Official Jokes Thread: just looking for good ones

[iGuest 3]

any good jokes you know of just post them thnx

[iGuest 3]

Q: why did the chicken cross the road.A: because he wanted to get to the other side.-----------------------So the other day, I had an ice cube, and I put my lighter to it, and it melted.....yea im out.

[iGuest 3]

Q: why did the chicken cross the road.
A: because he wanted to get to the other side.

-----------------------

So the other day, I had an ice cube, and I put my lighter to it, and it melted.

....yea im out.

ok that was lame (no offense)

[iGuest 3]

know this is old, and corny, by here goes:This Frog walks into a bank, goes up the the Teller window, the sign says: "P. Black"He says to the teller: "I need a loan.".Patty, the teller, says: "Well, do you have anything for collateral?"The frog looks a little thoughtful, and then pulls out this wierd think with a screw on one end, and a lever on the other, and a curly thing in the middle, and it goes "Sproink!" when you twist it... and he hands it to the teller.Patty looks at it, and can't figure out what it is, so she goes back to the bank manager's office, and shows the thing to her boss. He takes a good look at it, and says:"It's a knick-knack, Patty Black, give the Frog a Loan!"MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ok, you can beat me up now...

[iGuest 3]

These three men are going through CIA training, trying to become secretagents. They finally get through all their written and physical tests whenthey are pulled aside by one of the instructors who takes them to a small roomwith a one way mirror in it looking into another room.They bring the first guy's wife into that room and leave her there. Theinstructor then loads two rounds into a pistol, hands it to the first man andsays "Go kill your wife of five years." The trainee takes the weapon, goesinto the next room but comes back out 1 minute later and says "I can't do it."The instructor replies, "Then you fail out - get out."They then bring the second guy's wife into the room and leave her there. Theinstructor then loads two rounds into a pistol, hands it to the second man andsays "Go kill your wife of ten years." The trainee takes the weapon , goesinto the next room but comes back out 3 minutes later and says "I can't doit." The instructor replies, "Then you fail out - get out."Finally, they bring the third guy's wife into the room and leave her there.The instructor then loads two rounds into a pistol, hands it to the third manand says "Go kill your wife of fifteen years." The trainee takes the weapon,goes into the next room where there is silence for 1 minute. Suddenly, thereare two gunshot sounds followed by a huge commotion in the room. The thirdman came out finally, sweating profusely, and says, "Good job, douchebag! Yougave me blanks - I had to choke the b!atch!"

[iGuest 3]

There is a little blind girl. One night says to her mother "Mom, I don't want to be blind anymore" The mom says "well honey, tommorow is a special day. If you pray really hard, when you wake up you won't be blind."The girl is very excited show goes to bed extra early, and prays really hard. She falls alseep praying.When she wakes up she is so excited she doesn't open her eyes, she runs down stairs (she's blind, she's good at running with her eyes closed) and says "mommy, I'm getting ready to open my eyes and see" She opens here eyes, and says "mommy I can't see!" The mom says "I know, April Fools!"

[iGuest 3]

i shoulndt post 3 times in a row if i were you you could get warned/banned

[iGuest 3]

I know someone who posted nine times in a row. Just search in the chat forum and you'll find it.

[iGuest 3]

There were three men stranded on a desert & they happen to come upon an old lamp. They rub it and POOF a genie pops out. "Since you've freed me I'll give each of you one wish but make sure you think hard about what you want". The first man wished he was back at home living with lots and lots of money. POOF his wish is granted. The second man asks for a brand new car. POOF his wish is also granted. So last but not least the 3rd man asks to be 3 times smarter than any man in the world. The genie asks him if that's what he really wants & the man eagerly answers yes. The genie asks one more time if he's sure that's what he wants to wish for. yes. POOF he becomes a woman!haha

[iGuest 3]

I know someone who posted nine times in a row. Just search in the chat forum and you'll find it.

Was it you?

[iGuest 3]

I know someone who posted nine times in a row. Just search in the chat forum and you'll find it.

Was it you?

Lol, no. I might have double posted once or twice, but with a reason, like a totally different subject.

Here is the thread, go look for yourself and count to 9.

http://forums.xisto.com/

[iGuest 3]

Q. Why did the baby cross the road?A. He was stapled to the chicken.Q. Why do new-born babies have a soft spot on their heads?A. So you can pick 'em up five at a time.Q. What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?A. I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.There's a lot more, but I'd probably get into trouble for posting them here (besides, I'm not even sure if the jokes in this post are acceptable). o_o

[iGuest 3]

heh...that reminds me of a joke by Stephen King...Whats the difference between a truckload of bowling balls and a truckload of babies?actually...i will not post the answer...a little too 'graphic'!

[iGuest 3]

should be banned

[iGuest 3]

Yo Mama is soo fat she has to wear a wristwatch on both arms cuzz she's in two different timezones!