Oxygen 0 Report post Posted June 11, 2005 First of all I should mention that since I am new I don't know which section would be best for this Thread. If it's in the wrong section please move it into the right one, I'm sure I'll learn soon. This is probably one of the best things that I discovered on the net.The Lord of ...Whatever If you do not wish to read it here are some parts from the the first few chapter which I found to be funny. This is the speech by Bilbo at his Farewell party: " My dear Bagginses and Bracegirdles, Boffins and Borfledebees, Casmits and Cantankerums, Fassbinders and Fazoolas, Wombats and Wafflefoots. "WaffleFEET!" cried out an irate old man at the back, in fact the very man who had earned the name when Bilbo's nephew Frodo had accidentally dropped a hot waffle-iron on his feet some years ago. He had borne the Bagginses no ill-will, since the settlement was quite generous. Wafflefoots, continued Bilbo, oblivious. This is my nine hundreth birthday! And though one million years is too short a time to have spent with you all... There was some muffled conversation throughout the hall, which Bilbo took notice of. Well, on bad days it seems like a million years, he explained. Anyway, though ten billion years is long enough to endure from all of you, this is IT... I am GOING... I am leaving NOW... GoodBYE! And with that Bilbo leaped up, tore all his clothes off, scattering them about the astonished guests' heads, and ran from the great Hut screaming and flailing his arms. Young Frodo looked on in bemusement, refusing to answer questions from the astonished crowd. Everyone knew, of course, that Bilbo was a big man in the community. But - and Frodo looked at the crowd, particularly noting the astonishment on old Lobelia's face - until now, nobody knew just how big." This is where Gandalf tells Bilbo to leave the ring for Frodo. "Including the Ring?" Gandalf asked. "Well, yes, I suppose so," Bilbo replied. He pulled the Ring out from under his cloak, where it hung on a fine golden chain Bilbo had stolen of old from the Brandybucks. "Still, though, I kind of hate to get rid of it." "This seemed to me to be the only thing worthwhile about your whole stupid plan," Gandalf said uncharacteristically. "Put it on the mantel and walk away from it. It has got far too much hold on you. Let it go!" "It's mine! And I shall keep it, I say!" Gandalf raised himself up to his full height. Bilbo's hand reached quietly for the hilt of his sword. "It will be my turn to get angry soon," the wizard intoned. "Listen to me: you must give Frodo the Ring!" Bilbo suddenly laughed. "Oh, that?" he grinned. "Well, of course I'm giving him the Ring! I thought you meant the chain." Here Gandalf tells Frodo about destroying the ring: "Take it to Mordor and drop it in the Cracks of Doom," said Gandalf. "If you don't, Sauron will come and take it. And you don't want him to do that; he gets pissed off at people who have touched his precious ring." He lit a cigar. "But if you put an end to the ring, you off Sauron too. The little dimwit infused so much of himself in the ring that his destruction with it is certain." "But I remember how you once told me that Sauron thought the ring had been destroyed." "I did. He thought it had been thrown into the Cracks of Doom, as should have happened. Now, however, he knows that it isn't so." "But how can he have thought any such thing? If the ring had been destroyed he wouldn't have been around; so he should have realized that the ring had not been destroyed." "As I told you, he is a dimwit. He really is incredibly stupid." When Frodo is leaving Bag End: "Sam!" he called. "Sam! Time!" "Coming, sir!" came the answer from far within, followed soon by Sam himself, wiping his mouth. "I was just saying farewell to Rosi--um, the beer-barrel in the cellar." During Frodo's talk with Gildor: "Can you give me any advice?" "No. Yes." said Gildor." And since this post is long enough already I'll finish here with Frodo's bathtime song Rubber Ducky, you're the one, You make bathtime lots of fun, Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you; (woh woh, bee doh!) Rubber Ducky, joy of joys, When I squeeze you, you make noise! Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend, it's true! (doo doo doo doooo, doo doo) Rubber Ducky, you're so fine And I'm lucky that you're mine Rubber ducky, I'm awfully fond of - Rubber ducky, I'd like a whole pond of - Rubber ducky I'm awfully fond of you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mama_soap 0 Report post Posted June 11, 2005 Haven't read too much Tolkien myself, but I might check this out, looks interesting I think you got the section spot on, as long as you're not looking for credits Share this post Link to post Share on other sites