't talk about it seriously, it just sort of popped up and i could tell he wasn't ok about it but that's it. Most of the ppl i know got divorced and what not. Even my parents. So, thanks but no thanks.

[knowlege pool 0]

belief in anything come with conviction we have about it. Conviction comes from faith and confidence we have in us and our surrondings. Now this belief may be regarding your job, your exam result , your marriage or even god.problem arises when we are forced to believe of which we are not convinced. If we are groomed to believe that marriages are natural, marriages are for kids, marriages are for sex we tend to make our mindset accordingly.Now these relationships tend to broke or staleness begin to creep in them when either of these notions we have are not fulfilled or just after they get fulfilled. Because we start loosing the meaning in the relationship. Someone believes marriage are to get kids. You have two kids What next or someone suggested adopt a child. So that not what marriages as a institution stands for.I belive marriage as a institution have much more value attached to it. It require faith , understanding , belief and top of it LOVe between the partners. Marriage gives you the strength and the feeling of bonding between two indivisuals who come together to enjoy life and to fight adversities together. people can say this can be attained without getting marriage. True emootions to some may not require any legal or social binding. They may share a same relationship as life partners without getting married. But my take on it is. Why are we then afraid to accept it. Why do we refrain from accepting the other person completely. I belive enoying relationship gives you right on persons body but marriages give you right on partners body , mind and soul. There is sense of belonging and oneness. which work wonders in relationship and gives you strength to streer clear of all hurdels in life.Knowlege Pool

[Nani Cheri 0]

But my take on it is. Why are we then afraid to accept it. Why do we refrain from accepting the other person completely. I belive enoying relationship gives you right on persons body but marriages give you right on partners body , mind and soul. There is sense of belonging and oneness. which work wonders in relationship and gives you strength to streer clear of all hurdels in life.

I really do understand what you saying here, but I know that if I really know I want to completely accept my partner, and get to the partners body but also miond and soul....well... I can do that....

I can give myself to someone, I can really be with one together (like married couples do) , even if Im not married... It's not like I'll become another person if I get married...Im always myself, so I always think about someone the same, and act the same, give the same love, give the same care etc..


I think people get married

- because of their religion (or God) wants them to
- or the 'guarantee' for not breaking up (because of a child for example),
- or because things just get blown up about marriage in the media: movies, and songs (glamour dress, friends, having the most beautiful day of your life etc etc) ...

.."so let's marry too honey" (were some people not even think about what they're doin, and get divorced in a couple of months...like J.LO, Britney and... etc..?)

[Togi 0]

I guess stuff like this varies in other countries, and.. you're from Holland, Nani? I don't know how it is there, but here in the US.. I don't think people take it very seriously, anymore ^^;People rush to get married.. either after dating only a short time, or at a young age.. and so it's not surprising that the devorce rate is so high ^^;I can remember thinking like you did almost my whole life.. from being little and learning that girls change their last names when they get married ("Why doesn't the boy? That's not fair, I like my name, I'll never get married! ;.;!")..to having my mom die.. ("They were so happily married, and this happens.. what a waste.. ;.;")..to watching my dad and step-mom devorce.. breaking up with different guys.. it always just seemed horrible.But now, and the 'rip old age' of 19.. I think I might have found someone worth marrying. Maybe. If I move in with him when I turn 20 and finish college. If I'm still with him a year after that.. and want to be with him, still, for the rest of my life.. wouldn't it be fun to get married?Granted, I wouldn't mind living with him forever, married or not.. but if you're going to live together forever, anyways, why not take that step?I secretly grin, now, at the idea of changing my last name to match his.. or the idea of wearing a ring, just a simple one, to show everyone that I belong to him.. even to stay up all night fighting with him, every so often.. knowing the whole time that this is the man I picked to stay with forever, because I love him..I guess we don't have to be married.. but it seems to make it more official.. and legal things change. I think I'd be proud to have him call me his wife, instead of his girlfriend, and to grow old together..I think it's something that changes in you, when you meet someone special. But every person is different, and so is every relationship, so.. if you never did get married, and found a guy who would agree to that.. then cheers ^^

[Nani Cheri 0]

wouldn't it be fun to get married?

HI:D

EXACTLY...it would be fun because of the dress, attention etc. maybe? But will it change anything? I don't think so.

Yeah their people who rush to get married 2 in Holland .. and the dad and ex-girl thing you talk about too.

I still think people don't understand what my point is... Togi, You say you'd be proud if he calls you his wife instead of his girl for example. Why is that? Does he love you more if he says that? I think, that people get married to get a sort of feeling after you said yes, no other person can get between you two. Like a guarentee or something.

My point of view about marriage is: I don't need marriage to let the other feel that I want to be with em forever, and that I want to grow old with em. That I love this person with all my heart. I'll make sure that he and I live together with the trust and honesty that is needed to be able to say you want to give your self too the other person. I mean...it is fun...marriage...but I don't need no ring, no title, no paper to live this grow- old- with- you- life that married couples live.

I found that someone special (3 years together now) that I could marry, but it didn't cross my mind that I want him to call his wife. I want to hear him say that he loves me, trusts me, is honest and real to me. I don't have to show anyone I belong to him. What have those people to do with our realtionship? Nothing.. I know his mine, he knows I'm his girl...

But I do understand, that after you are married it feels a bit different. Cause you DO make a great step if you marry, cause you'll be stuck with him forever (if you don't divorce ofcours ) . But because divorcing is so easy these days...that feeling..that stucking with eachother feeling, will lower a bit I think...

[Togi 0]

Mm.. I dunno, then ^^You could live with someone forever, without marrying them.. but if you're going to, anyways, then why not get married and.. obtain legal benefits?I guess it's just what everyone does.. so if you were still dating this person after 25 years, and hadn't married them yet.. the idea of it just seems weird. ^^;

[sonorama 0]

well, eventhough I havent had any experience with marriage myself, I can tell that it is something I would definitely try if I really feel like. I mean, if you only feel like loving each other without the marriage process it is OK; right ? But what if someday someone you really love ask you to do that? Are you going to be selfish enough to refuse the proposition and then just leave? I do not think so. It certainly has a traditional connotation, but you can decide by yourself if you really want that ceremony and decide as well how long it can really work on your situation? Sometimes I even wonder... what is it that makes marriage look satanic and horrible to the newer generations???Lol.... Cheers!!!

[Nani Cheri 0]

Sometimes I even wonder... what is it that makes marriage look satanic and horrible to the newer generations???

 

Lol.... Cheers!!!

211735[/snapback]

Hey Sonorama

 

Haahaha, yeah, many (not all of them) from this generation think about it this way... But I think it's because of our parents, who got married, but divorced so easily, and other people who get divorced more often these days.

 

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But maybe this thought came into my head about marriage, because I have seen to many ' Newly Weds ' and J.Lo's getting divorced after 3 months....LOL

I think that's a waste of money...but you guys made me think about it, and I've come to this point I think, that my thoughts about wasting money and time with marriage is slowly changing a little bit..

 

But I still think I PERSONALLY would not want to marry someone, perhaps it is a combination of factors which come from my personality.

 

But I do understand that marriage can be important for many people, and I respect that, I always have so...

[Cerb 0]

Marriage is more than just being with someone and living together. You are legally considered part of that persons family. Let's say that your significant other was badly injured in a car accident and you took them to the hospital. Of course, you'd want to know how the person was doing. Would the doctor be able to tell you? No. You're not in the person's family. There are many situations just like this one. Some are far more serious, though.

[nha 0]

Its basically signifiys the joining of the couple and their family, me and my fiance are having a wedding in two years and only inviting family and friends, its very important to us and weve been dating for 3 years so far

[sexymama1723 0]

Ok everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I am married and happily married and I don't see why someone would put someone down for being married.Just because I chose to get married dosen't mean I am a bad person. A lot of my friends have gotten divorced and it is sad to see,but if you can't get along while you are dating then don't go through the trouble of trying to get married because in the end its not going to work.I only paid 20 dollars to get married which I would say its not expensive. I didn't have an extragvant wedding.I Didn't get married in a fancy gown. I wore a plain white dress with a tiara and that's it. My flowers weren't even real.I got married in my husbands aunt back yard. I didn't get married in a big church like a lot of people do.I told my husband that I would of rather went before the justice of peace and gotten married.Marriage is the best thing to happen to me. I had so may bad things happen in my life like being molested as a child and eventually being raped.I found a man who understood what I was going through. and As I got older I did things I wasn't proud of and My husband saved me from going under and just letting go of it all. He helped me turn around my life and helped me to become a better person. So anyone that says marriage is stupid dosen't know what they are talking about because sometimes marriage is a person's only getaway and utlimate their salvation.

 

 

"love is the greatest power anyone can have"

Nicole Jones 2006