Children Who Become Bad: Wrongly Of Parents? Or are friends and surrounding to blame

[Nani Cheri 0]

HiI had this discussion at school about young people who become criminal, or don't want to listen any more and become unmanageable. They walk away from their homes, skipping school, are aggressive 2 their parents, or become impolitely and don't have a clue how how to behave themselves in any way!Now the proposition was: 1. That these young people become this way, are the debt of the parents. You look op to them. If they obstruct you in any way, it can influenze your developement worng. If they are too strict, no longer reeel, it goes worng. If they are too soft, and tolerating like everything you do or don't, it'll go wrong. Parents must firstly reflect about what they want to give their children, and wish them the all best. 2. That these young people become this way, are the debt of their surroundings. Middle school, young people start finding thing out like... sex, drugs, alcohol parties... everything comes on their path. Also if you live in a poor, criminal neighbourhood, your children could end up bad, and that is then the fault of the parents. Or do you think that these two propositions are nonsense, and that it are the young people thenselves who make those choices, and therefore they have control of what they do, and therefore how they become, and what he will reach? Let me know, what's your opinion?!

[Saint_Michael 3]

well both points are true, but i say parents are the bigger reason why children become bad, parents who do spend time with them, encourage them, make the children believe that they are unloved by them and then the surroundings are brought into play, cuz people look for those who have nothing to lose and thus begin brainwashing them. how do you think terrorism works, they find those they can brain wash and make them into what they are really not.so best thing as a parent is to be their as much as you can when you can and the children will be the righeous person they should be.

[OpaQue 15]

The young minds of children is like wet clay. Parents mould n shape it.. Now its with the parents how they shape it up.We cannot ignore the evils of society that affect children. However, some things like family values, culture can be sown soo deeply in minds of children that they learn themselves to stay away from such things.We dont expect parents to keep thier children away from such things, but yes, they can very well give them the power and determination to stay away. A good warm feeling in family is the main thing which one should maintain. Returning home from school should be an exciting thing for them. Wheras, I have seen for many, who say... "Oh! No.. I dont feel like going home... its the same thing again and again.. ".Culture does make a lot of diffrence. This is the only thing, for which I encourage involving religion in life. If you see, All religions help to impart culture. They tell us the right way of living. Coming back to point, no parents would like their children to go on wrong paths. However, the parents who suffer this are not exactly bad. Either they havent given time to their kids.. or they have did it in excess. Parents should be caring as well as strict. Strict where discipline is concerned. ( I don't mean, they should start beating their kids.. being strict does not mean beating or scolding )There is also one thing, that should be considered i.e. Communication gap due to the diffrences in generation. The newer generation is smart and mature.. Parents should try to be more of a friend to their childs and less of a parent. That would help to have a better communication and both will be able to share their diffrences. Children are usually afraid to say things to their parents. If proper family values and culture are sown in kids, They will learn to ignore evil things themselves. So, try giving the kids strength to stay away rather than cutting his reach from such things. BEcause these things will find him no matter how hard you try to protect him. Make him such that, next time when he goes out for teen party.. abuses drugs etx, he should feel ashamed of himself and coming back home. So that the next time, he will ignore it.

[vusay 0]

I think children become 'bad' from picking habits up from other people, but not just parents. If a parent is relatiely law-abiding, then they can only guide their child to do the right thing, and teach them that it is the right thing. IF they've picked it up from friends or anyone really, parents can only help the child steer away from them.However, if kids are bought up believing that the wrong thing is acceptable, than it is the parents fault, and the kid is just going repeat this.But hey, what do know? I'm just a kid!

[Nani Cheri 0]

There is also one thing, that should be considered i.e. Communication gap due to the diffrences in generation. The newer generation is smart and mature.. Parents should try to be more of a friend to their childs and less of a parent. That would help to have a better communication and both will be able to share their diffrences. Children are usually afraid to say things to their parents.

I really agree with you about that parents should also be a friend rollmodel for children. Especially for young people who are struggling with their puberty. I had this to, I was so afraid to tell things to my mum, about sex mostly! I didn't even wanted to tell her that I did it for the first time, because I thought she wouldn't understand. I have a really difficult relationship with my mother. We fight about things I did all the time, and with her I always feel like I failed for all the things I should have down right.

I think that's really the first reason why I can't communicate with her, we don't act like two friends, but mother and child only.

You are SO Right about COMMUNICATION. It's soo much more important than most people think.

[OpaQue 15]

Yup, That is the reason why kids find it easy to go with the views of their friends. They have a good communication relation with their friends. Kids share more with their friends than with their parents. However, they fail to realise one thing. That at some point of time, if they ever fall in trouble, the only person whom they can trust and expect to show up is their parents. Parents should also realise this and try to make the first move. Most of the times, they find it embarassing bout talking things. However, parents should realise that its their responsiblity to make the first move. Thats what kids want. (Just like girls hehe.. they always want the boys to make the first move ;-) )

[ManOfSTEEL 0]

Well, its not a new issue here, about young one who become criminal in a very early age. Many occurences now involving a teenager in some criminal cases, here in the philippines I read in the news paper a grade school boy who accidentally killed his schoolmate using his pencil. the other one is playing war games but he accidentally get his father's gun and pulled the trigger in front of his playmate and killed.In many case, those young involved in the criminal case are acquired from the movie, news paper, tv etc. That is why parental guidance is very important for them.As a father, I tried my best to have a very strong foundation in the family and with my daugther, There are times that she gets mad to me, but that is part of growing up, the thing there is how you will handle those kind of behavior. It is very important also that in the early ages, you must be a good example to your son. In my case, I used to read more books about how my daughter acquired good relationship with the parents and how to acquire good behavior. Tried to read the book "BEING HAPPY" by Andre MathewI learned a lot of things here including good family relationship.The behavior of the children depends on the behavior of their parents, 90 percent of their behavior acquired from the environment which he or she lives in...

[Becca 0]

I agree that some kids go wrong because of their parents but I was bought up by a single mother with no support at all from my "father" so my mum is hardly at home because she works all the time because there is only one source of income so she can't really look after me or discipline me and doesn't have time to care what I do is " right or wrong ". I don't think I have gone wrong..I have never stolen, killed or done something illegal besides drink alcohol at special occasions. But I think because she has been so strong throughout her life it kind of does make me look up to her, so Iguess you lot are kind of right.Me and my mum don't really have much bonding because we don't get much time together...but when we do start talking it's loads fun and I tell her most things :Pwhat i said doesn't really make sense but i hope you understand most of it.

[Peaktao 0]

Hey,I think it's hard to say. People are naturally affected/influenced by everything they see and everyone they meet. Yes, parents can be partially blamed. And some cases are more obvious than others. Also in some cases, parents are more to blame than anything else. For example, if the father is addicted to alcohol and is the one who introduced the child to such world of drugs himself, then he's more to blame.Surroundings are also important. Just think about it, why do some people care so much about being famous? Some people care a lot about their images and other people's impression on them. Why is there thing such as fashionable clothes? This means people are definitely influenced either directly or indirectly by people around them. It would also be the case too for children who have become criminals.BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, I BELIEVE, PEOPLE CAN AT LEAST PARTLY CHOOSE THEIR OWN DESTINY! PEOPLE CAN CHOOSE TO BE GOOD PERSONS- NO MATTER WHAT. yes, it's harder to be such a good person if you face with that situation but it's not impossible.They can be so much pressured and they might even be starving to death while refusing to hurt/harm other people. Some children do not take their parents as teir role model or as a sample. They can choose what to take into themselves.

[brandice 0]

I've been a babysitter for years, annd before that I worked at a toy store, so I've seen a lot of the ways parents interact with their kids. I am truely of the school that there are no bad kids, just bad parents. That might be a little harsh. I think there is a delicate balancing act involved in being a good parent. Parents should be friends with their kids, yes. But if they become more of a friend than a parent the kids will learn to take advantage of that. And it also gets kind of annoying for the kids as well, when the parents want to be buddies, and it might make them want to act out.The three things kids need more than anything encouragment, consistency and a feeling of security. take out any of those things and you're headed for trouble.

[Revolutionary. 0]

From my perspective it's bad parenting. If distasteful information or behaviors adapted from friends, the media and other sorts of areas where children gain information is being exerted the parents shouldn't be lax about it and stop it. It's all up to the parents to stop the children from adapting these behaviors before they become too much for said parents to control. If the mother and/or father is ignorant to the situation, it is their fault that his or her child is acting badly.If the actions or information is only being disclosed out of earshot or view, then it becomes a grey area. The parents may never find out about it but if they're notified they'll be forced to(or attempt) to stop it. Unless there were telltale signs(most likely) then it's still the parent's responsibility to monitor their children.In short: Parents should always(with few exceptions) be able to stop bad behavior from occuring before it becomes a serious problem.

[Nani Cheri 0]

Maybe it's just the combination with parents and the invironment the child lives in?