And It All Falls Apart...

[Frylock12 0]

Ok, I've got this friend. She has this boyfriend. Both have been my good friends (she more than him) for a long time. In fact, they were two of the only people that didn't turn thier back on me after the unpleasentness with my ex-girlfriend.Anyway, her name is Kayla, and her boyfriend is Kyle. Kyle cheats on her, treats her pretty crappy, and even recently broke up with her for his ex-girlfriend.When this happened, Kayla called me and cried the entire night. We stayed up from about 1 till about 8, just talking. I was trying to keep her positive and keep her mind off of Kyle. She really loves him.Anyway, through the day, sometime they talk and he convinces her to get back with him. Now, bear in mind I really like both people, I just hate the way Kyle treats her.Anyway, last night, she is complaining to me about how her family do nothing but complain about her being with him. I finally found my voice and told her what I thought. I told her basically that he treats her badly and she deserves so much better because she really is an awesome girl.Anyway, she gets super pissed at me thinking I'm trying to tear them apart and all that crap. Then she tells Kyle, and he thinks I am talking crap about him. Then he finds out she called me the other night and he assumes I am trying to steal his girlfriend.He calls me last night, at first having someone pretend to be him, then he gets on the phone all threatening me and crap (I know, its pathetic he is like 20 years old.).Anyway, I try to call him today because he had to go back to work last night because I want to settle things. I don't want to lose my friends (especially Kayla). He blows me off and says he is going to call me right back then never does.It pisses me off. I was just trying to help my best friend realize she is in the same place I was in a few months ago.I hate people.

[guangdian 0]

take it easy.. the life is just a sort of waiting , or wasting. nothing worth to sigh

[switch 0]

hey.look, to put it bluntly, people will be like that. nobody's perfect, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.but these things pass, and all you can do is wait patiently, and speak from your heart (i know it sounds soppy). Don't hide what u feel from yourself or your friends, miscommunications can escalate an already bad problem.i've only heard a third of the story, but it sounds like you have a fair case.Maybe you shouldn't just tell Kayla that she deserves better, but also tell Kyle that Kayla deserves better (in the most peaceful way possible).everything will work out in the end, it always does :Pgood luck buddy.

[brandice 0]

It takes a lot of courage to tell someone what you actually think instead of just telling them what they want to hear when you are the supportive friend. I agree that the only way to straighten this out is to tell Kyle the same thing you told Kayla. It's out in the open now so you have to be blunt. It'll work out better that way because you won't have any unanswered questions and confusion over the whole thing and it will be much easier to remain friends in the long run.

[Joshua 0]

You know, if people are so quick to misjudge you and your intentions, how well do they think they really know you? And do you really think they were/are your friends? If they don't want to be your friends you're probably better off just leaving it at that and not worrying about it, maybe someday they'll realize their mistakes and regret it. Until then, if they don't want your help or friendship, why try to force it on them? If they don't want to know you, fine. I'd really suggest letting it be, I'm guessing they'll figure it out sooner or later. Kyle obviously doesn't care about Kayla and if she's got any kind of intelligence she'll realize eventually that you were just trying to help. If she gets hurt from it it will be her own fault and once she realizes that maybe you can still be friends again someday. As for Kyle I don't know that there's much hope of a friendship with someone who hurts people and then threatens the ones who try to help them. Just stay away from that guy would be my best advice to you.

[Milovoriel 0]

As for Kyle I don't know that there's much hope of a friendship with someone who hurts people and then threatens the ones who try to help them. Just stay away from that guy would be my best advice to you.

Too right! .... who needs a friend who threatens you just because his backs against the wall? .... move on, you deserve better ....

[pensive-muse 0]

This guy doesn't really sound like much of a friend at all. People aren't perfect, but threatening someone who is a close friend is kind of one of those warning signs. And considering the way he treats his girlfriend, I'm not sure if Kyle is really the kind of person you need to be friends with.I think maybe you should try talking to Kayla before Kyle. Explain to her that you weren't trying to break her and Kyle up and that you don't want to lose their friendship over a misunderstanding. If she explains to Kyle that she was mistaken, it might be easier for you to make peace with him if you really want to.

[Joshua 0]

This guy doesn't really sound like much of a friend at all.  People aren't perfect, but threatening someone who is a close friend is kind of one of those warning signs.  And considering the way he treats his girlfriend, I'm not sure if Kyle is really the kind of person you need to be friends with.

 

I think maybe you should try talking to Kayla before Kyle.  Explain to her that you weren't trying to break her and Kyle up and that you don't want to lose their friendship over a misunderstanding.  If she explains to Kyle that she was mistaken, it might be easier for you to make peace with him if you really want to.

161549[/snapback]

Yeah, talking to Kayla does sound like good advice as a first resort. If she refuses to talk to you you're probably better off just removing yourself from such a sticky situation however and letting them realize their mistakes on their own.