GrinningKittie

Hellosies!I know it has been a while since I have posted. Things have been CRAZY! You see I run a Live Group ( as opposed to dead? Haha). What I mean is I am aClub Organizer and it sometimes eats into my schedule.So what kind of club do I run? Anime for adults. By adults I mean that the members in Tacoma Anime Meetup are 18 years of age on up. I do NOT mean that we watch just explicitly adult programming. I clarify this because when I say adult anime people think of Hentai which is a classification of anime that has nudity or sex ( ranging from mild to OMG please put that back and blind me repeatedly).What is anime? Japanese cartoons. You may be familiar with Yu-Gi-Oh, Dragon Ball Z, Pokemon or Digimon. Those are all anime titles. The nice thing about anime is even though it is all animated, it is NOT all meant for cutesy kid programming. Anime spans all ages and genres. Romance, Action, Comedy, Ecchi ( adult humour but not necessarily hentai), Fantasy, you name it.So why anime? Well my husband is a HUGE anime buff. One of his biggest complaints is that he had a hard time connecting with others of like interest. A lot of people either have no clue what it is or think it's just kiddy or nasty stuff. So I started a live group through meetup.com ( a great place to find others who have your same hobby interests. Some examples are crocheting, dancing, wine tasting, hiking....the list is endless). I'm really not all that into anime ( though there are a few titles I do enjoy) however I do have experience in running a Live Group ( I inherited a Pagan/Witches/Wiccan Meetup Group at one point.....that is another story all together though). So what do we do? Well obviously we watch anime. Many members enjoy reading, translating and trading manga ( these are comic book like paperbacks), drawing up and sharing fan art, making fan fiction, and playing video games. We also listen to J-pop/rock ( Japanese pop or rock music), trying our taste buds out on some japanese cuisines ( one of our members makes some awesome bean paste filled mocchi). We also have a member or two that are fluent in japanese so sometimes the members have fun learning new words. We also have members that are into CosPlay. Wha?COStume PLAY. This means to dress up as a favorite anime character. I always love seeing the members sport their imaginitve outfits.We have a LOT of fun and have come a LONG way. We are just over a year old and are going strong even though this summer the events could not be held at my house ( I had way too much family staying with me this summer). The average number of heads for these fun events are in the 20's. It's a good thing I have a large house! LOL! I hold the meetings twice a month so that there is twice the opportunity to hang out. While anime is NOT my thing I have made plenty of good friends because of this club running.Recently a really good anime shop opened up nearby and the owner has an unused second floor. He offered it to us to use. OMGosh! It is huge! So now the meetups will be held only once a month at my house. Our first official event there is coming up soon and I am just running in circles! LOL! See it was a huge EMPTY space. So I've been hustling and bustling to get furniture, tvs and other stuff for the space. A lot of the members have been real helpful too. Much in the way of hanging wall scrolls and posters have been donated. The cool thing about this space is that we can paint our own anime inspired mural on it.Okay in reality it's me that will be doing most of the drawing on the wall. Other members have offered to paint in what I draw. Plus the members spewed out many ideas on what they would like to see up on the walls.So yeah. It's been crazy busy. New members and new space to prep.The way I run the events is pretty laid back. We ask for donations and each event is a potluck. As I say I can house an army but I canna feed one! LOL!Another thing I really want to start up is a chapter in my town for Project Linus. Project Linus is full of "blanketeers" who knit, crochet, or quilt blankets for children ( ages fresh out of the oven to 18) who are in the hospital. I love crocheting and really want to start some blankets for PL. Right now though I am logged behind on blankets ( trying to get 6 child sized ones done for the holidays). If you are interested in PL just google it ( Project Linus).Since I am going on about groups I will go ahead and explain that Paganesque one that I mentioned earlier. A few years back a friend of mine started it up. I could hardly make it though as her youngest child is my age.....this means her home is not child friendly and with me having two children.......yeah. I can't ALWAYS get a sitter. I was able to start making it though and at one of her events I asked her how she felt about splitting up the hosting location. Her house every other month. The other months we could hold it at my house. That way people with kids could attend as my house is child friendly ( and even baby proofed) so if no one could find a sitter they could still attend. I offered to play house marm. She agreed. Said it was an awesome idea. So we started the next one at my place. I never saw her at another meetup again ( although we are still good friends).Anyways I ran it a bit differently ( she liked to put empasis on learning with ritual). I ran it as an informational event. Members would pick a topic they wanted to know about ( reiki, stones, tarot, herbs, whatever) and we would touch base on that. I even encouraged members to strut their knowledge. It was a lot of fun. It eventually petered out though. I think that had to do with the New Age shop that opened up down the road from my place and the owners started their own Paganesque group ( with the emphasis more on magic and what na than informational learning). That was okay with me though. There are plenty of places where I live that cater to new age, druid, wiccan, witchy, pagany, etc people so I just directed the members to the new group and dropped mine. About this time my focus switched to anime ( for my hubby) and that is where I have been since as far as organizing and coordinating a hobbyist group.So......Do any of you run or participate in a hobby group?Which one?Is it through a site like meetup.com or is it less formal?If you run the group how do you run it?If you are a participant ( not a group lead) then what things do you look for? What things make it fun for you? What could use improving?Alright I have babbled quite enough. I look forward to hearing your answers.-GK

so i've come back from haitus ight? and i try to log into my sever via 'coffecup free ftp' which has always served me well! but then i get an error message! it tells me my password and/or handle are incorrect. which of course is a big problem! currently i need to get into the sever to fix a problem with my wordpress directory and being that i am unable to get in via my ftp protocol, my site is laying is utter disfunction. so then i've searched around the site and to no avail. i am unable to remember or find the procedures for correction of my issue with my password being valid yet incorrect! it is the same password i've always used and it matches all of my records! i need help desperatly, so very VERY nicely i am asking for help! please dome make me resort to PMs and begging! if by chance you'd like to check out the site you can view it here. the problem seems to be originating with my word press, but like i said i cant get into the server! any and all help is appreciated! thank you!

LOL!Well I do enjoy crocheting. I've always just dinked around with it and I think actually having some goals helps. I'm learning new patterns and stitches which can be frustrating.....yet fun too. I absolutely LOVE the half shell stitch I have been working with for my cousin's youngest ( I still need to get more yarn for the eldest's blanket). I'm not too thrilled with a strip afghan pattern I discovered ( for my cousin's middle child).....especially since I am convinced it was originally written in Swahili and the darn thing says "easy for beginners". UGH!As for my cousin's family.....it's not that it was horrible....I do love them all very much. It's just it was very stressful. As of now they are slowly getting situated about an hour away from me. Her kids are in school ( and daycare) and are loving the structure. Her eldest will be turning 11 here soon and because they are still living in their RV and he has na had time to make any friends I offered to have his B-Day party at my house. I know he will be ecstatic.Speaking of parties.......the anime meetup that hubby and I created is happening this weekend and everyone is so excited at it being held at my place again that it seems I will be having about 20 guests ( or MORE) over. WOW! LOL! It's been awhile since I have had so many TEMPORARY people in my house! LOL!My son has been doing EXCELLENT since school started. As I mentioned he has some anger management problems and so he is in an alternative school. Last year was one battle after the next. This year though is off to an AWESOME start. His daily report papers keep coming back with nothing but positive praise and you can see the pride he is taking in himself. I think his summer vacation was a great boost for him.My daughter is adjusting to school just fine ( if not the morning routine of getting up, ready and out......she is turning into your typical pre-tee.......).I FINALLY got my room cleaned and cleared ( and rearranged). I got a giant curtain rod ( the kind you twist and the pressure against surfaces hold it in place) and a few curtains to partition my room off into an open area ( where the puter and TV is) and a private area ( my bed!). Since all the adventures this summer I have been finding myself wanting a place I call MY OWN. Unfortunately my dog Link tripped over the curtains and brought the dagummit rod on my head. OW! So my roommate ( my daughter's father) was helping me reposition it back into place when POP! I underestimated his hand strength ( and so did he) and one end went RIGHT through the wall! EESH! It's a good thing I OWN the house........So yeah. Still busy. I'm not trying to make time just speed by. Well sort of. I'm just trying to find productive things to do and I have found that THAT list is endless. LOL! True I am lonely without my hubby ( sweetest man you could ever find) however it is na the loneliness that gets to me ( how could it with all the friends, family and pets I am surrounded with? ) it's the worry. I worry about how safe he is. I worry about how this tour will affect him. I worry about how he is going to be when he gets back ( tour one sucked however tour two really affected him badly). If I am busy with projects ( that I enjoy) then I have less time to worry and become upset. I know I should na fixate on the negative, it's hard though. There is nothing I can do to help him and it makes me feel helpless. So I try to keep busy. I guess it's my way of trying to stay strong for him. It's an emotional balancing act when he is over there. If I am too whiny/clingy it won't do anything for him at all ( who needs that stuff?) however if I come across too independant he starts to think that maybe I really don't need him. Which is na true. I have really lucked out as he has been able to call me a few times already and even though the calls are short ( stupid 11 hour time difference and phone cards that eat one's wallet) I am happy to just hear his voice. And I know he is happy to hear mine and the kids. We tell each other that each day that passes is another day that will bring us closer together.Anyways I ramble.........Hey what is the name of your webcomic? I'd really like to take a look at it if you do na mind.

When I first got intro'd here I posted a LOT. Not just to earn points, but because I really enjoy posting. In the last few months though my life got helter skelter keeeraaaazy.Does that ever happen to you? Where life becomes some insane whirlwind that picks you up and just won't let you drop to some sane ground of safety?Let's see if I can back track some......Back in May my cousin came to stay with me for awhile. Long story behind that ( and not mine to tell). She comes with one neurotic dog ( who we lovingly refer to as the Pickle because for all her bark and might she is about as threatening as the last pickle in a jar). She comes with three kids ranging from age just about three at the time, turning eight at the time and ten. The toddler is delayed. The eight year old has ADD. The ten year old is ADHD/OCD and autistic. Oh yeah and she was seperating from her husband.Did I mention I have two kids, a roommate, a husband and a puppy? Don't forget the 5 cats or so.....Yeah so it was a tad crowded. No bigs. She and her family had stayed with us before ( another long story). Only last time I did na have a roommate, dog or husband at home. Nor was she without a spouse. So yeah it became strenuous.Now add in some double booked fun just for smiles n giggles here......My dear friend B had made plans to visit me late June ( she and her family had been transferred to Hawaii 3 years ago and she said when that term was done she would come visit me on her way back home to her home state). Well late June turned into late May. About the same time my house was already bursting with bodies.B brought her own Pickle ( small attention hound who had a thing for digging all the way to Indochina at various spots in my yard), two cats ( on top of the five I already owned!), two guinea pigs ( this was a last minute afterthought....) and her own two girls ages 4 and 5. June was not a happy month. Cousin and B butt heads alot. I found myself refereeing between adults, kids and both a majority of the time. B was to be leaving by July 4th ( and was taking my son with her to help out on the farm, earn money and do fun summer stuff) but Cousin was in hiatus. My husband was getting ready to deploy sometime in August and he was not happy with all the animals, kids and tension.How is it that trying to do the right thing can end up with so much wrong stuff happening?? UGH!After B left things calmed down somewhat. I ended up with her cats ( they got skittered the day she was leaving and they hid) but that was small potatoes. My Cousin's hiatus situation was still.....in limbo. No progress was happening as far as what was going on as to her seperation or how she was going to get out on her own. I could na kick her out (I'm not heartless).....however my daughter ( who is non-verbal autistic), husband and roommate were all miserable. I finally made Cousin and her husband TALK. Really TALK. Like in person about goals and WTFricklefrack was going on. Her kids were convinced that they were staying at my place forever, the toddler was not potty trained yet, Cousin was burnt out on paperwork ( between registering for welfare and legalities for seperation) and her hubby seemed clueless that it was HIS job to take care of ( support, something!) his family regardless of how messed up their relationship seemed to be.It was a headache for everyone.Eventually my husband and I let them know they had to get their stuff together and find somewhere else to go. August was looming close and he wanted some space and peace before he had to deploy. And there was very prescious little of that going around. Mind you this was to be his third tour and while he was home for a year this time he spent 5 months of that in another state for retraining. Take into account all the 24 hour guard shifts he had done I would say that after tour two he had been at home with us as a family for about 6 months. Hardly any time to readjust back to a family. Now take into account that out of those six months two and a half of those had found themselves booked with extra families. Yeah. It was not going over very well.He understood that I was trying to help people close to me ( in Cousin's case) and that timing was a fluke as far as B's visit goes. I am lucky that he is such a patient man.I had to choose my family though. And it pained me to put anyone else out. There was nothing more I could do though. I could not patch up their relationship. I was not up to rearing kids that were not mine. I'd given out all the resources I could think of.It was really hard and I thought that peeps would end up hating me completely.I am lucky to be blessed with such understanding people in my life.August came by and ended up passing in a blur. As one door closes another one opens. Another friend of ours had moved in ( no kids and he had a job). Hubby actually invited him to stay here ( he gets along with everyone and is real polite).So a new roommate. Then I had my boy sent back to me early so he could hang out with hubby before hubby deployed. THAT was an adventure as my son has never flown by himself before ( he is 13). Nerves got the best of him and the ride home was interesting...As a celebration of my son coming home we ( hubby, roomies and I) fixed his room up. He has had some anger management issues in the past......so we figured he had matured enough to patch the holes up ( something we gave up on doing for awhile....). I also single handedly painted his room ( dark blue, storm blue/lavender window sills, black ceiling) the colors he chose. My son was totally ecstatic at seeing the remake ( his room before was neon lime green and '80's teal.....both colors he picked shortly before turning 11). In fact shorty after he made it home my brother painted some lightening bolts graffiti style in my son's room. Lot's of oohs and ahhs there.At the same time that the room was being revamped one of my best friends was prepping to be married. She asked me to be the Maid of Honor. I've been to a few weddings.....however I always end up in the Best Man's spot ( one wedding I was the Best Wo-Man and the other one I was the Best Adrogyne.....lol!). So I had a LOT to learn quick. Part of that was putting together a party for the Bride to be. I had no idea what to do! Thank the heavens for the internet! To top it off her party and my son's return home were for the SAME NIGHT!!! Yeah THAT was fun.......After all that my hubby got some leave time ( militarese for vacation) and we spent every day taking advantage of the weather. Picnicking, walks along trails, swimming ( indoor and out), bowling and more. Every day was an adventure. I wanted to make memorable memories before he had to go ( and I also know that the closer his date came the more emotionally shut down he would become.....which is normal believe it or not). Some days were so packed I thought my head would spin right off! I guess we had too much fun because before I knew it.........the day came for him to leave. I have na slept much since.That day started at 4 am and didna end until 2 am for me. Since then I have been trying to focus on the kids and the upcoming start of school ( tomorrow actually!).I've worked with my daughter on her handwriting, toured her school ( still need to meet her teacher as she never called back), been helping my son with homework throughout the summer (including a nice puter program that teaches in a manner that is fun and packed full of points much like playing Jeopardy!). Since my husband has left I have redone the kitchen, laundary room, dining room, living room and our room. I still have closets to clean out. My husband and I started a real life anime group about a year ago based out of our house. Since May it has been sort of on hiatus ( hard time finding other members to host it temporarily). Now that my house is cleared out ( so to speak) the meetups ( two a month) will be back here ( and I expect this next one to have quite a turn out as the peeps are excited to no end). So I have that to look forward to.The next two weeks are packed with doctor appointments ( my daughter has a slow G.I. track and my son needs another set of glasses), errands and maybe some socializing. Whew!On top of that I found a lovely organization called Project Linus where blanketeers ( that is what the volunteers call themselves) crochet, knit or quilt blankets for children ( ages 0years to 18 years) who are in the hospital or have suffered trauma. I want to be a blanketeer. I would also love to meet other people who would like to do the same. I am seriously thinking of starting up a chapter in my neck of the woods ( though they only take apps a couple times of year).So yeah.I've been busy and I'm trying to KEEP myself busy. Busy helps make the time pass by quicker.So........what do you find helps you pass the time when you are anxiously awaiting something ( or someone)?

LOl!It is true though. It really IS one of my favorites. It's gotten so that I turned my roommate onto it. He beat it on the NDS and now GameTap offers it. Before my PS2 got sick I started holding mini-Puzzle Crack tournaments with various friends ( who soon found themselves addicted to it).At one point I had played it so much it got to a point that when I closed my eyes all I saw were those horrid little colored baubles, coins, stars and skulls.......oh my. Now that sounds like a demented knock off for Lucky Charms eh?Anyways needless to say I had to step away for awhile ( and that is why my roomy has beaten it before I have lol!)

Do you like plants? Enjoy the way they look? The way they bring a little of Nature's pizazz to your living space? Do you have a green thumb? If you are anything like me then you answered "yes" to all but that last "?". Plants at Home Depot whimper in fear when I meander near their aisles. Cacti cry. They know that my love for plants cannot undo my unnaturally Brown Thumb.Brown Thumb? It is the opposite of a Green Thumb. The Green Thumb magically allows said owner of such talent to be able to make any plant blossom, bloom, grow lavishly and more all seemingly without effort. The Brown Thumb causes withering, tremors, tears, and lots of eventually saggy dead plants no matter the advice received and applied. Even the meticulous reading over of professional instructions on the care for plants can't seem to save a Brown Thumb from his or her doomed destiny of plastic plants.No More says I! For I have found some hardy plants that seem almost to THRIVE on neglect, blunders born of good intentions and more.I can say this as a fellow Brown Thumb. Over the years I have found a few plants that are hardy enough to survive me and I thought I would pass these on to those who would love to have a pet plant but are afraid to try ( if you are like me you may be ridden with guilt at all the lives that wilted at your well intentioned hands in the past).Pileas Birdsnest - This one is awesome. 45 degrees to 85 degrees she will do fine. Did you forget to water her in the last two weeks or so? That is okay too. Well not really but she will forgive you. The important thing here is Sunlight. She likes to be near a window ( not right up in it or out directly on your porch). As long as she has Sunlight nearby she will be happy. When she is happy she will flourish and grow ( this is one of those hanging plant types with vine like arms and lots of leaves). When she is unhappy she may wilt a bit, leaves turning brown and or shrivelly. In that case see how close to the sun she is. Check if the dirt is bown dry. Tear off all those nasty dead leaves.And if you come across withered vines snip them off......you can sometimes grow a whole new plant from them if you put them in water and then dirt once they get roots.I had one Pileas for three years. It eventually met the grave......because I had no where to hang it and my cats mistook it for a cat bed ( SKISH!!!!!)Spider Plant - This one is really easy. Again it does na seem to mind temperture changes. It too likes sunlight ( not in your face sunlight though). I try to water them once a week however I have been known to skip......like up to three weeks....oops..... and they survived. Try something fun with them.....bury different rocks from outside in your plant's soil or egg shell, peanut shells, even sea shells. The different things you put in the soil will affect the colors in your plant ( making them have light streaks in the leaves, dark streaks , etc). Spider plants are pretty fun and easy to work with.Wandering Jew - I did na name it and I forget it's latin name. If you doubt this is an actual plant name google for images. This one is really stupid simple. It loves the moisture in my laundary room so much I never have to water it. This is another hanging plant and when it is happy whoo hoo! I have tendrils that are easily 3 feet or longer off of mine. This one also likes sunlight ( though not direct all the time).Dragon Trees - These guys are haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaardy. I won't mention the abuse mine suffered ( I forgot they were outside on the back porch for a while.....) I will mention that they can go without water for long stints and while they like a lot of sun it is not wise to keep them in direct sunlight ( like on your porch) for extended periods of time.In my experience all of these plants are very forgiving and even if you mess up and they start to go wilty on you, they will recover if you take the time to correct it. I know most plants are like that ( take time to correct it and they get better), however a lot of plants seem to be picky ( even the stupid simple cacti.....which I STILL managed to kill......UGH!)My friend Tuxxy has no experience in plants and wanted one for his apartment. I gave him a Pileas Birdsnest and the simple instructions ( likes sunlight, water when dirt is dry) and his is doing fantabulous ( better than the one I have.......I moved it too close to sunlight....in the summer.....oops....no worries though as she is slowly but surely recovering nicely).So if you are a Brown Thumb do na fret! There is hope! Really there is.And if anyone else has a stupid simple hardy plant they know of PLEASE share. I would really like to have a broader variety of plants in my house.

LOL!I remember recieving this in a bulletin once. I had no idea the silly thing was all garbled up UNTIL I read the part that pointed it out! I was reading it JUST fine up until then. Then all of a sudden it was as if someone had sneezed and rearranged all the letters! I could still read it, however it took a bit more concentration.Weird huh?

This sounds awesome!Do you have any examples of Gitanjali that we can look at?

Oh the dreaded rock crop! Tell me about it! I would really like to find out the reproductory workings of rock so I can get my crop neutered! LOL!As for the morning glory.......yeah. Tenacious does na BEGIN to describe this plant. I LOVE their flowers to no end. It's their tendancy to choke out any other living plant life ( so greedy!!!) that irks me. Why can't they choke out something like OTHER weeds!?I actually own 6 cats......lol! So yeah I wanna keep them around. They have adapted well to Link ( heck they own him so bad!). I have managed to set up some puppy play dates for him with Punchie ( australian shepherd and who knows what mix), Angel ( Alphaesque German Sheperd) and he just made friends with a lil terrier of sorts ( Rudy is his name). My cousin is staying with me and she has a German Shepherd named Ezzie. Link ABSOLUTELY adors Ez however Ez has a timid personality to begin with and so is na too sure what to make of his inquiries to playing with him.Oh yeah about the paint for my fence.....drum roll please......RUSTOLEUM! Yup. Bright blue spray paint rustoleum in a can. There are several different colors you can get. I picked mine up from Home Depot. In fact I got bored and spray painted the flower border rocks blue ( to match the fence lol). It actually turned out fairly nice!All this outdoor work has led to planning for a few more things to do too.Respray fence <----working on that...ran out of sprayLay down porch rug <----done and na a shabby job actuallyScrub off front of house <----done and that was grossRepaint porch fencing and stairs <----today maybe?Put in a new bathroom sink <----hubby and roomy did that one :lol:Still working on plans for reflooring a couple of areas in the house. See what I mean about do-it-yourselfness? LOL! My roommate ( who has been helping me out alot with these endeavors) keeps teasing me and says I should get my own HDTV home improvement show. I just slap him happily ( in a show of good friendship mind you). :)Right now I am off to go make some pirogis ( for dinner). Mmmmm pirogis!!!!

Hellosies again!I guess I came off kinda jarbled.I'll try again :lol:The power of prayer broken down ( as seen in my views):Is not STRICTLY a religious thing ( at least from the angle I am coming from).:)What I am talking about here is the focusing of one's energy via the title of prayer. I am not DISCLUDING the power of prayer soley due to Jesus, Buddha, Mary , God or whomever. I'm just putting another angle on it to show a non- religious ( or even a non- mainstream) view point to it that is available to everyone.Under this angle Jesus, Buddha, Mary, God ( whomever) would be a FOCAL point ( think some mental picturesque/tangible bridge) for you to use your own energy.BTW while prayer and meditation may both bring a sense of calm I am not saying they are the same thing. With prayer one usually has a point of focus ( LOOSE example: Dear God, Sally is sick real bad can you please look after her?) while with meditation one is slowing themselves down so that one CAN focus ( possibly with a mantra such as Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, pronounced as Nahm mee -oh ho reng kay kee-oh though can be drawned out as Nahmmm mee -oh hoooo reng kay kee- ohhhh , a much used by Buddhist sutra-).In my examples used in my first post I was not trying to insinuate that one prays TO the bacteria, water,patient, etc. I guess I came across a bit off. I meant FOR. NOT TO. This means one is not praying TO anything or anyone to do anything. Instead this means praying ( or focusing energy via as examples lightening a candle for strength, praying to God, Jesus, etc, or sending personal energy with a precise goal) to help facilitate FOR said thing or person. I used the water, bacteria,patient, etc. examples as a plausible, physical, visual, focal point. Our society these days depends so much on the whole "seeing is believing" bit ( and due to the technology of say photoshop- as an example-, even THAT is suspect to every detailed eye). I thought I would try to give some "tangible" examples to explain. Not to confuse. I do apologize for any miscommunication.So what does this mean for God,Jesus,Mary,Buddha, etc.? Not a whole lot really. If praying TO helps you focus in your intent for a FOR then by no means don't stop. By no means am I saying that you are you wrong. I'm not saying that a said deity is NOT involved.I'm just saying that there is more involved in the power of prayer than the intervention ( or the expectation) of deity ( no matter it's origins or perceptions by individuals). That "more" factor is the individual him/herself. It starts with the person first before it can be carried out by the self or anyone/anything else.

Ouch! That sounds like no fun at all! I would suggest using the Ghettofied Certified program of edging by using scissors, but it seems you have loads of space to cover and I wouldna blame you for shooting THAT idea down.We finally got the backyard done. Well mostly. LOL! I'm still having to make arrangements to get rid of the junk pile, I have no idea what to do with the rock pile, and parts of my neighbors scrap wood pile will be turned into some above garden planter boxes ( I'm feeling gutsy and want to make an above ground veggie garden). Other than that it looks very sweet and homey now. I even cleared a perfect little spot for BBQing ( we even bought a grill so we could grill this summer ).The next project to tackle was finding the Lost City of El Dorado........Yeah, yeah yeah. I exaggerated again..... what I refer to is the No Man's Land of my dreaded FRONT yard!Yesterday I was hoping I could trade my backyard in for my front. This was not the case at all. The front yard was jealous and vehement that I was spending all my time out back and so in a furious frenzy of toddler like tantrumdom, it went to hades in a handbasket and quickly. Stashed in it's hidden arsenol of weaponry I battled against such things like:Rabid Morning Glory and all it's miles and miles and MILES of root systems. They do na call that flowering weed "Bindweed" for nothing!Terrifying Tarp.....tarp that has been hiding the MG squad. See there was tarp laid down where my purple bearded Irises are now. We opted to keep the tarp ( three years ago) and plant the Irises and Rose Campion through the seemingly harmless stuff. I was told it helped controlled weeds. LIES! LIES LIES LIES!!!! If controlled means make them steroid sized then yes. It does that very well. So I had to cut through the tarp to keep my irises and campion ( which some of the campion had bred ABOVE the tarp and was doing quite well). I forgot about the beauty bark that was all over the place....... I HATE beauty bark! Random Wandering Weeds.....just when you thought you got them all something sticks to your skin and begs to be pulled out. We have identified FIVE different types of weeds in either yard ( and many of them playing ring around the rosey happily with each other).Monsterously THICK grass.......so thick it laughed when Jay ( my roommate) and I used shovels against it to do some edging......Speaking of edging we found out that this section ( the flower garden) had been cheerfully neglected for SO long that the grass had eaten the rocks originally used as a border of sorts. Rocks ranged from my fist sized to small seedless round watermelon sized. Nothing like clanging a shovel up against hidden rocks to remind you that you have fillings! When I was pulling parts of the tarp up FOUR rocks fell out!!! One was watermelon sized.........Now I know how to PROPERLY feed grass!Death Bush.......some nappy bush that I had to saw through. It used to be a fairly okay looking nappy bush until Aaron and KC ( my son and his best friend) skished it. So I got rid of it ( and more dandelions and MORE MORNING GLORY).CrackGrass......this be the type of grass ( reinforced by nappy weeds) that grow in between the segments and any cracks of cement walkways. On occasion CrackGrass will call in reinforcements from worms, grubs, colonies of ants and colonies of young earwigs. Ew. I canna stand earwigs ( even if they are really cute as babies).Tree born Blackberry Bushes. Apparently my Hawthorn Tree ( the tall nappy one that makes red berries and WONDERFUL fertilizer) got infiltrated by a blackberry bush. And MorningGlory. And Dandelions. And two other types of cheerful weeds. And even more baby blackberry bushes....Poo piles and a secret cat box......you gotta love animals. And other peeps animals too. See I try to get play dates for Link ( my 8 month old mostly Australian Shepherd pound puppy mix) with other dogs . So far he has Angel ( a 100 pound 3 year old German Shepherd) and Punchie ( a 75 pound 18 month old Australian sheperd(s)/ pit ( i think) mix). He recently made friends with an 8 month old Jack terrier named Rudy. Anyways when dogs come to play they sometimes leave a gift as thanks. Punchie poo is grooooossss. And the Secret Catbox? Under my porch. I don't even want to talk about it ( especially since there is no human access under there). That will be a project unto itself I am sure.......Crumbly vines of doom.......pounds of dead MG woven through my chainlink fence. I never thought that dead, crisp, dry, brown and LIGHT vines could weigh so MUCH! At one point I had a clump big enough to sign up as a tumbleweed for any westerns being filmed. Who needs digital tumbleweeds when you can grow Morning Glory!?Anyways this all sounds easy if you had the right tools and more people and no time line.However I was using scissors, a claw thing, "lobster" (pruning?) shears at one point, and a hammer for most of it. Jay was using his hands, the shovel and then the mower that Angel's owner loaned us. I am so happy I have a wheelbarrel and that my other neighbor told us to help ourselves to his lawn clippings ( brown colored recycling) bin. We already filled ours. And by the end of it his. And STILL have plenty left over for another two bins ( easy). Add in the game of Porch Items Removal ( a very out of shape vanity....whose drawers I am recycling into flower boxes which I will paint and nail on to the railing of my porch, a pink broken toy chest/bench, and random items loitering about ) and some sidewalk sweep up ( to clear items that fell out of the wheelbarrel when items were in transit from front to back of house AND to put back the dirt that Link kept digging up as his way of helping) and you can see why this day just stretched out like warm summer taffy.However my porch is clear and clean, my sidewalk is edged, swept and nice looking, my lawn is mowed and my weeds gone or hidden. In fact at the end of the day my friend Tuxxy came over and exclaimed "Hey! Where'd my White Trash friends go?!" LOL! Today my pal Venton came over and seeing as he has never seen my yard look so good ( I told you lawn/garden care and maintenance was never an interest let alone a strong point for me).... well he thought something drastic must have happened! He actually asked me if everything was okay. LOL!Tomorrow I have some Rose Campion to replant, some bulbs to put in and some form of area rug for my weather worn, cat clawed, dog chewed, frumpy looking porch. I'm gonna go with a dark slate blue for my porch. Blue is more or less a theme with my house. My house itself is a greyish blue ( think country, overcast sky, or slate blue) while my chainlink fence is a BRIGHT recycling bin blue color. No I didna paint it ( though it does need a touch up badly which is yet another outdoor project but one that will have to wait for a reliable day or two of sunny weather). It came like that....which I personally find neat. I honestly think that is one of the reasons we bought this house. How many people do you know that have a BRIGHT blue chain link fence? Lol!Needless to say I took today off. Unless you count the trip to Home Depot to buy a new bathroom sink ( which Jerry my awesome husband and Jay my sweet roommate are installing right now as I type). Of course THAT is a story all by itself.One thing I have learned about gardening and lawn care......it may lead to a strong and steady case of Do It Yourselfness!Lol!!

*waves*Hellosies!Okay so let's take a few views on this eh?Homosexual means you are not just physically but SEXUALLY attracted to the same sex. Sexuality usually walks hand in hand with emotional and mental too. Usually is the key word here ( it's what our society expects for us yes? Love, sex, and marriage and all that right?).Heterosexual means the same thing only applied to the opposite sex.Bi-sexual means that the physical gender doesn't get in the way of the rest of it. If you feel physically, emotionally, mentally, sexually, attracted and/or fulfilled by either gender then this fits you. After all lips are lips, hands are hands, and cuddling is cuddling. There are more ways to share intimacy than just pole to hole ( please do forgive the crassness of this description, though it does describe both homosexual/heterosexual and hence bi sexual "home base" intimate activities).So is it weird to look at guys when you are a guy? No. BTW this is NORMAL. No really. Lots of guys ( full grown men too) check out other guys. It's a comparison thing. There is nothing wrong with saying "Wow that guy is hot!" when you are a guy. It could mean you have something to work up to, something you wish you had ( such as girth or length in your reproductory organs......also known as "penis envy") or it could mean that you appreciate his physical aesthetics ( which is NOT the same as wanting him in a sexual manner).It sounds like you are comfortable with the body structure of other males ( as you stated you can "stand" a penis). How was the relationship you had with your girlfriend? Did it end okay or badly? A lot of males have a hard time in relationships with females at the time you are in with your life. Females can seem perplexing and daunting ( even hurtful) sometimes ( especially in their teens as they are trying to define and find themselves and their niche in society as well as life just as much as you are). So there is no shame in identifying with the "safe" ( male) gender. This btw also does not make you gay.You also mentioned that you are not necessarily attracted to males in a sexual way. It sounds like you are just comfortable with their physical structure. Gay? Bi? Straight?I don't have the answers for you. Ask yourself some questions and BE HONEST!( Aside from peer pressure and what others think of you.....)"How do I feel about physically being ( touching, kissing, cuddling, hugging) another guy?""How do I feel about emotionally committing myself to another guy( opening myself up to and being supportive of the other person in the relationship)?""How do I see myself in this relationship ( strong, leading, sensitive, following, etc.)?""How do I feel about physically being ( touching, kissing, cuddling, hugging) a gal?""How do I fell about emotionally committing myself to a gal ( opening myself up to and being supportive of the other person in the relationship)?""How do I see myself in this relationship ( strong, leading, sensitive, following, etc.)?"Huh?Aren't those the SAME questions?Yes. And they apply to BOTH ( in fact really ALL THREE) situations.I disagree that gay, bi, and straight are choices. I have blue eyes. Sure I could wear contacts to please others and make them think that I have grey, green or brown eyes. However I have blue eyes. I did not ask for them. They came with me as a package. And that is how I view sexuality.You canna make a heterosexual truly gay any more than you can turn a gay straight. And for bi's? They just don't let gender get in the way.I can say that.I'm one of them ( the bi's that is and I am happily MONOGAMOUSLY married.... I can't touch but I can still look and appreciate and my hubby has no probs with that).So watch your gay porn. THAT does na make you gay. Unless you are having sexual fantasies about said actors then that may be a clue ( and from what you said gay porn does na do "That" for you.Feeling grossed out about vaginas and the package that comes with them ( the REST of the female)? Sorry. No gay points there either. There are grown VERY STRAIGHT (and even MARRIED) men that will do very little with a vagina ( and some not at all due to various reasons and yes I have met several who view the V word with angst, worry and even scorn). Ask yourself some of those questions.Notice how NONE of them had to do with SEX? People put TOO MUCH emphasis on sex. If a relationship ( in the human world) was only sex based.....well you can see how that goes. Condos and cell phones put aside we would be no better than skunks ( check out the ritual of coitus with skunks and you will see what I mean).RELATIONSHIPS regardless of gender depend on SO MUCH MORE than sexual intimacy.So which questions are you comfortable with?Males?Females?Both?No matter what you personally conclude to, there is no wrong answer.IMO none is better than any other.Gays are not "full of diseases" or engage in strictly "deviant" activities.Straights do not engage in just "plain "intimate activities or are afraid to add variety to their intimate lives.Bi's are not "greedy" and sleep with anything with two legs.These are just statements to make one sexual preference seem superior over another. And in the end a relationship isn't about sex. It's about respect. Some even call that type of respect love.I hope you find peace with yourself in this dilemma.

Heavensound mentioned :"Well I think everybody want to die a quiet, unpainful death and not end up in a car crash! I think the most important question is WHY and what actually happens when we die - what is objectively better - dying in a car crash or slowly in your sleep.The thing is that death is a process - your soul has to depart from your body and for that it needs some time - this is why in India they leave bodies laying dead for a few days and they pray for the soul of the dead so that his departure would be as easy as possible. And this is why car accident is not ok - it usually destroys your body so that the soul has no time to completely depart from the body - this is also why there are so many occurances of people seeing themsleves being operated - their soul was not able to depart.So yes, just like anybody else, I'd like to have a calm peaceful death, but I don't think that the majority knows why this sort of death is the best way to die..."Sometimes I wonder if people are as afraid of death as they are afraid of the pain associated with dying. Think about it for a moment. If you were brought up to believe that death was a painless release would you be as afraid of it? Even people in their upper years fear death. Sure a lot of that has to do with letting go of familiar things such as family, friends and possessions........however a lot of that has to do with the fear of pain on death.Notice how one of the first questions a loved one asks when someone dies is something along the lines of "Did they go in peace?Was he or she in any pain?How bad was it for them?How quick was it?"And it's really no wonder that we are afraid of the pain associated with death. Death in its most sensational and horrifying ways surrounds us on a daily basis what with many news channels highlighting violent crimes, video games that embrace and encourage death inducing violence ( from the ridiculous such as the PS3 downloadable "Pain" to the newest title in the Grand Theft Auto series) and let's not forget your run of the mill TV shows. Spike TV has "Whacked Out Sports" which is just one of many types of shows that are a menagerie of clips of people doing things ( ranging from average joe stuff like skateboarding to OMG who would do that stuntmen tricks) where they end up somehow ( and painfully) miraculously alive. Heck I was watching one of those types of shows and I am pretty sure the guy DIED. They did NOT mention his recovery at all and it would be a miracle if he DID survive. Heck back in my day you had to rent death footage videos ( yup there are video series such as the Faces of Death as example). Now you can watch it on TV for free. In fact coming out this month on Spike TV a new series will be making it's debut....."1000 Ways To Die" in which it will cover real life cases of terrible ways to die.So yeah. It's no wonder we all want to die peacefully.I used to want to die in my sleep. Then I thought to myself one day "What if I die and don't know it and can't "wake up" right away?" I know silly thought there......however I have lots of lucid dreams ( and some that level and level upon each other making trying to wake up a chore and almost a nightmare in itself).So how DO I want to die? Like most people out there......painlessly. I'm not sure that I really care how I go, so long as it doesn't hurt.

....is actually my walkway.What?????Okay so my husband wants to re-fi the house. I'm pretty dumb on the financial parts of it however I know the better the house and property looks the better the session. I've been doing ALOT of projects that have been on the "Need to do...but maybe some other time" list. Such as clearing out the basement ( UGH!) which leads to making dump runs ( and I have no truck so it means scheduling with friends and budgeting in dump run money), finally painting and reflooring the laundary room ( which my roommate Jay dubbed as "Saw worthy"...in reference to the Saw movies....and yes...it was pretty dreary, depressing and scary),and taking out the walkway on the left side ( left if you look at it from the front) of my house ( this thing was hideous and easily 30 plus feet long and was reffered to as "The Death Trap" as it was made in a way that three steps in one may trip and easily break several bones, the kindest being ones neck in this case). The Death Trap ended up with me straining my back ( as I had to smash all the LARGE UNEVEN pieces, carry them with a flat wheel barrel over lumpy terrain while avoiding purgatorial basement junk). SoOoOo I'm not supposed to move anything heavy ( and I have mostly stuck to that especially as some fellow looking for scrap metal hauled off several LARGE junker items from my yard.....YAYZZLES!!!). I still have loads of stuff to do. One of those (many) items is.......finding the nice brick and stonework walkway that came with this house.Huh?Yeah. Most of my friends ( including my roommate) didn't even know I HAD a nice little path like walkway ( nothing like the Death Trap). Not with 1/2 inch of dirt topped by Dandelions, unknown weeds, Nature's Natural carpet components ( Moss and Grass), Morning Glory, and Blackberry brambles ( mixed in with bits of trash, coal, ashes, glass? and basement junk). But truly it is there. I know. I started the adventure for treasure hunting yesterday. I spent probably 3 hours yesterday ( kinda hard to weed and dig and dispose and sweep and swear with the wrong tools when your kids are home......and no them helping is not really help....my son's ADHD/ODD is a constant exercise in reminding and redirection and my daughter's autism means making sure her OCD " must peel skin"....or pica..." must taste test dirt" real gardening chore deterants).I did manage to uncover about half the walkway ( and make my way down to the dirt on the side closest to the house after fighting copiously with Morning Glory and several Blackberry bush roots the size of small softballs) though.Today I started out fresh ( and tired beyond a new zone) sometime a little after 9 am and did not truly break until 1 pm. In THAT time ( along with several minor distractions and a couple of smoke breaks) I managed to finish THAT portion of the walkway, clear out afore mentioned dirt area ( about 3ft wide by about 6 feet long give or take), put down some fresh soil, plant random mystery seeds ( courtesy of seeds in a cannister), and water said seeds. I did a starter kit of these things in the house and they survived so I have high hopes that they should ( hopefully) do well outside.......Jay ( my roommate) was going to weed eat however I told him to wait so he went ahead and found the beginnings of the cement path that starts at the bottom of the back porch stairs.My husband ( Jerry) had come home from CQ ( which is a 24 "guard the desk at the barracks " kind of job that turned into a roughly 30 hour shift as he had to go to sick call to have his shoulder/back area looked at right after shift......long story there) and tried his hand at the weed eater ( in order to take down the rest of the jungle I refer to as my back yard. No seriously. I think I spotted a Liger in it the other day....). The weed eater came from another friend. The weed eater is sick.It is rejecting itself in facsinating ways....... SOoOoOo....weed eating was out. That is okay.About 1pm I followed my husband upstairs for a nap ( I was wiiiiiiiiiiiped). I think I fell asleep about quarter to 2pm ( last clock check was at 1:36 pm). I woke at 3pm ( yayzzles for alarms). Rousted myself up slowly and grudgingly. Went to the store and grabbed Marbs. mmmmmm Marlboros........Had some copious amounts of caffeine ( hush....I needed it!!) and went back outside to go rediscover the REST of my walkway. I finally stopped at about 7:30pm ( so add about 4 hours here.....).What I got done was the area Jay was working on and then the left side of the walkway ( left if you are looking at it from the inside of my house......I had been working on the right side all morn and into the afternoon).While I found no treasure I did find a walkway.I also filled up my brown recycle bin ( lawn clippings and all that).And part of my garbage bin ( shhhhh)And gave parts of my lawn a ghetto fab mowing with a pair of scissors. Yeah. I really did that.And nail up Nelly II and Ugly ( my CAT FREE Pileas Birdsnest and Strawberry Begonia.....my first Pileas Birdsnest finally kicked the bucket because my cats took turns SLEEPING on it).So far........I have changed my clothing out TWICE today.I managed to sunburn ONE arm ( my left one) even though it was na particularly sunny or warm.I have severely exfoliated my left arm the natural way ( keep mindlessly bumping and scraping arm up against denim that is laden with layers of dirt.....possibly glass in some instances).I have a callous/blister on my thumb ( right hand).My back keeps trying to steal my phone so it can call up a lawyer and press charges.The rusted shears I was using to stab at weeds and root them out ( they had no cutting power....the sheers that is) are in rehab for a rather excelerated case of Alchohol posioning.....The...I don't know...I call them Lobster Sheers ( pruning? They have one blade hooked and one straight and can cut through thumb thick brambles with ease) are as sharp as a narcoleptic zombie ( Aaron my son managed to accidentally sheer through part of the chain link fence in his endeavor to help me rid MORE blackberry brambles).The scissors ( which took the place of Rusty the stabbing sheers and doubled as my Ghettofied lawn mower/weedwacker) seem to have survived the ordeal happily.My gardening gloves will never know the meaning of "clean" again.I have officially joined the "Black Foot" clan ( as I work in my sandals since my achilles tendon still aches......long story here.....the short of it is sometime in December I partially tore the achilles tendon in my right foot.....OW....in normal shoes.Note here I finally have understood the TRUE meaning of "ground in dirt").But.....I have a walkway.Well mostly.I still have a straight path from the bottom of the cleared out porch stairs ( which Jay was scrubbing the dead moss off of ) to the parked car ( what 10 feet?) to de-weed and shear and clean up. That will be tomorrow.Along with some harvesting of Swiss Chard and Fennel ( I guess the last owner had a bit of a garden and the Swiss Chard <---which I thought were GIANT weeds until my neighbor told me, has taken over while the Fennel NEVER dies no matter how smashed and thrashed it gets.....my sister wants some for her garden). I also need to relocate some Spanish Bluebells ( beautiful, easy and spreads like weeds) to cover some bare patches. I also need to get some Forget-Me-Nots ready ( again for my sister as well as some of those Blue Bells......she's gonna give me some Dead Purple Nettles....yes I know it is a weed but it is a medicinal and edible one) AND transplant some Rose Campion ( which survived last years session of Aaron and his friend KC's expidition in helping me out by weeding....).And THAT is just the backyard ( I still have Blackberry cuttings to dispose, some Clover to dispose, some brambles to cut back and some REAL mowing).The front yard needs some cleaning up too.....So while I did not find any gold in my backyard ( Jay did note though that there were several pennies and dimes to be found) I have obtained some pride in regaining my walkway.Hats off to you my walkway nemises!Morning Glory I give to you the "Easiest Weed To Pull Even If You Have a Very Lengthy And Annoying Root System" award.Dandelions I give to you the "Tenacious Root Gripping System" award.Blackberries.....to you I give to you the " Deep, Bizarre, Steroid Ridden, Conniving Root System " award.And last but not least 1/2 inch of grassy carpeting to you I give you a thumbs up for finding purchase and making a stake out when there should have been no surface for you to do so in the first place.To all the potato bugs, grubs, slugs, catepillars, spiders and centipedes.....sorry guys. I tried to make the relocation process as easy as I could for ya'll.......So why all this hard work?Because if you neglect something long enough ( give this project two - three years) Nature WILL intervene.She's GREAT when it comes to prime property.I've never been a real gardening type. Mostly because I am terrible with plants. I go by the book and still they choke on me. Plants have to be forgiving AND hardy to survive me. The only houseplants to survive more than two weeks with me are the Pileas Birdsnest and Spider plants. They just don't care.My only real dealings in the past with outside plants were weeds ( Woody Nightshade LOVES me and FOLLOWS me) or bulbs someone else put in before me. I am having luck though with Irises ( which I planted two years ago.....long funny story on those.....they are a hardy forgiving type so if you are like me get some irises....the ones that bloom white/light purple I swear you can't kill them!) and Campion that a friend gave me.The Daffodils, Forget-Me-Nots,BlueBells, and SpiderPlants that do crop up in my yard ( along with some sick Silver Dollar plants, weak Golden Plum trees, Swiss Chard, Fennel,and Lamb's Ear) are all from whoever lived here before hand.I hate rejection ( though I do love plants) and so it's hard for me to get into the swing of things when it comes to planting or any attempt at gardening. I seem to have gotten better at it though ( even if I don't have a clue what I am doing). So yeah. Instead of upkeeping things ( routine weeding for example) I just did the bare minimum ( mow a couple of times in the summer and shoot down any unsuspecting Ligers).I have found this though to be a gratifying experience ( my backyard is looking INVITING for people beyond the safari hunting persuasion) and not only plan to do a regular regime in upkeep and maintanence but I also am actually thinking of putting some more ( hardy and forgiving) plants in.If I can do it ANY ONE can. Trust me. Cacti cry when they see me in the plant section at any given store...........