all the time im depressed, i can never think of anything positive...and ....i dont really know how to write this.i used to be so social now i just talk to my boyfriend and stay home.i dont really see the point to living at all really....what does it acomplish?? so i dont really want to be alive.i spent most of my time panicing about everything alot of the time it gets uncontrollable and i just start shaking and being very irational. i cant have sex any more it makes me want to throw up....which is making everything worse cause my boyfriend...is a guy and they can only think with one head at a time lol but he has put up with this for over a year now so he must be a keeper...um..i want to get help but ,then like i am write now, i tell myself that prolly everyone thinks this and everyone thinks there problems are worse then they are. and im just over reacting....i have no self esteem or confidence....everyone at work thinks i am a *BLEEP* cause i hardly talk to them but really its cause i dont want to say anything wrong or anything like that. and my boss just makes it worse by pointing out the fact that i am 2 mins late for work and even if im not late she point out how i was late yesterday.....although that does not sound like a big thing, it makes me feel so *BLEEP* and agry and unpet and then i start having a 'silent panic attack' (whatever) and everyone just thinks im a retard.i dont know if any of that made sence but im to scared to read it over again...cause i dont like to remember what i feel about stuff...cause it usually makes things worse.what the *BLEEP* can i do to make this stop.i tried to ring the salvos for help but when they answer the phone and say 'How can i help you' what do you say back? please help me someone
