lordofthesabbath 0 Report post Posted June 8, 2005 "I am A Worm"Verse:Raging war against the law of my mindMaking me a prisoner of the law of sinMy tears have fed me day and nightMy heart turns to wax, it melts withinWaging war again, and againPre-Chorus:What a wretched man am IWhat a wretched manChorus:Who will rescue me from thisBody of deathThanks be to GodThrough the SonI am a worm and not a manAll my bones are out of jointVerse:When i want to do goodEvil is there with meWhen i want to do goodEvil's there tempting meMy tears have fed me day and nightPre-Chorus:What a wretched man am IWhat a wretched manChorus:Who will rescue me from thisBody of deathThanks be to GodThrough the SonI am a worm and not a manAll my bones are out of jointMy GodWhy have you forsaken me?My GodWhy are you so far from saving me?So far from the words of my groaning (X2)Chorus (X2)Who will rescue me from thisBody of deathThanks be to GodThrough the SonI am a worm and not a manAll my bones are out of jointI AM A WORM! (X4)____________________________Ok i know this isnt an mp3 of someone singing it but please give feedback anyway.This song was composed by me, Esteban Ramirez, and has not yet been publishedThanks you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amezis 0 Report post Posted June 8, 2005 Is there a melody or something like that? If not, I would call it a poem... :PBut you don't repeat things in a poem like in songs... Like "I AM A WORM! (X4)"... But hmmm a melody should be nice... Just try to find a well-known one, or give us a midi file with the melody, or a MP3...Nice "song" anyway Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lordofthesabbath 0 Report post Posted June 8, 2005 i got the "guitar beat" for it but i just wanted people to look at the content of the song, not the rythm and such. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sprnknwn 0 Report post Posted June 8, 2005 I like the lyrics. Dark, depressing... they fit really good in a grunge or metal song. Attending to your user name (lordofthesabbath) I suppose that you make metal with big riffs like Black Sabbath, don?t you?I would like to hear the music. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lordofthesabbath 0 Report post Posted June 8, 2005 Thank you for your feedback, yah my band is a Christian Metal/Alt. Rock band and this is a Metal piece. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rejected 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2005 It sounds very good! Or bad I should say. I can imagine the tune right now..it would sound great. The lyrics are very meaningful aswell, tell me if I'm wrong.I'm thinking you're saying that you're having a war of trying to not sin, but you can't stop yourself. You're sad and angry with yourself, hence your "heart melting." and you want God to rescue you.I'm sure there's more if I got more in depth with it, but I'll leave the rest of the people to try and interpret the rest :PVery nice lord of the sabbath, I think your band's fans will like this. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aotlo 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2005 nice song, its alot better than anything i could write. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lordofthesabbath 0 Report post Posted June 9, 2005 Right u are rejected, it already has a kinda grunge beat. If only i had a singer, thanks for the feedback guys! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
