AbstracT 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2005 ok i know some of you have heard that quote "what do you do when the person who made is cry is the only one that can stop u" or something to that extent...well i think im that way to my girl...i love her and i want to marry her and everything...but i havent seen her in a long time and im a man and i have needs that she cant help n i know its not her fault and everytime im supposed to get down there we end up arguin some way or my temper goes off and i change my mind on going...now wen i was drunk i cheated on her before n she took me back today i told her some girl from round the way ask to give me a b.j. n i said w.e i dont care...now i want to be with my girl more than anything...but i think im gonna hurt her more if i stay..i dont know...if i stay id be with who i want but my needs will be put on hold til i can be there...or i leave n lose her forever...or do it n not tell her...i know it sounds bad...but its a catch 22..atleast to me it is Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zaccid 0 Report post Posted August 1, 2005 Well you are for sure in a "Catch 22". There is one thing that can be honestly said. IF you really loved your girl then you wouldn't have cheated on her, drunk or not.There are a lot of people in the world today that is in the same situation as you. There is a little saying ... "Honestly is the best" ... if you can't be honest with the girl that you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with is there anything real there? These are what you need to ask yourself.I know that you might not want to hear this but I really dont care ... cause this is my view and that is it ... MY VIEW ... you need to do what you do ... if you want her then be HONEST with her - not matter what, she will have more respect in you that way.Good luck with this one bud ... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simply-me 0 Report post Posted September 16, 2005 Well honestly if you love her you wouldnt have cheated on her.. unless your feeling are not real..your choice mateand remember HONESTY Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Saint_Michael 3 Report post Posted September 16, 2005 i know you mean well but sex is not that important in a relationship (my god he said sex was not important). Thats right sex is not the important thing, its trust and caring that counts, and you blown that right out the door, since the booty call is all that you need with this relationship.so best thing you can do is set your prioties straight and then when you grow up then start having a meaningful relationship with a women. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kitty 0 Report post Posted September 19, 2005 Hm..ask yourself,would you like that thought that your girlfriend is cheating you?Especially,when she want to marrie you?Well,honestly I dont think so..The most important thing,I think that she deserves your honesty,so you would probably have to tell her,about this..offcourse if you respect her enough..And if she forgive you,I think the things will never be the same again..you can forgive to someone but you can't forgot some things like this..and the CONFIDENCE..that will be really an art to deserve her confidence one more time..I dont know it is a very sad situation.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunkist 0 Report post Posted November 1, 2005 Hi:I don't know if honesty is always the best answers. Hear me out before you criticize this. If a cheating incident happened a while ago. If it is a thing of the past, what good does fessing up do? All it does is hurt the other person. Sure, your concious may now be clean. And the other person may forgive you. But your partner is forever left knowing. In some situations, I think kindness might be better.If somebody was unfaithful, it is THEIR burden to bear. Informing their partner may only cause unneccessary hurt.SunkistP.S. to forum admins....thanks for starting this section, "dating and relationships". I enjoy it a lot. When I have computer problems, I talk in the other sections. But if I have no technal questions, I like this section. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msdeeva 0 Report post Posted November 4, 2005 Honesty is the best policy. Yeah, it can be a mess to deal with afterward, but if the other person finds out that you've been lying all this time, trust goes out the window and you're screwed anyway (no pun intended). I believe when your honest, no matter how brutal the truth is, at least the person can trust you to tell them the truth and be straight with them. Otherwise, not only will you have cheated, you're a liar too. That's like having a knife in the gut twice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bluesierra 0 Report post Posted December 8, 2005 First thing that comes to my mind is that you probably dont really love her. But its obvious you have feelings for her that some day could turn into love. Make things right with her and see where things go.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peaktao 0 Report post Posted December 14, 2005 Hey, in my view, there are 2 kinds of cheating.1. Cheating like you do: cheat again and again...like when you say 'if I stay, I'll hurt her more and more.' If you girls ever come across this kind of guys dump him, please. I just wanna say...it's really selfish...You basically want her to be your future wife...to satisfy certain things you want in your life, and when she can't do it, you have another alternative. If you really feel like...you need someone to satisfy your needs all the time, you will never be honest with anyone EVER (because even your wife can't be with you all the time). It's your attitude that needs to be changed.2. Short-time (mistake) cheating: This is when, in a long-term stable relationship, one person has a feeling for another guy or girl...And, yes, one thing might lead to another. But before that affairs go too far, a person feel guilty, stop it. Attempt never to see the thrid party again. Honest partner would confess to their partner of the mistake. For example, my boyfriend and I had been together for 2 and a half years when we had to be in different countries for a year. He had fallen for another girl, but then confessed to me. He also told me he loved me and would wanna spend his life time with me....and asked me to forgive him. He promised not to meet another girl ever again and did his best to make up for the mistake e.g. always letting me know where he is and asking me for permission before going out to parties etc. This kind of cheating is a different story.You can decide for yourself which one you wanna be. It's never too late for you to change your attitde and become the second kind of cheater.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Peaktao 0 Report post Posted December 14, 2005 p.s as for my bf and I, we have been together for long after the incident.We trust and love each other a lot more. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msdeeva 0 Report post Posted December 14, 2005 I think if a person has the urge to cheat, they should let who ever they are with, go. It's really not fair for a person to think they can have their cake and eat it too. If you love someone, don't cheat, it is as simple as that.Now if you do cheat, I think honesty is the best policy. There should not be any secrets in relationship. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
