iGuest 3 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 Post your favourite jokes here!Heres one!Defense Attorney: What is your age? Little old Woman: I am 86 years old. Defense Attorney: Will you tell us, in your own words, what happened to you? Little old Woman: There I was, sitting there in my swing on my front porch on a warm spring evening, when a young man comes creeping up on the porch and sat down beside me. Defense Attorney: Did you know him? Little old Woman: No, but he sure was friendly. Defense Attorney: What happened after he sat down? Little old Woman: He started to rub my thigh. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him? Little old Woman: No, I didn't stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little old Woman: It felt good. Nobody had done that since my Abner passed away some 30 years ago. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little old Woman: He began to rub my breasts. Defense Attorney: Did you stop him then? Little old Woman: No, I did not stop him. Defense Attorney: Why not? Little old Woman: Why, Your Honor, his rubbing made me feel all alive and excited. I haven't felt that good in years. Defense Attorney: What happened next? Little old Woman: Well, I was feeling so spicy that I just laid down and said to him, "Take me ... young man ... take me." Defense Attorney: Did he take you? Little old Woman: Hell, no. He just yelled, "April Fool." .... and that's when I shot the little bastard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iGuest 3 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 XD I like it!Like mine? A guy walked into a bar... he said 'ouch'! :DA lot of people probably dont think thats funny, but i love it Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iGuest 3 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 That joke is fun... whether April fool or not. Sorry I do not have one.... next time I will if I have one... if not I should have done now, but I am not in a position to do, so next time.... it goes on.. and on... lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iGuest 3 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 This has to be a joke!Student Suspended Over Suspected Use of PHPTopeka, KS - High school sophomore Brett Tyson was suspended today after teachers learned he may be using PHP."A teacher overheard him say that he was using PHP, and as part of our Zero-Tolerance policy against drug use, he was immediately suspended. No questions asked," said Principal Clyde Thurlow. "We're not quite sure what PHP is, but we suspect it may be a derivative of PCP, or maybe a new designer drug like GHB."Parents are frightened by the discovery of this new menace in their children's school, and are demanding the school do something. "We heard that he found out about PHP at school on the internet. There may even be a PHP web ring operating on school grounds," said irate parent Carol Blessing. "School is supposed to be teaching our kids how to read and write. Not about dangerous drugs like PHP."In response to parental demands the school has reconfigured its internet WatchDog software to block access to all internet sites mentioning PHP. Officials say this should prevent any other students from falling prey like Brett Tyson did. They have also stepped up locker searches and brought in drug sniffing dogs.Interviews with students suggested that PHP use is wide spread around the school, but is particularly concentrated in the geeky nerd population. When contacted by BBspot.com, Brett Tyson said, "I don't know what the hell is going on dude, but this suspension gives me more time for fraggin'. Yee haw!"PHP is a hypertext preprocessor, which sounds very dangerous. It is believed that many users started by using Perl and moved on to the more powerful PHP. For more information on how to recognize if your child may be using PHP visit php.net. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iGuest 3 Report post Posted February 4, 2005 ROFL to both.. Here's mine contribution:Another school day it was for little John. His teacher was on another spree of her boring lessons. This time she yapped about circles. Little John had very little interest in the lecture so he started snoozing. The teacher noticed this and asked Little John to come up to the board and draw an example of circle. Little John got up from his seat and walked over to the board, and sketched a picture of an *bottom*. The teacher grew furious and sent Little John to the principal's office. Upon arrival at the principal's office, the principal asks Little Johny,"Where is your teacher, young man?"Little Johny replied, "She's in the classroom wiping *bottom*"I hope you liked it. This is an older one that I just rememberd and wrote it down. It is my favorite joke of all time! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
