Our Morbid Lullaby It is a song i wrote for my band...

[fireofgoths 0]

please do not take notice to the many spelling erorrs i am working on them...Our Morbid Lullaby (Chorus)Strike a resounding cordIn the hearts of the And they rise like a tide to join meIn my morbid Lullaby(Verse I)The Mom?rys kept by no oneFor to no one we singWe dwell in utter darknessBut still our song we bringWe?re Down Here In the deep landsMuch lower than the skiesAnd if we please the darknessThen will Then Arise(Chorus x I)(Verse 2)The Favor no oneFor who have they to fearAnd to their bling HeartsOur lullaby draws nearWe Sing in DiscordThe lyrics of our songAnd the come out to join usFor we have proved them wrong(Chorus x I)(Bridge)Sing, oh yea deceasedSing, for all to hearSing, to prove a pointSing, oh yea deceased(Verse III)Our Lullaby?s a sad oneWe sing it all the sameThe tide now joins in with usThe they sing in shamePut draws to an end nowThe begin to moanThe music stops foreverAnd they are left alone(Chorus x 2)Our Morbid LullabyOur? Lullaby__________________oppinions are welcome!

[PingGolferS59 0]

I like your song I think is had a lot of meaning behind it and the listener can tell what you are trying to get off of the song.Here is a final I wrote for world at war tell me what you think of itThe statement Citizens can act as historians, is very true. I think everyone in the world can be a historian in some kind of way. In World War I Sgt. York was a thirty year old out of Tennessee who was drafted when we declared war on Germany. So he and the regiment were on their way and they got lose because the map was in French and they ended up right behind enemy lines. Germans turned the machine guns at their own people. They ended up killing some Americans but York?s commander told him to take out the machine and he did saving American lives from being killed. Sgt. York was just doing what he was told and ended up saving lives and it went down in history and he was awarded for his bravery.In World War II people that had nothing to do with the fighting at all ended up saving over 340,000 soldiers. When Germany and England were fighting at Dunkirk it was looking bad for the British and fisherman all over the see came to the rescuer to help save the soldiers. They didn?t have to do that but they did because it was the good thing to do. They risked their life to save soldiers and I think everyone should be glad for them because they helped save soldiers that helped us through out World War I and World War II.Robert McNamara who was the Secretary of Defense during The Vietnam War made that documentary of what he went through during the war. The movie educated the people who watched it and also let them see a side of McNamara most people never seen. He acted as a historian because he did things in Vietnam that made the outcome they way it was. There were some things he didn?t want to do but he did anyways. So Citizens can act as historians and they always will. There will be people in the world that will do things that have an impact on something whether is it a good thing or a bad thing.Black Jack Pershing was an individual who did great harm in World War I. When Wilson declared war on Germany Pershing was a General and he was appointed Commander in Chief of AEF. The battle of Meuse-Argonne was the only U.S. major battle. The United States won the battle and the Germans retreated. Their navy also quit and when the navy quits the soldiers quit and when the soldiers quit people quit. So Black Jack Pershing was an individual who did great good for us anyways he did great harms for the Germans.In World War II Oppenheimer was the scientist who led the Manhattan Project. He helped create the atomic bomb and he will go down in history for that. Oppenheimer did great good for us not too much for Japan. After both bombs were dropped the total count of people dead 120,00 and 100,00 injured. The bombs destroyed the town?s military centers and transportation centers. Oppenheimer helped us defeat the Japanese in World War II by getting the atomic bomb developed quickly.William Westmoreland who was the General who commanded Vietnam in June 1964. He wanted to send more troops to Vietnam and developing strategies in Vietnam. President Johnson disapproved of this and after Westmoreland stopped the Vietnamese TET Offensive William was replaced by General Creighton Abrams. When he returned to the U.S. he was appointed Chief of Staff of the U.S. army. So the statement individuals can do great harm and great good is true and it will be forever.Governments can do great harm and great good just like individuals. The Germany Army who was led by Kaiser Wilhelm. The German government did great harm through out the World War I and World II. The Germans wanted to take over Europe so they were attacking innocent countries just to have more territory trying to expand we call this imperialism. No one could stop the Germans the French tried to take Berlin and it was the worst day In French history. In four days 40,000 French were killed. Later on the Germans would be defeated, as we all know.After World War I Hitler was appointed Chancellor and he blamed the Jews for losing the war. So Hitler and his Nazi Party started the Final Solution, which was the Holocaust. The Holocaust is the systematic killing of over 6 million Jews and Gypsies. The put Jews in concentration camps and killed them just to get rid of them. Now if that isn?t great harm than none of us know what it is. A government that did Great good in my eyes was Ronald Reagan and His Administration. He helped end the cold war and stop Communism. Now there is still Communism around but not as much as there would be if the Soviet Union didn?t turn towards Democracy. After Vietnam the U.S. had a bad military because Jimmy Carter didn?t really care about the military he focused more on Human Rights. So when Reagan came in to Presidency he made the military very strong. So governments can do great harm and great good just like individuals.

[lordofthesabbath 0]

Dont mean to be rude but PinGolfer, please dont post that in someone elses topic, since its pretty long you shoulda posted that in its own topic. But yah that song was good! i liked it alot!.

[ilimanation 0]

Yes, Please Do Not Post Somthing Like That In Someone Elses Forum, And Yes I Truly Like That Song....I Appluade(I Know Its Spelled Wrong).

[biscuitrat 0]

It's a bit simple, true. But if the music's all right, it should be fine. I can't really find anything morbid about it. The word morbid denotes gore, bloodshed and nasties. It's just kind of sad. It would be a bit more meaningful if you added examples. Also, it wouldn't really qualify as a lullaby, would it?

Now for an analysis of your lyrics:

Strike a resounding cordIn the hearts of the
And they rise like a tide to join me
In my morbid Lullaby

- In the hearts of the what?

The Momrys kept by no oneFor to no one we sing
We dwell in utter darkness
But still our song we bring

-Mom'ry? A plural would probably be "mom'ries..." or something like that. This part doesn't have much meter. Try something like this:

The [momries] we keep no longer
Our voices are unheard
We dwell in utter darkness
Yet still, to our song we've given birth

Ah, never mind. I'll stick to my own writing. Songs have never been my forte.