Wow so where to begin. I fell in love with this girl about 2 years ago. She was and still is everything to me. I hav never loved anyone as much as i love her. We lasted about 6 months..a very short time for how much i love her. I got severe with drugs and lost her and everything else in my world. About a year after we had broke up i was cleaning up my act. got a job stopped doin meth. Everytime i saw her id go cry somewhere.... i always felt pathetic cause its way out of my nature to cry randomly. She had just ended things with her new girl and i told her how much i still love her and all that good *BLEEP*. i pleaded that things would be different. I was lucky enough that she loves me too. But at this time i sorta had been seeing someone else and didnt want to risk losing anny again so i kinda *BLEEP*ed it up from the beginning. i broke it off with the other person but they constantly texted me. 3 months of this and anny had enough. she read a text that was just a little too *BLEEP*ed. i said some things i shouldnt have said but i was honestly just trying to make the other person feel better. i felt guilty...obligated. Its not like i cheated on her though. i had succesfully lost the one person i love more than anything...again! I started dating someone else and we have been dating now for a year....Why is anny still in my head..Why am i still madly in love with her. its hard being in a relationship when your in love with someone else. MY girl friend doesnt deserve this. ive never told her though so yeah. Im obsessed with her. I think about her everyday. Ive never had better sex in my life...lol we both are still friends..have been off and on..its just torture though cause everytime we start kickin it for a while things get heated and we end up having sex a few times and then i dont see her for months. I feel like her booty call kinda...i love this chick but i cant handle this emotional mess. i just want her..but as my girl friend. I dont wanna be that person she calls when she wants to *BLEEP*.but at the same time i do...idk what to do. She just does and says all the right things.she knows how to control me. im *BLEEP*in obsessed......yuck its almost disgusting...i hate loving herr so much. i just wish i knew how to be happy on my own. or i just want her back.
